Starting over in NYC

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

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New member
Feb 28, 2023
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I started writing this post last night, to introduce myself, and it woumd up wayyy too long. I tend to write a lot, people complain, even friends, the very few that are left.

I'll start over. Hi. I'm Mike, 43, from, NJ originally, until my mother passed away, cancer, in October 2021. Kind of been bouncing around the country since. 8 months in Montana, then, a week in San Diego, a week in Florida. Now, I'm in NYC. In a homeless shelter, but that's a good thing crazy as it sounds. Things could be worse.

20 years of no treatment. After 9/11, alot went downhill, and it took me a long time to climb out of that. Um, since October of last year, my life's a mess. My landlord in Montana voided my lease, because he couldn't wait to sell it, because my sister moved out, because he could. Landed on my feet for a while in Florida. A long time friend there, let me stay in his house. Then, I left, because he was smoking meth and lying to me about things. Ex friend now.

Um. 4 psych hospitalizations since October. One in Montana 3 in NJ. Wound up here in NYC because NJ shelter system had no room, told me to go to Philly. I came to NYC instead. Never actually lived here before, but still feels like coming home. I love this city. Have a lot of history here. Was here when 9/11 happened. Was here at the heart of Occupy Wall St, slept in the park, marched and organized with them for years afterwards.

I live here now. I always wanted to but never did. And I, couldn't stand to be anywhere else right now. I'm basically starting my life over these past months. Everything I now own, all that's left, fits in a few bags. My brother, hates me, feelings mutual, my sister hates me, or just doesn't care just doesn't have the thought to.

I'm actually doing ok, believe it or not. I'm on meds, first time in 20 years, since Oct now, and its helping, like really is. Like maybe none of the meds I tried before years ago ever really worked. And, I really didn't even, notice, how much anxiety I had, until they tried a different med and it came back.

I have doctor's here now, I have Medicaid now, for the first time ever. I have a case worker, and a plan to move into a residential housing program within a matter of weeks now. And I'm doing all this, with their help, but basically on my own. My whole spent, trys to find the word I'm looking for, my problems, my health, my happiness, my life, under my own doing, always got put on hold or put off to help with my mother, my sister, my brother, now both have, selfishly hurt me, stole from me, discarded me. Some of it my fault surely, but, they were, are, hurtful.

I've let my depression and my, unquiet mind, destroy my life, and it's far from the first time. I'm putting myself first now, and absolutely committed to my treatment and recovery, sounds practiced, but I, actually am.

I joined this forum, after googling for some forums to join. Something, just to talk to some people, not exactly making friends in here, in the shelter. It's it's not dangerous or anything that people think it would be, I'm just, quiet and, don't know what to say to people, so I talk to hardly anyone cept a few.

Well, that came out long. Hi everyone.


Abandon your fear. Look forward.
Aug 3, 2022
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My Inner World
Hello my friend welcome to the site if ever you wish to chat feel free to reach out to me any time I wish you all the best. :)

constant stranger

Well-known member
Oct 8, 2013
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mid west USA
Hello Mike179. Congratulations on having survived what life has dished out to you. May your journey from now on be everything you wish for. I hope this forum is good for helped me through some dark zones a few years ago.