How do you deal with this?

[wah]

I'm really sorry for opening a thread like this, but I don't know what to do. Things I'm going through I've never had to go through before in my life. I've never felt this bad. I don't know what's going on and I don't know where it ends.

I don't think I've ever been this lonely. I don't know how this happened to me or what I did to deserve it. Why I'm so different from everyone else I know and see on the street. I've never pushed anyone away and I always tried to be good to people, go my way for them and befriend them to the fullest possible extent. Yet, here I am, barely able to force myself into writing this thread. I'm sitting here trying to think of a way to put it in words and it takes five minutes a sentence.

I sometimes feel like the loneliest person in the world. I know it's not the right thing to say here, I know we're all lonely, but that's how it feels, I can't help it. I'm going through the toughest emotional times in my life and I don't even have anyone to tell. With the exception of some people from some internet sites I stayed in contact with, I don't have a single person to even call a contact, let alone an acquaintance, much less a friend. I know a lot of people who aren't exactly packed with friendships, but at least they have someone to ask for help or send a message to every now and then asking what's new. If it weren't for the internet and this forum, I don't know where I'd be right now.

Ever since my life started going downhill eight years ago I fought my arms and legs to swim to surface and just when there appeared to be light at the end of the tunnel came the last six months that made it all seem like a Sunday picnic. Every person I cared about for one reason or another put me on their ignore list, some of them without even so much as an explanation or a goodbye note. I was never closer to being happily in love for the first time in my life. My dad died two years ago and ever since she found a new man in her life, even my own mom acts like she couldn't care less about what's going on with me. We barely talk anymore and every time we try to we get in a fight. But she doesn't care anymore, she always has someone to run off to now.

I stopped thinking about suicide a long time ago, but I don't think I was ever more indifferent to dying than I am now. I don't think about it as much as I used to, but every time I see a couple cuddling and kissing on the bench in the park or a group of five on the street making jokes and talking about what a great time they had, I see only one way out for me. I'm afraid of it and not at the same time. Whenever something like this happens the only comfort is to go back to thinking about afterlife where there's no emotions and just knowledge and that's about the only thing that gets me through the day now. Sometimes it gets so hard I actually feel like I'm pushing the envelope of human desperation. The only hope I have left is that it's not going to last very much longer.

How do you deal with loneliness when you have absolutely no one to talk to? When you think about it, do any of you ever feel unspeakable freight in the face of the uncertainty of the outcome as a result of never hearing anyone else go through the same?

I apologize for personalizing this thread so much, it's just that these forums are not just the only place I can say some things without being bashed but the only place I can say anything at all anymore.

That's why I love you guys and why this place feels like a safehouse to so many ... I don't know if it's me or if somewhere on the road loneliness became the most common bridge between culture barriers.

 

[Steel]

Hey Wah.

I haven't got much to say, but I mainly wanted you to know that I had read your thread. I'm glad you posted it, and I hope in some way it was cathartic, and you said some things you really needed to get off your chest.

Hang on in there. My thoughts, and best wishes, are with you.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I'm really sorry for opening a thread like this, but I don't know what to do. Things I'm going through I've never had to go through before in my life. I've never felt this bad. I don't know what's going on and I don't know where it ends.

I don't think I've ever been this lonely. I don't know how this happened to me or what I did to deserve it. Why I'm so different from everyone else I know and see on the street. I've never pushed anyone away and I always tried to be good to people, go my way for them and befriend them to the fullest possible extent. Yet, here I am, barely able to force myself into writing this thread. I'm sitting here trying to think of a way to put it in words and it takes five minutes a sentence.

. My dad died two years ago and ever since she found a new man in her life, even my own mom acts like she couldn't care less about what's going on with me. We barely talk anymore and every time we try to we get in a fight. But she doesn't care anymore, she always has someone to run off to now.

I stopped thinking about suicide a long time ago, but I don't think I was ever more indifferent to dying than I am now. I don't think about it as much as I used to, but every time I see a couple cuddling and kissing on the bench in the park or a group of five on the street making jokes and talking about what a great time they had, I see only one way out for me. I'm afraid of it and not at the same time. Whenever something like this happens the only comfort is to go back to thinking about afterlife where there's no emotions and just knowledge and that's about the only thing that gets me through the day now. Sometimes it gets so hard I actually feel like I'm pushing the envelope of human desperation. The only hope I have left is that it's not going to last very much longer.

How do you deal with loneliness when you have absolutely no one to talk to? When you think about it, do any of you ever feel unspeakable freight in the face of the uncertainty of the outcome as a result of never hearing anyone else go through the same?

I apologize for personalizing this thread so much, it's just that these forums are not just the only place I can say some things without being bashed but the only place I can say anything at all anymore.

That's why I love you guys and why this place feels like a safehouse to so many ... I don't know if it's me or if somewhere on the road loneliness became the most common bridge between culture barriers.

Oh honey...((((((((((Wah))))))))))

First, don't apologize for making this thread! THIS is what this forum is for and what a lot of us are here for!
As for "what's going on, that's pretty obvious. Loneliness can turn into an all-consuming, living thing, which eats at us continuously. Where does it end? That depends on each of us and how we choose to deal with it, and sometimes, even a bit of luck.

"I don't think I've ever been this lonely. I don't know how this happened to me or what I did to deserve it."

You don't "deserve" to be lonely- nobody does. Often, circumstances are not what we have envisioned for ourselves. Are you really so different from the people you see on the street every day, or is it that their circumstances are just different from yours? I have very few friends myself, due to the fact that my husband is in the military. It has nothing to do with who I am as a person, but merely the unfortunate circumstances of moving often and not being in one place long enough to form friendships. This is what I mean by "circumstances."
And I'm sure you've probably been told, repeatedly, that you need to make attempts to find friends, put yourself out there, etc. I'm not going to bother with all that, because you've obviously tried, or you wouldn't be writing this thread. And another thing...it takes real courage to put your soul in plain view for everyone to see. A lot of people don't have the guts to do that.
You're obviously going through a very difficult time in your life and have been so for the last six months. I could tell you that things will get better for you and I really have no doubt that they will, but that's cold comfort when you feel like you do at this point in your life.
I seldom put personal stuff in posts, unless I think it will help someone. I haven't seen my own father in years. My parents were basically indifferent to their children when we were growing up. I never really felt especially loved or anything. Sounds like maybe your mother is a bit like that- indifferent. Parents shouldn't be that way towards their children, EVER. That's not on your shoulders, that's on HERS.
"How do you deal with loneliness when you have absolutely no one to talk to? When you think about it, do any of you ever feel unspeakable freight in the face of the uncertainty of the outcome as a result of never hearing anyone else go through the same?"

You DO have someone to talk to. You have a LOT of some ones to talk to, Wah. There are so many caring people here on this forum. And ya know what? I'd be willing to bet that some of them have even gone through what you've been going through. You obviously have great strength inside of you, Wah. Now, it's only a matter of persevering until you can find happiness again. My heart weeps for you. Someone as caring of others as you are should never feel alone. Please feel free to PM me anytime you need to talk. I'm a good listener.

Chin up, Wah. *hugs*


PS. Sorry if my reply doesnt seem very cohesive, but my three year old likes to interrrupt me and I lose track of my thoughts.

 

[jales]

it feels like if everyone was in as much pain as you have been in

we'd all have committed suicide and be dead. Or at the very least...we wounldnt care about fashion..

how i dealt with it was by taking time to deal with it.
i guess i was fortunate to have the time though.

I failed all my courses in school and started distracting myself from the pain because for me the pain was so bad that if you just let it consume you you will get very ill.

I thought about my life and why i was in so much pain and what needed to change..

I spoke and connected with people a lot.. like SadRabbit (nicest/really good hearted person I know), SinLaw (michael..very intelligent guy), AngryLoner (Alan...loyal friend..good person), AirBug (my current bestfriend..and boyfriend), and Skorian {these are the people who helped me when I was depressed}


I slowly started speaking about what caused my pain in the first place. A big part of how I dealt with it was through talking to people. Exploring life involves getting to know people.

I know you said you are open, and you also said you have some internet friends...keep making friends online and get to know them as much as you can. Figure out how they deal with their pain and you can learn from them.
Ex. Sinlaw (from here) he is someone who is always trying to help others and you know... that works for him. He doesnt have to think about his own depressions as much simply because he focuses his energy on other people's depression.

A big part of dealing with life involves using up your time. Sitting around not doing anything is not healthy ..even coming on here and writing long preachy post (like i am doing now)..is me occupying my time.

I know when I was in so much pain finding the energy to do it was hard though.. so you have to take time and heal. Explore your thoughts and explore people, write a book, or write music (or if that's not your thing...just watch a bunch of movies/listen to happy songs to see yet again how others think).

JUST please remember
life is a beauuuuutiful thing. Dont waste more than five years at a time being mostly depressed..and if you have already it's time to stop. You have the potential to be sooo happy; dont waste that potential. Go embrace and explore life and people and embrace happiness and nature and mystery and energy.

Life is so beautiful wah ..believe me it is.
Just promise me that you will make an effort not to waste it. And know that you cant make that effort completely alone. As humans we need friend and people to be happy and healthy ..we just need it.

So actually if anyone else thinks they are wasting their life "preacher jales" says PM wah, and together you'll should support each other and make the effort to embrace happiness!

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Hi Wah, I sorry you're going through this. I'm sorry that you lost your father.

Honestly I still spend most of my time alone. You're braver than me for reaching out.
I can sort of relate to you but I don't really know what you're feeling or how you're processing
you current life situation.

I'm not really sure how to handle life when I feel alone, unwanted or bascailly invisible.
I did that best that I would. Sometimes it was healthy , sometimes it wasn't.
Yeah..sometimes I get tired just trying to keep my head above the water.
And a lot of times i just gave up. The rest of the time i felt like going out of my mind.

Yeah..the envy stage turns into anger, then into depression then into despair.
It's a mixed bag of emotions when you feel everything all at once.

For the longest time, i didn't think anyone would understand me or would even cared.
To my surprized as alway, I've met people that would understand me can cared about
me more than I can image.

I just had to keep reaching out in my own ways. I havn't been accused of jacking a
thread yet.lol I just had to love myself and take care of myself..it was a struggle and
i still have to work at it today. Just one foot in front of the other.

Half of the time..I had to try to stop thinking and not take myself seriouse anymore.
It was a healing process. I wasn't mentally or emotionally well, so thinking about it wasn't
going to solve anything for me. It just made me felt worst if i think about what could
have been or what I don't have.

A part of me didn't even care anymore. But I knew that a part of me still wanted
to live and be loved. So I just started loving myself as best I can a little bit everyday.
Though sometimes it's the hardest thing that i can do becuase it is the part that no one can do for me.

 

[Nicky]

hey wah,

firstly, just want to say no need to apologize for posting this

i honestly dunno what i can possibly say to make u feel better - but i want u to know that i can totally relate to what u're saying and i'm always here if u need someone to talk to

nicky

 

[Bluey]

How do you deal with loneliness when you have absolutely no one to talk to? When you think about it, do any of you ever feel unspeakable freight in the face of the uncertainty of the outcome as a result of never hearing anyone else go through the same?

Let me just say that I read your hole post. I have not got any good advice for you. Just I understand what your saying. No need to apologise for making it personal. Its what this place is all about. Sorry to here about your dad. I bet ye mum still cars. She probably just busy in her own world trying to move on her self. My mum is still with my dad after 34 years of marriage and only lives up the way. But even she seems to be to busy for me sometimes. She has her own life. I do know that if I ever needed her for something important that she and my dad would both be there strait away for me. So I Guss am very lucky there. The thing that gets me down is a man in he's 30s should have moor then just he's mum and dad. But I do have that at lest and am glad for it.

What do I do when I feel really lonely. well am seat here nursing a hangover. So whats that tell you? This place helps me. It helps to read other peoples posts and know that am not alone in feeling alone. There is also a lot of cool peeps here. That also makes me feel better cos I know that you don't have to be some social out cast with no sense of humor to end up in a place like this. Most ppl here are funny, witty and are really nice and welcoming ppl. Not what one would expect on a bord full of lonely ppl. But there you go. This is what makes this place so amazing.

What am trying to say is just cos you feel you have no friends in the world right now it dose not mean necessarily that your doing something wrong. Just means that it this stage in your life you are at a cross roads. You obviously are a very intelligent guy. Its only a matter of time be for you make new friends in the world.

 

[wah]

What can I say. I forgot how good it feels having someone to hear and understand. My emotions towards you guys go beyond what words can express.

Thank you all so much. I'm usually not too good with thank you posts because I don't know what to say without it sounding redundant, but here goes anyway ...

@ Steel - Thanks, man. What else can I say. It was cathartic to some extent, but every time I open my soul the first thing that happens is I get even more frustrated because I feel like there was so much more to say.

English is also not my mother's tongue, so I need extra concentration (like I don't have problems concentrating as it is) so I often get even more frustrated because I feel like I could have done a better job.

Luckily, the intro post here took five minutes a sentence, but I still just felt even worse when I sent it, there's nothing worse than failing at even expressing how you feel.

Add to that the fact that I must have lost at least five posts here for clicking the wrong button (tab lock doesn't help here, it has to do with the way the engine caches a text) and you got yourself a party. Actually, now that I think about it, it might not have been a bad thing I lost some entries since they were bad writing anyway.

Sometimes frustration seems like a vortex, once it sucks you in, the more you try to fight it the worse it seems to get and the only thing you can do is hope someone reaches in and pulls you out.

Thanks again, Steel. Hope you have it better than me, what else can I say.

@ Eve - What can I say. I guess you know thank you doesn't cut it. You care about me more than all of my friends in the past put together.

When it comes to love from other people, the Fortune Goddess you mention has turned her back to me a long time ago. Come to think of it, I don't think she ever looked me in the face.

I admire people who make their own luck, but with ten years of failures behind me and a childhood of tyranny and abuse, I know I'm not one of them. I do believe there's much under our control, but the detrimental factor is always governed by radnom acts or the oustide perception and influence, not by our own actions. It can be affected to a ceratin extent by our suggestive ablities, but the final verdict of the social quality of the subject will always be in the hands of the object of our efforts and the general cirucumstances the process is taking place under. I would love to see myself as omnipotent as so many out there do nowadays, but there's this thing called exchange that bothers me a bit. The last I heard, it was like the founding element of our reality.

Still, it sure must feel good pulling off everything you put your mind to.

I think I am different from everybody else and that our circumstances are different. I think both is true. That's why I have such a hard time fitting anywhere. Everywhere I go I feel like I don't fit in, some places I even feel like I'm sticking out like a soar thumb. When I go downtown and pass by bars and coffee houses or just see people on the street hanging out feeling so happy and good about themselves I feel like I belong to another galaxy and was accidently dropped from a spaceship and landed here. I can't even being to imagine starting up a conversation with a stranger on the street and it seems more probable I'll grow chicken wings than ever approach a girl.

Thank you for your kind words about my courage to expose myself, but I don't see myself as a hero. If I were, I'm pretty sure quite a few things would be different in my life. It is true though I've never had any problems admitting to my shortcomings, but I never thought of them as something I should be ashamed for anyway, even if they usually get interpreted as self-pity and coming out as just reaching for likemindeds. I think the real heroes are those like you, Eve, and many others on this forum who instead of turning their own dissatisfaction into intolerance decided to use their suffering to help in the suffering of others.

About my mom, she was never this way before. She was actually the very opposite of everything she seems to be now. She was always an overwhelminly warm and loving person and I was never ashamed to call her an angle on Earth to her face. But now the tables have turned and I'm alone on this side. It gets so hard I stop myself from thinking about it before I lose any belief in humanity I have left. She was the only person on Earth I was absolutely sure will never change and now that even that has happened I don't know what to think anymore about anything. When I first found out about it, confusion didn't even begin to describe how I felt. Needless to say I try to be happy for her as much a humanly possible, but when she forgets it's my birthday because she's with another guy, it's hard not to feel like nothing will ever be the same anymore.

I'm sorry to hear about how your parents treated you and your siblings, Eve ... I hope you know what a triumph of intellect and heart it is to have overcome your memory and not to have taken the easy way in life. I can't thank you enough for your post and all your words ... Why are all of you guys always on the other end of the world? Maybe I just fell on the wrong continent from that ship.

Big hug. *hugs*

it feels like if everyone was in as much pain as you have been in we'd all have committed suicide and be dead.

Great. Thanks a lot.

Thank you so much for all your kind words, jales ... I hope you know how happy you are to have made such close friendships (and more than just that) with people you met on a forum ... It's highly unlikely I will ever have a chance to thank any of you in person, so I can only extend my gratitude for all your efforts in showing support and understaing by typing thank yous.

You're right about taking the time to deal with everything that comes your way. The problem is sometimes is seems like time is all I have and as it goes by only more problems accumulate and before you know it you spent most of your time just trying to deal with your situation whether you want it or not.

You're right about how even though talking your misrey out can only get you so far, when there's nothing else, it does at least provide some short-term comfort. At least that's how it is in my case. Tomorrow I'll wake up and go to town and get back into state of disbelief, but at least tonight I can feel alive writing this.

Thanks for writing the music suggestion. That's what I do for a living, so that's one of the outlets already being used to its fullest extent. Believe it or not, but my depression was a big part of why I went into composition and orchestration in the first place. If everything was howdy-doody in my life, I'm pretty sure I'd be an economist right now.

I promise I will make an effort not to waste my life, jales ... Thank you so much for everything.

@ Lonesome Crow - Thank you, man. If you feel unwanted and invisible then you can relate more than you can imagine. Those of us who feel that way all the time know there's nothing harder in this world. And it's not about the rejection. It's that any concept of change is by definition futile in its core.

My father's death had a different impact on me than most fathers' deaths have on their children. I'm sorry to say he is a big part of everything that's happened to me and what I am today, but that's a subject for a whole other thread.

Thanks for everything, Crow ... I really got intersted in everything you wrote as it seeems we have more in common with each other than you may think. Thank you for all your suggestions, my friend ... Be sure this is not the last time I will read your story and the last part will stick with me for a long time. Maybe someday there will be two of you who will do the loving.

@ Nicky - Thanks, my friend. Always looking forward to you PMs.

@ Bluey - Thanks, mate. What else can I say. Don't worry, mom and dad won't be the only ones there one day.

I do hope I'm just at a crossroad, but it feels more like a dead end street. Hopefully I'll find a hole to crawl through to the other side one day or at least find a way to make it back.

Again, what can I say ... Thank you, guys. Your posts made my day. I'm so sorry I don't have the energy or the wits to participate in the activities here more often.

It seems like I'm not that bad at thank you posts after all.

That's it, I'm off to watch the debate.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Thanks for sharing Wah. You kind of express it better than I can.
I'm not very good with words. There's a side of me that's very private or shy per say.lol

There's silver lining or a thorn in my mind.
I can't fully grasp it. I don't know why I can't move forward or sees life clearer.
The closest I can explain it sometimes is that I see life or the world through fracture lens or mirrors.
I don't know if you'll will every be able to find truth and understand it.

wow...music was my passion. At this piont in time, I don't have it me to compose or
write music.

You're helping me more than you think. Please post.

As for the debate....
I don't know if Joe or Sarah will have or make any changes in my life.
Sarah is easier on my eyes than Joe and I giver her extra credit for winking @ me.

 

[SadRabbit]

well...hang in there ya. Sometimes, its better to depend on yourself. Friends are never really anything unless they need your help. You can try talking to people at work or maybe if you study, at school. Maybe hang out with them and kill your loneliness, other than that, never expect much from friends, a difficult and sad lesson i have learnt all through this years, that friends/family members are really just your ordinary stranger whom you cannot depend on anymore.

 

[wah]

Thanks for sharing Wah. You kind of express it better than I can.

No, my friend. You are the one that's doing the expressing. Your post was wah in a nutshell. That's why I will be reading it many more times. Now I finally know how to put it when they ask.

And, yes, © Lonesome Crow, don't worry.

I'm not very good with words. There's a side of me that's very private or shy per say.lol

You are better with words than you can even begin to imagine.

There's silver lining or a thorn in my mind.
I can't fully grasp it. I don't know why I can't move forward or sees life clearer.
The closest I can explain it sometimes is that I see life or the world through fracture lens or mirrors.
I don't know if you'll will every be able to find truth and understand it.

Ditto, bro.

You're helping me more than you think. Please post.

How in the world are my rumblings helping you?

As for the debate....
I don't know if Joe or Sarah will have or make any changes in my life.
Sarah is easier on my eyes than Joe and I giver her extra credit for winking @ me.

Yeah, I think the Republicans just grabbed the tick vote. Is Nader running, by the way?

well...hang in there ya. Sometimes, its better to depend on yourself. Friends are never really anything unless they need your help. You can try talking to people at work or maybe if you study, at school. Maybe hang out with them and kill your loneliness, other than that, never expect much from friends, a difficult and sad lesson i have learnt all through this years, that friends/family members are really just your ordinary stranger whom you cannot depend on anymore.

Thank you, my friend. Looking forward to talking to you on MSN. Can't say I share many of your expressed people views there, but I can more than relate to where you're coming from.

Thanks again.

 

[evanescencefan91]

hey wah i'm sorry how everythng, turned out. i have days when the mere thought of having to get of bed in the morning makes me so miserable. It seems i just can't fit in right. And no one really takes the time and effort to make friends it seems sometimes it seems it's a mattern of convience we're only friends so long as we have to same classes.

But even when it feels like it, you're not alone, we're here for you. We have just have to make it through one day at a time.

And once you get through it and trust me you will, it' won't seem all that bad.

Hang in there, were all in this together

*hugs*

 

[wah]

hey wah i'm sorry how everythng, turned out. i have days when the mere thought of having to get of bed in the morning makes me so miserable. It seems i just can't fit in right. And no one really takes the time and effort to make friends it seems sometimes it seems it's a mattern of convience we're only friends so long as we have to same classes.

But even when it feels like it, you're not alone, we're here for you. We have just have to make it through one day at a time.

And once you get through it and trust me you will, it' won't seem all that bad.

Hang in there, were all in this together

*hugs*

Hey, Claire, just now saw your post.

What can I say ... Thank you so much for your kind words, my friend. Talk to you on PM.

 

[RobertJW]

Lots of stuff in the original post I can empathise with. Your comment
"I don't think I was ever more indifferent to dying than I am now. I don't think about it as much as I used to, but every time I see a couple cuddling and kissing on the bench in the park or a group of five on the street making jokes and talking about what a great time they had, I see only one way out for me. I'm afraid of it and not at the same time" really hit home with me.

You obviously have a lot of the anguish that I myself have.

I can't give you any answers, but I can talk via PM if you need

 

[Rent412]

Please don't apologize, this site was made for a reason. I feel E X A C T L Y how you're feeling. The thing you have to remember is so many other people are feeling that way. When you see a couple kissing on a bench, it doesn't mean they're happy. They may just be having a good day, for all you know the man could beat the crap out of the girl when they get home! What I'm saying is don't let other people make you feel upset. Have you ever tried to reconnect with old friends, or make new ones? I have 1 girl friend but she's off in a sorority in her own world in college. Even if I were to talk to her about my problems, she acts like an annoying parent and would sit there and interrogate me, so I can't go to her. I have a lot of male friends but most of them want to get with me and don't actually care about my problems. I actually have a boyfriend but he doesn't understand what I'm going through at all. He's actually making the situation worse, and it's driving me nuts. I feel so alone no matter how many people are around me. You have to understand something though. You will NOT feel this way forever. Please do not ever think that you only have one way out. There's so many things to do in life. Why don't you find some hobbies.. you'll be surprised how many people you can meet and will get along with because you like the same things. It may seem pathetic, but I know they have meetings and even cruises for singles trying to meet people. It's NOT pathetic, because obviously enough people feel a certain way for them to even create those things. Being lonely hurts, but it's up to you to stop that feeling, and suicide is NOT the answer. Sometimes, very briefly, I think about it as well. But then I think about my future and how one day I will get married and have children, and I cannot wait for that day. If I didn't want kids I think it'd be a whole different story but still.. there is a lot to live for, even if it doesn't seem like it. I know I can't help you because I cannot even help myself, but I hope you find some comfort knowing you're not alone in this.

 

[NakitaKita]

Trust me hun there are people going through the same things. And quite honestly, some people that actually have alot of people to talk to and to be around they feel as trapped as you. Although they may have all these people around them they may feel like none of them relates to anything they're feeling.

Anyways, I know how it is you try to be the truest person you can be but then you get stomped on and miss used and everyone thinks your trying to do them in because ( how in the world can someone be so truthful and good hearted with the way the world is now ) thats their lost that they can't see it possible.

As far as romantic relationships - i've based my whole life on trying to find someone who is everything i've wanted and the same in return. Its not worth it though, don't worry about those kisses your longing for or those hugs because then thats the time it will happen. I found out when you just being yourself ignoring your lust for love people get to see more of you because your not trying to impress your just being you. So if your bummed or heart broken you don't have to really hide it because believe it or not there are people out there who actually like "the broken" and want to help "fix" whats ever been hurt. Which just means that they have alot of love to give and dosen't mind putting in a few extra hrs of work to help make someone else happy.

.... might have been completely off subject sorry

 

[wah]

Hey, guys ... Sorry for the late response, it's been a while since I last visited this section. Thank you all so much for all your words of support. I hope we get to talk more via PM.

Thank you again.