How do you reciprocate interest from a girl?

[the-alchemist]

This one has been a tough cookie for me to crack. There have been a few times where a girl has been interested in me. I have also been interested in her but i fall into some sort of paralysis. Because of my messed up childhood I still have trust issues with people, and it is very hard for me to open up unless she really flirts alot with me.

Because of that, I have come off as either too agressive or too disinterested, or in most cases, too paralyzed to do anything. Instead I just sit there and overanalyze the situation, trying to figure out if she really likes me or not.

If I know that a girl likes me and I like her too, I just get paralyzed. Do I show interest? Should I restrain myself? Should I take the initiative? All these questions run through my head

It ******* sucks, because I've had such golden opportunities that bit the dust because I dropped the ball

 

[ChiCowboy]

This one has been a tough cookie for me to crack. There have been a few times where a girl has been interested in me. I have also been interested in her but i fall into some sort of paralysis. Because of my messed up childhood I still have trust issues with people, and it is very hard for me to open up unless she really flirts alot with me.

Because of that, I have come off as either too agressive or too disinterested, or in most cases, too paralyzed to do anything. Instead I just sit there and overanalyze the situation, trying to figure out if she really likes me or not.

If I know that a girl likes me and I like her too, I just get paralyzed. Do I show interest? Should I restrain myself? Should I take the initiative? All these questions run through my head

It ******* sucks, because I've had such golden opportunities that bit the dust because I dropped the ball

I'm very familiar with the "paralysis feeling." Don't sweat it. For me, it's because I feel uncomfortable about something. If you're sure the discomfort is coming from within yourself (as opposed to an outside force, such as the time, place, situation...), stop intellectualizing and just do something. Hell, walk up and kiss her! (I'm only half-kidding. Try it sometime.)

 

[edgecrusher]

i know how you feel man. i am the same way. i have no idea what to say or do. it makes me wonder how many potential opportunities ive missed.

 

[ChiCowboy]

i know how you feel man. i am the same way. i have no idea what to say or do. it makes me wonder how many potential opportunities ive missed.

Stop wondering about what you may have missed and think about what may yet come to be. Easy to say, I know, but it's really that simple. You must remember this about women: There are billions of them.

 

[the-alchemist]

Billions of women, yes. Unfortunately you don't get billions of opportunities. Especially when you don't have many friends or any good connections and your self-esteem is low.

It is frustrating because there's nothing wrong with my looks. I'm not repulsive or anything like that. So it's as if you got the tools but you don't know how to use them

 

[ShybutHi]

This one has been a tough cookie for me to crack. There have been a few times where a girl has been interested in me. I have also been interested in her but i fall into some sort of paralysis. Because of my messed up childhood I still have trust issues with people, and it is very hard for me to open up unless she really flirts alot with me.

Because of that, I have come off as either too agressive or too disinterested, or in most cases, too paralyzed to do anything. Instead I just sit there and overanalyze the situation, trying to figure out if she really likes me or not.

If I know that a girl likes me and I like her too, I just get paralyzed. Do I show interest? Should I restrain myself? Should I take the initiative? All these questions run through my head

It ******* sucks, because I've had such golden opportunities that bit the dust because I dropped the ball

This is just how i react aswell and it is indeed very annoying, makes you feel pathetic sometime's doesnt it? It does with me anyway... :club:

 

[kwilczynski]

Billions of women, yes. Unfortunately you don't get billions of opportunities. Especially when you don't have many friends or any good connections and your self-esteem is low.

This is extremely well put, indeed.

KW

 

[BUFFALOBT]

Cut through it all. Here's what I mean...suck it up...do whatever you need to do...but get yourself to a point where you are going to let it all hang out there and...get ready...ask her if she wants to do "something sometime?"!

Then...shut up and wait for the rejection. If it doesn't come...then get ready for date night.

And if she does reject you...it's not the end of your world.

I used to hate the games so much, that I would drive girls away with my intense honesty about how I felt about them. I was doing it as a way to protect myself...reasoning that I'd rather end something quickly if she didn't feel the same...than continue with the possibility of making it worse down the road.

Not sure this helps...good luck.

 

[VanillaCreme]

It is frustrating because there's nothing wrong with my looks. I'm not repulsive or anything like that. So it's as if you got the tools but you don't know how to use them

Right, so if you physically look fine, what else is there? Personality? Chemistry between you and a female? Way too many people are concentrated on the looks aspect of it, and not enough on the personality, imo.