How do you meet someone? How do you be with someone?

[theraab]

Okay so... To be honest i don't really have funny stories. Okay well even when i do, i don't know how to tell them. I could tell a story and everyone would miss the punchline. Same story can be told by someone else, but they'd be able to punch the message across and get people laughing.

I don't konw how to tell stories =/

And about the coffee thing .. how do u make it show that you're interested in her and not just being friendly?

Also, how do u get her interested in u?

and during the date or whatever... what are good things to talk about that gets her more interested... and at the same time she knows you're interested in her as well?

If by just a 2 minute convo and asking her out... well all she has to go off is my looks... which i fail at. So it's not worked out..

I want to know how to get her interested so she'll even give me a chance to ask her out and take her out.....

I can't help you with being a better story teller or your comic timing.

As far as your looks, I don't know how bad looking you are, but I would recommend doing the best with what you have - maybe go to a good hair stylist and see what she thinks would look good on you - get some new cloths, and a nice cologne (make sure the cologne smells good on you, because if you're like me, cologne smells way different when it hits your skin).

I don't know of any particular topic that will make her interested (I know ones that will turn her off, but you probably are aware of those too) - but the more confidence you show in what you are talking about, the better off you are. When I was in college I was a Philosophy major, and girls in my class that didn't look my way at the beginning of the semester were definitely looking my way by the end of the semester, because I was confident and competent in the subject. But regardless of the subject, you should talk with confidence and don't speak timidly. When you walk, walk with your head up and shoulders back - again, these are things that you need to do all the time, so you become comfortable with doing them. Make good eye contact when talking to her, but don't just stare because that's creepy. By the way, (SEXISM ALERT) the one winning conversation topic with almost any woman is a conversation about her.

It does help if you tease her about something that is only mildly embarrassing that she mentions, like, "I can't believe you like Coldplay. So you're the one that is buying their albums...finally I meet you" - obviously, don't overdo it, and if your comic timing is horrible, don't try it.

As far as getting a girl interested to begin with, that is really going to depend on what you are like and what you're looking for. But, generally, you either need to be highly competent at something to make yourself look like the master of something, or you need to be bold in the way you carry yourself.

---

Oh, and as Wadokai said, if there are any women out there with anything to add, please....

 

[LonelyInAtl]

As far as getting a girl interested to begin with, that is really going to depend on what you are like and what you're looking for. But, generally, you either need to be highly competent at something to make yourself look like the master of something, or you need to be bold in the way you carry yourself.

I'm VERY competent in computer science. I have a masters degree and am applying to be a doctorial candidate. Not sure that would exactly get or hold a woman's attention! LOL

 

[perfanoff]

As far as getting a girl interested to begin with, that is really going to depend on what you are like and what you're looking for. But, generally, you either need to be highly competent at something to make yourself look like the master of something, or you need to be bold in the way you carry yourself.

I'm VERY competent in computer science. I have a masters degree and am applying to be a doctorial candidate. Not sure that would exactly get or hold a woman's attention! LOL

Women and men, they may get the idea you're "very smart" and/or that you "make some decent money" but the conversation topic, yeah it's pretty useless.

Women are also extremely misrepresented in computer science so good luck impressing anyone with your actual ideas and knowledge in the topic, lol.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

As far as getting a girl interested to begin with, that is really going to depend on what you are like and what you're looking for. But, generally, you either need to be highly competent at something to make yourself look like the master of something, or you need to be bold in the way you carry yourself.

I'm VERY competent in computer science. I have a masters degree and am applying to be a doctorial candidate. Not sure that would exactly get or hold a woman's attention! LOL

Women and men, they may get the idea you're "very smart" and/or that you "make some decent money" but the conversation topic, yeah it's pretty useless.

Women are also extremely misrepresented in computer science so good luck impressing anyone with your actual ideas and knowledge in the topic, lol.

I'm pretty screwed then. LOL I have no "game" to carry myself. I sometimes wish I could trade a few IQ points for more confidence with women!

 

[Trent]

confidence comes from being detached from the outcome

neediness comes from being attached to the outcome

marinate on that

approach a girl, smile huge, say stupid honeysuckle, stand close to her, lock gazes...AS IF YOU JUST DON'T GIVE A fresia

she'll be in the back of your cadillac in no time

the reason: you don't give a fresia

means you aren't chasing her

means you must have "social value"

means that you are worth pursuing (aka: working for)

people value things that they have to work for

---

it's not your looks

it's your social value (or perceived social value)

social value can come from:

- looks
- smarts
- ethics/morals
- education
- income
- people skills / confidence
- social circle / social proof (other people think he's cool...i'll think he's cool too then)

 

[LonelyInAtl]

it's not your looks

it's your social value (or perceived social value)

social value can come from:

- looks
- smarts
- ethics/morals
- education
- income
- people skills / confidence
- social circle / social proof (other people think he's cool...i'll think he's cool too then)

- Not so much
- Genius IQ (tested)
- Good
- Masters Degree
- 6 figures
- Very Lacking
- Acceptable

Too bad an excess of some can't offset the lack of others!

 

[Trent]

it's not your looks

it's your social value (or perceived social value)

social value can come from:

- looks
- smarts
- ethics/morals
- education
- income
- people skills / confidence
- social circle / social proof (other people think he's cool...i'll think he's cool too then)

- Not so much
- Genius IQ (tested)
- Good
- Masters Degree
- 6 figures
- Very Lacking
- Acceptable

Too bad an excess of some can't offset the lack of others!

you're wrong

all the literature on attraction/dating proves what i am saying

i'm not pulling this out of my ass

you have your one story of failure

many, many other guys who have learned how to capitalize on their good points have had dramatic success with the other sex

don't take my word for it, look into pickup arts and attraction materials

some of the actual master pua's are ugly as fresia and fat

---

you're problem isn't that your positives don't get you a woman

it's that you haven't learned how to capitalize on your positives in order to generate attraction

you have a lot going for you based on that list

 

[Walley]

i would suggest talking about anyhting but your education or career asperations until it comes up. if you talk about other interests and hobbies and seem to be into lots of things.. and then they find out what you do it will be "wow"
girls do find intelligence attractive but not all by itself.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

I do know one women I'm interested in is a big SciFi nerd like me. LOL She's definitely NOT your classic nerdy girl though. She's about an 8-9 out of 10. Personally, I think she's WAY out of my league.

 

[perfanoff]

So far you said that you're smart and rich, and that she's good-looking. What brings you to think that she's somehow "better" than you?

 

[theraab]

I do know one women I'm interested in is a big SciFi nerd like me. LOL She's definitely NOT your classic nerdy girl though. She's about an 8-9 out of 10. Personally, I think she's WAY out of my league.

Don't assume she is out of your league - I've posted this story before, but:
http://www.alonelylife.com/thread-ladies-how-do-you-show-you-are-interested?pid=409767#pid409767

Being a SciFi nerd like you gives you something to talk to her about. And like Perfanoff said Money + Brains = Looks (actually Money + Brains > Looks but, whatever).

 

[LonelyInAtl]

So far you said that you're smart and rich, and that she's good-looking. What brings you to think that she's somehow "better" than you?

She's WAY hot....Gorgeous face, nice smile, mesmerizing eyes, smokin' hot body. She could have her pick of guys based on that alone.

She's also educated (a med tech) and can carry on a great conversation. This is one of the main reasons I'm attracted to her.

And she has the cutest Tennessee accent!

 

[theraab]

And she has the cutest Tennessee accent!

Not to get off topic, but what the hell is a Tennessee accent? Is that slang for something, or can people from one part of the south distinguish states by accents?

 

[LonelyInAtl]

And she has the cutest Tennessee accent!

Not to get off topic, but what the hell is a Tennessee accent? Is that slang for something, or can people from one part of the south distinguish states by accents?

LOL...it's just a southern accent but I know she grew up in Tennessee.

 

[theraab]

Have you teased her about how strange her Tenn. accent sounds? - That would be a great place for a little playful ribbing.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

Nope, I haven't.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

I do know one women I'm interested in is a big SciFi nerd like me. LOL She's definitely NOT your classic nerdy girl though. She's about an 8-9 out of 10. Personally, I think she's WAY out of my league.

I know I'm not one to really talk on this, but if you don't classify her "out of 10" (which is a little unattractive in itself!) or think in "leagues", I imagine you'd be able to go out with her pretty effectively.

No one is "out of your league" if you have all the qualities you mentioned, it's just a confidence thing

 

[perfanoff]

I do know one women I'm interested in is a big SciFi nerd like me. LOL She's definitely NOT your classic nerdy girl though. She's about an 8-9 out of 10. Personally, I think she's WAY out of my league.

I know I'm not one to really talk on this, but if you don't classify her "out of 10" (which is a little unattractive in itself!) or think in "leagues", I imagine you'd be able to go out with her pretty effectively.

No one is "out of your league" if you have all the qualities you mentioned, it's just a confidence thing

Take off the rose-colored glasses, mister.

 

[alexcmons]

Im in the same mode. First don't get afraid of rejection, second what I'm doing is letting them to come to me. I go with the flow it sucks and it takes time.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

I've never, EVER, had a woman approach me.