How do you get over a big disapointment ?

[Triple Bogey]

Sorry to hear your story, but, no matter what happen, you still have to keep moving on.

Most things in life you can get over through time! Just be patient, getting over with some things can take up to 10-20 years sometimes or more or less, but it's worth it. So try being patience sometimes. While being patience, you could distract yourself. Perhaps play games ? or find new hobbies?

Sometimes, try learning to 'Let Go' of stuffs. Humans tend to have attachment with many things in life, and when it disappear, they just couldn't let it go. So, just let go! if you can't, try to. It takes time! That's why be patience no matter what. Once you let go, you will be a whole lot different person.

Thanks for all your kind replies.

I think deep down what hurts is, I am 45 and spent all of my life single. Had a few odds dates here and there which didn't account for much. There have been literally dozens of women who I have liked but none of them ever liked me back.

So in the last 15 years or so I have never really thought I would meet anybody, I live my life, go to work, play golf, no friends, I was happy enough.

What happened gave me the feeling of 'having someone', 'somebody actually cares', 'somebody likes me', 'somebody can be bothered to send me a text and ask me how I am' - I could hardly believe it. I mentioned to my brother that I couldn't believe someone was into me so much and he said 'maybe it's your time'

But it's over now and back to my old life of no texts, messages, just plodding on, keeping myself occupied. I don't actually want to meet people now, just want to be by myself.

I see your reason now. But, still, life is a journey, no matter what happens, you still have to continue your journey . Don't worry too much, it's never too late to get married , though I know many would want to do it earlier, but sometimes our destiny is such that it is like this. There's nothing that can be done. But no matter what happens, always stay positive!

If you are destined to marry someone, then perhaps in time, you will. That is why, be patience. Destiny is an amazing thing you know? You may never know how you may turned out to be in the future, that is why it's best for us to think positive and be open minded & open hearted to accept things, then adapt to that new environment. Some people are more unfortunate, but there are always millions who are much more unfortunate than you. So don't worry.

For now, I would suggest, do what you are Best at being happy . Being happy is the only thing that can be done by you yourself . State of mind

pretty sure I won't ever get married !

---

Two weeks ago something happened that has left me incredibly down, depressed and hurt. I don't (can't) really say what it was. I have tried to reach out to people for help with little success - a text to my brother was ignored, a private message on here wasn't even read, tried to set up a coffee meeting with a female friend only for her to back out twice, another meetup yesterday didn't happen.

The things I enjoy doing, playing golf, watching football, taking photo's, talking to the customers at work, reading, watching films don't make me happy anymore. I feel I have no hope left.

Thanks for reading

Depends what the disappointment was? I cant really get over the big things but then again Im weak... But then again I do... I had to force myself to live with certain disappointments which were truly heart-breaking. Guess time is the only cure... But just don't look at the clock...

it was a disappointment how things turned out. I guess I am mad at myself too which doesn't help. At the end of the day it was me who messed it up !

 

[Skid Row 89]

Moping around seems to be my default coping mechanism

 

[Triple Bogey]

Moping around seems to be my default coping mechanism

yes same here and sleeping during the day.

 

[ForGrantedWife]

Please everyone be careful when it comes to internet scammers. The world is filled with people who'll try to be nice to you or make you feel like they're either your friend or a possible lover in order to prey on your emotions and scam money out of you. Anytime someone asks you for money or tries to make you feel like they need money badly or else something bad is going to happen to them is really just a scam artist. You can take that to the bank if they start that with you. My MIL got took by a scam artist because she's so trusting and easy to get to emotionally. NEVER fall for a ploy for money. Don't end up a victim, second guess everything you hear and use your head to steer you out of a dangerous situation. If they want your money they don't love you as a partner or friend, period.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Two weeks ago something happened that has left me incredibly down, depressed and hurt. I don't (can't) really say what it was. I have tried to reach out to people for help with little success - a text to my brother was ignored, a private message on here wasn't even read, tried to set up a coffee meeting with a female friend only for her to back out twice, another meetup yesterday didn't happen.

The things I enjoy doing, playing golf, watching football, taking photo's, talking to the customers at work, reading, watching films don't make me happy anymore. I feel I have no hope left.

Thanks for reading

Thankfully I didn't feel like that for very long !
Back to my normal happy self

It probably wasn't the best post I have ever written and looking back not a great idea but what's done is done. Time to move on ..

 

[Broken_n_Lost]

Two weeks ago something happened that has left me incredibly down, depressed and hurt. I don't (can't) really say what it was. I have tried to reach out to people for help with little success - a text to my brother was ignored, a private message on here wasn't even read, tried to set up a coffee meeting with a female friend only for her to back out twice, another meetup yesterday didn't happen.

The things I enjoy doing, playing golf, watching football, taking photo's, talking to the customers at work, reading, watching films don't make me happy anymore. I feel I have no hope left.

Thanks for reading

Thankfully I didn't feel like that for very long !
Back to my normal happy self

It probably wasn't the best post I have ever written and looking back not a great idea but what's done is done. Time to move on ..

Every one is allowed to vent (esp on here), Im glad you are feeling better, all we can do is learn from our mistakes although Im shite at that! Or just accept our mistakes and know who we truly are and what we are truly capable of doing.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Two weeks ago something happened that has left me incredibly down, depressed and hurt. I don't (can't) really say what it was. I have tried to reach out to people for help with little success - a text to my brother was ignored, a private message on here wasn't even read, tried to set up a coffee meeting with a female friend only for her to back out twice, another meetup yesterday didn't happen.

The things I enjoy doing, playing golf, watching football, taking photo's, talking to the customers at work, reading, watching films don't make me happy anymore. I feel I have no hope left.

Thanks for reading

Thankfully I didn't feel like that for very long !
Back to my normal happy self

It probably wasn't the best post I have ever written and looking back not a great idea but what's done is done. Time to move on ..

Every one is allowed to vent (esp on here), Im glad you are feeling better, all we can do is learn from our mistakes although Im shite at that! Or just accept our mistakes and know who we truly are and what we are truly capable of doing.

thank you

 

[ladyforsaken]

Thankfully I didn't feel like that for very long !
Back to my normal happy self

It probably wasn't the best post I have ever written and looking back not a great idea but what's done is done. Time to move on ..

Glad to hear this, TB.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Thankfully I didn't feel like that for very long !
Back to my normal happy self

It probably wasn't the best post I have ever written and looking back not a great idea but what's done is done. Time to move on ..

Glad to hear this, TB.

cheers lady

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

It's nice that you were able to move on, but this is a pretty good question nonetheless.

I personally allow myself to be disappointed. I become sad or angry and mutter with contempt for hours as I recount the situation and remember exactly why I feel so slighted. Sometimes I doodle some emotional sketch (I have a mini sketch pad devoted to this) or sing an angsty song really loudly or just bawl my stupid eyes out.

Eventually I come to find I've experienced the situation for long enough that it doesn't hurt anymore. Sometimes I come out with a lesson learned regarding a different way I could have approached the situation to avoid disappointment. Other times, I just treat it like a dog bite and forget about it.

Nothin' wrong with moping around every now and again.

 

[Hopefuldreamer]

I suffered through a huge disappointment right before my holidays in July. So my two weeks that were supposed to be fill with fun weren't. I tried to keep busy but I had no one to talk to and the things I want to do didn't interest me. It didn't help that it rained three days straight. However, I just kept forcing myself to do stuff to keep my mind off it. It took a while, but it did get better.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I suffered through a huge disappointment right before my holidays in July. So my two weeks that were supposed to be fill with fun weren't. I tried to keep busy but I had no one to talk to and the things I want to do didn't interest me. It didn't help that it rained three days straight. However, I just kept forcing myself to do stuff to keep my mind off it. It took a while, but it did get better.

Talking helps and then time and reflection.

 

[Hopefuldreamer]

I suffered through a huge disappointment right before my holidays in July. So my two weeks that were supposed to be fill with fun weren't. I tried to keep busy but I had no one to talk to and the things I want to do didn't interest me. It didn't help that it rained three days straight. However, I just kept forcing myself to do stuff to keep my mind off it. It took a while, but it did get better.

Talking helps and then time and reflection.

Yeah but at the time I had no one to talk to. I blogged about it, and talked about it on an internet forum but that was it. I have one friend, but she busy during that time. I didn't want to bother my mom and sister with it. So I just kept it to myself, and tried to keep myself busy.

 

[GrannySmith111]

Two weeks ago something happened that has left me incredibly down, depressed and hurt. I don't (can't) really say what it was. I have tried to reach out to people for help with little success - a text to my brother was ignored, a private message on here wasn't even read, tried to set up a coffee meeting with a female friend only for her to back out twice, another meetup yesterday didn't happen.

The things I enjoy doing, playing golf, watching football, taking photo's, talking to the customers at work, reading, watching films don't make me happy anymore. I feel I have no hope left.

Thanks for reading

Well, whenever something happens to me that really disappoints me I try and forget about it. I think about the fact that THINKING about what you could've or should've done is just prolonging the suffering from what disappointed you in the first place.

For example, my parents got divorced a couple years back. Main reason was my dad found this girl that she decided was more important than his family. My mom always thinks about how it's so disappointing that because of this one girl, we won't have the life that we should've.

Well for me, I can't do anything about it can I? I can't decide what my dad does. It was his choice to be with this other girl, and to leave his family. Unless I'm a genie, there's nothing I can do about what happens. Thinking about it is just gonna make it worse so I choose not to think about it and move on.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Two weeks ago something happened that has left me incredibly down, depressed and hurt. I don't (can't) really say what it was. I have tried to reach out to people for help with little success - a text to my brother was ignored, a private message on here wasn't even read, tried to set up a coffee meeting with a female friend only for her to back out twice, another meetup yesterday didn't happen.

The things I enjoy doing, playing golf, watching football, taking photo's, talking to the customers at work, reading, watching films don't make me happy anymore. I feel I have no hope left.

Thanks for reading

Well, whenever something happens to me that really disappoints me I try and forget about it. I think about the fact that THINKING about what you could've or should've done is just prolonging the suffering from what disappointed you in the first place.

For example, my parents got divorced a couple years back. Main reason was my dad found this girl that she decided was more important than his family. My mom always thinks about how it's so disappointing that because of this one girl, we won't have the life that we should've.

Well for me, I can't do anything about it can I? I can't decide what my dad does. It was his choice to be with this other girl, and to leave his family. Unless I'm a genie, there's nothing I can do about what happens. Thinking about it is just gonna make it worse so I choose not to think about it and move on.

I remember when I was 21, I had spent 3 years trying to get a job and I finally got one. I was there for 4 months and they let me go. I didn't see it coming. I was devastated, so upset. It wasn't the money, it's the thought I wouldn't get another job. I had spent so much time and effort trying to find employment, I had done well at the job but there was cut backs so I had to leave.

It's the thought of nothing going my way, never getting any luck, struggling for everything I achieve (while watching everybody else gets good better jobs so easily)

It's similar to this situation.

 

[Broken_n_Lost]

I remember when I was 21, I had spent 3 years trying to get a job and I finally got one. I was there for 4 months and they let me go. I didn't see it coming. I was devastated, so upset. It wasn't the money, it's the thought I wouldn't get another job. I had spent so much time and effort trying to find employment, I had done well at the job but there was cut backs so I had to leave.

It's the thought of nothing going my way, never getting any luck, struggling for everything I achieve (while watching everybody else gets good better jobs so easily)

It's similar to this situation.

I so know what you mean about nothing going your way whilst watching others get things easier than me. But I suppose its my (and your) test to work harder to achieve a goal.

 

[Retrospective81]

Sorry to hear your story, but, no matter what happen, you still have to keep moving on.

Most things in life you can get over through time! Just be patient, getting over with some things can take up to 10-20 years sometimes or more or less, but it's worth it. So try being patience sometimes. While being patience, you could distract yourself. Perhaps play games ? or find new hobbies?

Sometimes, try learning to 'Let Go' of stuffs. Humans tend to have attachment with many things in life, and when it disappear, they just couldn't let it go. So, just let go! if you can't, try to. It takes time! That's why be patience no matter what. Once you let go, you will be a whole lot different person.

Thanks for all your kind replies.

I think deep down what hurts is, I am 45 and spent all of my life single. Had a few odds dates here and there which didn't account for much. There have been literally dozens of women who I have liked but none of them ever liked me back.

So in the last 15 years or so I have never really thought I would meet anybody, I live my life, go to work, play golf, no friends, I was happy enough.

What happened gave me the feeling of 'having someone', 'somebody actually cares', 'somebody likes me', 'somebody can be bothered to send me a text and ask me how I am' - I could hardly believe it. I mentioned to my brother that I couldn't believe someone was into me so much and he said 'maybe it's your time'

But it's over now and back to my old life of no texts, messages, just plodding on, keeping myself occupied. I don't actually want to meet people now, just want to be by myself.

Triple, me and you are so alike, even though I am 31, turning 32 in November. Most of what you are going through I have been through. Relationships included. Reaching out to people I also got ignored and shunned and I could hardly think of good reason 'not' to reply (it takes 2 minutes to reply to a text or an email, even if you reply to say you are busy, you do so out politeness and common courtesy and decency)

Also been there in your thoughts with meeting people thinking people respected me, felt like I found a friend and kaboom! it all went to complete shite.

I'm not saying the following is right for you but neither do I want to discourage you either, but yeah I've stopped reaching out to people here apart from family, this forum and 2 friends on Skype. I like to think to people should be able to deal with their own problems as they are 'grown up' enough to do so. I refrain from talking to people myself about my issues as I know I have the relevant places to do so such as this site. Also the anonymousy works wonders for me too.

In my book and how I now see it, there should be no reaching out' rather these people should ask if they can talk to you about things if they want to be around you or need you. That's how I see it anyway.

I wouldn't say give up but perhaps just tell people in person if they need you, they know where you are. Don't go chasing people unless you truly know they would text you back etc. Its simply not worth it in my experience.

Its all about getting a balance that works for you and prevents you from feeling or being despondent or disappointed. Hope this helps.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Sorry to hear your story, but, no matter what happen, you still have to keep moving on.

Most things in life you can get over through time! Just be patient, getting over with some things can take up to 10-20 years sometimes or more or less, but it's worth it. So try being patience sometimes. While being patience, you could distract yourself. Perhaps play games ? or find new hobbies?

Sometimes, try learning to 'Let Go' of stuffs. Humans tend to have attachment with many things in life, and when it disappear, they just couldn't let it go. So, just let go! if you can't, try to. It takes time! That's why be patience no matter what. Once you let go, you will be a whole lot different person.

Thanks for all your kind replies.

I think deep down what hurts is, I am 45 and spent all of my life single. Had a few odds dates here and there which didn't account for much. There have been literally dozens of women who I have liked but none of them ever liked me back.

So in the last 15 years or so I have never really thought I would meet anybody, I live my life, go to work, play golf, no friends, I was happy enough.

What happened gave me the feeling of 'having someone', 'somebody actually cares', 'somebody likes me', 'somebody can be bothered to send me a text and ask me how I am' - I could hardly believe it. I mentioned to my brother that I couldn't believe someone was into me so much and he said 'maybe it's your time'

But it's over now and back to my old life of no texts, messages, just plodding on, keeping myself occupied. I don't actually want to meet people now, just want to be by myself.

Triple, me and you are so alike, even though I am 31, turning 32 in November. Most of what you are going through I have been through. Relationships included. Reaching out to people I also got ignored and shunned and I could hardly think of good reason 'not' to reply (it takes 2 minutes to reply to a text or an email, even if you reply to say you are busy, you do so out politeness and common courtesy and decency)

Also been there in your thoughts with meeting people thinking people respected me, felt like I found a friend and kaboom! it all went to complete shite.

I'm not saying the following is right for you but neither do I want to discourage you either, but yeah I've stopped reaching out to people here apart from family, this forum and 2 friends on Skype. I like to think to people should be able to deal with their own problems as they are 'grown up' enough to do so. I refrain from talking to people myself about my issues as I know I have the relevant places to do so such as this site. Also the anonymousy works wonders for me too.

In my book and how I now see it, there should be no reaching out' rather these people should ask if they can talk to you about things if they want to be around you or need you. That's how I see it anyway.

I wouldn't say give up but perhaps just tell people in person if they need you, they know where you are. Don't go chasing people unless you truly know they would text you back etc. Its simply not worth it in my experience.

Its all about getting a balance that works for you and prevents you from feeling or being despondent or disappointed. Hope this helps.

Thanks

Not really on here but in real life, I find a lot of people simply don't reply to my messages or texts. When you think how little effort it takes, a few seconds, they can't be bothered. On the other hand, some people are probably happy they see a message from me. It's hard to decide what to do.

 

[Retrospective81]

Sorry to hear your story, but, no matter what happen, you still have to keep moving on.

Most things in life you can get over through time! Just be patient, getting over with some things can take up to 10-20 years sometimes or more or less, but it's worth it. So try being patience sometimes. While being patience, you could distract yourself. Perhaps play games ? or find new hobbies?

Sometimes, try learning to 'Let Go' of stuffs. Humans tend to have attachment with many things in life, and when it disappear, they just couldn't let it go. So, just let go! if you can't, try to. It takes time! That's why be patience no matter what. Once you let go, you will be a whole lot different person.

Thanks for all your kind replies.

I think deep down what hurts is, I am 45 and spent all of my life single. Had a few odds dates here and there which didn't account for much. There have been literally dozens of women who I have liked but none of them ever liked me back.

So in the last 15 years or so I have never really thought I would meet anybody, I live my life, go to work, play golf, no friends, I was happy enough.

What happened gave me the feeling of 'having someone', 'somebody actually cares', 'somebody likes me', 'somebody can be bothered to send me a text and ask me how I am' - I could hardly believe it. I mentioned to my brother that I couldn't believe someone was into me so much and he said 'maybe it's your time'

But it's over now and back to my old life of no texts, messages, just plodding on, keeping myself occupied. I don't actually want to meet people now, just want to be by myself.

Triple, me and you are so alike, even though I am 31, turning 32 in November. Most of what you are going through I have been through. Relationships included. Reaching out to people I also got ignored and shunned and I could hardly think of good reason 'not' to reply (it takes 2 minutes to reply to a text or an email, even if you reply to say you are busy, you do so out politeness and common courtesy and decency)

Also been there in your thoughts with meeting people thinking people respected me, felt like I found a friend and kaboom! it all went to complete shite.

I'm not saying the following is right for you but neither do I want to discourage you either, but yeah I've stopped reaching out to people here apart from family, this forum and 2 friends on Skype. I like to think to people should be able to deal with their own problems as they are 'grown up' enough to do so. I refrain from talking to people myself about my issues as I know I have the relevant places to do so such as this site. Also the anonymousy works wonders for me too.

In my book and how I now see it, there should be no reaching out' rather these people should ask if they can talk to you about things if they want to be around you or need you. That's how I see it anyway.

I wouldn't say give up but perhaps just tell people in person if they need you, they know where you are. Don't go chasing people unless you truly know they would text you back etc. Its simply not worth it in my experience.

Its all about getting a balance that works for you and prevents you from feeling or being despondent or disappointed. Hope this helps.

Thanks

Not really on here but in real life, I find a lot of people simply don't reply to my messages or texts. When you think how little effort it takes, a few seconds, they can't be bothered. On the other hand, some people are probably happy they see a message from me. It's hard to decide what to do.

I agree it does take a few seconds. I suffered from the same thing until got rid of my mobile (didn't get rid of it because of that, but for other reasons like wanting to be different, in an age of where everyone has a phone etc)

I wouldn't even try to second guess people anymore. Not worth it and it overworks the mind and emotions a lot.

If you do carry on sending messages or emails, just send it, think nothing of it, and go about the rest of your day. That's the best bet I think!

 

[The Replicated Man]

I'm not sure, to answer the thread title. Usually, I just sound time online reading political articles (which makes my issues seem smaller) or watching wrestling videos. But these are things I'll do anyway. It's really just working through the pain until that time comes and I'm over it, to be honest.