Homeless today.

[MooseIndian]

Today I am running away from home, if I can muster the strength that is. This is my last chance after school today, and so I have about 7 hours to decide if I am going to go through with this. I'm not sure if the details matter, because everything is such a cliche today among sixteen year olds. I do not have a liscence, or a job, and so I will be living on the streets, unless my parents apologize when I call them hear in a few hours. I have barely enough food to last me a few days, a water bottle, and my guitar(last minute thing).

I am very nervous, and very scared, but I really can not stay at that home any longer or I will be forced to kill myself. Im not whining, I'm just, I dont know I have nothing to lose really, but my life. I have no friends, no future, no family that is sane, not trash, not (Clinically)Insane, Not a hypocrite, or loving.


If I get the chance to post here again, I intend on posting whats happened to me the past 2 years.


If I leave, will this ruin my chance of becoming a musician? Is this the end of me? Im only sixteen, but I cant, I mean this, I can not live at that hoem anymore. This isnt even a selfish idea anymore, as they have told me so many times, Im only helping them financially, emotionally, and saving space, and the strength it takes them to do what they do to me.

Im terrfied.

 

[Badjedidude]

Don't do it.

 

[MooseIndian]

This is premeditated, If I go home, I get beaten, ridiculed and made fun of, trashed by my family, get my head shaved today(My head is deformed, Im not kidding, and I've been made fun of it my whole life), and half to clean the whole house over, and OVER, AND OVER again while nobody else in my 6 person family does anything, but sit around and purposly smear food, and crap(literally) all over the floor. Once my head is shaved I go to school, lose every thing, I mean I will get laughed at and made fun of even more than I am now, I will look hilarious, and I haven't turned anything in to my classes for weeks, because things have been going downhill for ever, If I were to stay at home until I graduate, I would have to spend another two years goign through this, when next year should be my last.

Its embarresing to be me.

 

[nerdygirl]

There are other options!

 

[MooseIndian]

There are other options!

Please tell me, this is as important as finding a meal to me.

 

[Sci-Fi]

You must have someone you can go stay with, a relative, friend, somebody. Running away may not solve anything, in fact it may make it worse. Who shaved your head, how'd that happen?

 

[MooseIndian]

The only friend I ever had was a year older than me, and became a total drugged up burn out. He became delusional that I spread some insane rumor, so I blocked all communication for my own safety. I have nobody to go to, and that includes at my house. As "girly" as this is I have cried myself to sleep so many times thinkign about how trapped I am, this or suicide seems to be the only way. My parents wont let me take medication for the depression I have suffered from for about eight months now, because they think Im goign to abuse, or sell them. So its getting worse.


My parents purposly shave my head bald because they know I have a deformed head, so they do that to me, so they know I get laughed at - at school. They do this because they have always found me crying to be funny, infact they laugh while they do it, and make my family watch.

 

[Callie]

Think about what you are doing before you do it. Get a job so you can take care of yourself. If it's bad and you can get proof, you may be able to get emancipated and they won't have that power over you anymore. Cover your bases so you can survive before you do anything drastic.

 

[MooseIndian]

Think about what you are doing before you do it. Get a job so you can take care of yourself. If it's bad and you can get proof, you may be able to get emancipated and they won't have that power over you anymore. Cover your bases so you can survive before you do anything drastic.

I dont have any ID, so I cant get a job, my parents made sure of that, and I can't get emancipated because Im not seventeen(Im in Texas), I dont have any proof I can support myself, and I have no tangible, or real evidence to support my case.

Is there another way to get emancipated?

 

[Sci-Fi]

That sounds terrible. Talk to a guidance councilor at school, find if there are any teen shelter programs or something in your area. Crying isn't girly, when you feel like you do it's just a natural emotional reaction. But you need to seek help. I don't want to seem like I'm over reacting here but if your parents are physically harming you then file a complaint, go to the police. It sounds like you are being bullied by your own family, which isn't uncommon it happens. My grandfather's second wife use to do mean things to one of her daughters while she always praised her other 2 kids.

 

[jjam]

File a police report! There may be someone that can shelter you for a while, at least until you can finish school (a must, plus you've come too far to let that achievement slip out of your hands), find work, and get your own place.

My goodness! You have to tell someone that can intervene and help you get out of there.

 

[Callie]

You would need to be able to show you can take care of yourself to get emancipated. But I agree with Sci-Fi, go to the police or your guidance councilor and seek help. Running away isn't the answer, it won't get you anywhere. Try doing it the legal way first.

 

[MooseIndian]

Gosh it really feels like Im making myself out to be an "out fo attention" kid, but I really am telling the truth when I say all of this.


I went to my counsiler at school a while ago, and tried describing all of this without saying too much, but she told me I'm throwing an "intellectual tantrum", by threatening myself, and told me the state would never let me get emancipated since Im not being beat up every day.

Im only hit, thrown around, and scratched when they are doign things like shaving my head, or trying to "punish me" for something, which they have all the right to do in Texas. I hate living here. Austin's a beautiful city, but everybody I have met has such a skewed moral compass.

Since Im not being beat up everyday the cops wont do anything, and they will also ask the rest fo my family, and theyw ill lie, because my siblings are spoiled, and get everything they want, as long as they suck up to my parents.

Is there a way, I could tell someone abotu this, without this turnign itno a court case, or an investigation?

I just want to leave this house, I dont want to start anything like that, because I know I will lose, then things will get even worse at my home for the next two years.

Also both my parents are in their young 30s(today is their anniversary how cute huh? Leaving today would be a wonderful gift)
They had me at 17, and both blame me for ruining their lives.


It seems like I have no chance of getting out of there.
Sometimes I think about doing really bad things, just to get locked up in a mental hospital to get away from here, but then I realize I can't be a young musician if I do that.

 

[Callie]

Every report of abuse legally has to be reported and is supposed to be investigated. Contact your local Child Protective Services and talk to them. Yes, it will be investigated. Start documenting everything that happens, if you have bruises, take pictures. You do have options, you just have to go about it the right way and running away won't help.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Gosh it really feels like Im making myself out to be an "out fo attention" kid, but I really am telling the truth when I say all of this.

I don't think that.

Yeah, there are laws and rulings that only allow the authorities to do so much. But seeing as you live in the States then yes there are other options. There are help lines, teen programs, all kinds of things that I bet you don't know are out there. You just have to look for them, and if your guidance councilor doesn't want to help you then try another, or talk to a teacher you trust. Google it, find what is in your area for help.

---

Yeah, do what Callie said, keep a log, take photo's, back up your story with hard evidence that people can't ignore.

 

[MooseIndian]

Alright guys, thank you so much for all of your time, and help.
Im going to go look around my county, and for help lines before I do anything like what I was planning, I just really hope things dont get worse in the mean time.

I will start taking pictures, and if possible voice samples of what they say to me, and make my family do to me.


Thanks again, and I'm really sorry for using up your time.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Well, not to get too technical here but you can't record people unless they know you are recording them. It's not admissible in a court of law. It goes a long way to sway peoples opinions though.

 

[Callie]

Well, not to get too technical here but you can't record people unless they know you are recording them. It's not admissible in a court of law. It goes a long way to sway peoples opinions though.

It's not admissible, but they do consider it for stuff like this. Do what you have to do, but do it the right way. Good luck

 

[MooseIndian]

Ha, well I guess that limits me, but I have a feeling that just because Im shy, quiet, and strange looking people will think I took pictures of things I did to myself.

I'm probably going to still record them then !

 

[Darkblue]

Don't know how it goes in Texas, but here, in France, you can get assistance from social services like "ASE" which aims to protect childrens that are in a situation like yours. Most of the time, when there's a doubt that the family might mistreat their children, a familiy court judge decide that the children will live with foster parents called "famille relai" 'till they are fully able to fulfill their needs or 25 yo, which give them the possibility to receive welfare income.
That's not really helping I guess, but you should try to get in touch with social services to find help. Sounds like you're in a situation nobody should have to go through and I strongly hope that you'll find a decent way out of here, that will allow you to chase the dreams you're after
If I can help you in anyway, feel free to ask.