how long does it take to form a friendship?

[nietzsche's lover]

It's a trite and not well formulated question, but still of great interest for me. I'm also thinking about online or long distance relationships mainly, as 'real' friends seem to be out of reach for me at the moment.

 

[theSmokingRabbit]

I have a supplemental question to go with this. I can already foresee a few answers that are going to be given concerning feelings or emotions so I wonder.

What about those of us who don't do too well at recognizing or even manifesting those 'feelings' that allow you to know when the time is good/bad?

Apologies if you feel I'm trying to hijack your thread Nietzsche.

I'm just curious as well.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I'm not sure, I think every friendship is different?

 

[Callie]

I would say it varies depending on the people involved, sometimes friendship can form almost immediately, there's just a click and you feel like you've known each other forever.
Other times, it takes longer, someone dealing with trust issues or whatever will require more time to get to know someone.

So it's hard to answer that question, honestly, there's really no way way to answer that question specifically.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Depends on your definition of "friendship".

If you mean the sort of:

"Hey Steve."

"Hey Bob."

"Nice weather, ain't it?"

"Yup. You doing anything that might be useful in continuing this rubbish conversation?"

"Nah. Catch you around."

"Kay, see you."

Sort of "friends", that takes about two minutes and is easy with almost everyone.

If you mean the sort of "Will drive through a hailstorm to help you out" or "Doesn't mind sitting quietly with a beer" sort of friendship, I can't say because they seem impossible to get

So as above, varies, by quite a huge margin.

 

[nietzsche's lover]

What about those of us who don't do too well at recognizing or even manifesting those 'feelings' that allow you to know when the time is good/bad?

Apologies if you feel I'm trying to hijack your thread Nietzsche.

No need to apologise. I'd like to know the answer to such stated question too.

Thanks Soph, Callie and the S-Man. I can imagine that it's hard to answer this question, therefore, I appreciate your replies even more.

 

[Badjedidude]

It takes as long or as short as you want it to.

 

[guld]

Yeah, as some as already said - I think it's all about the feelings. If you feel you're close, then you are . I've had that instant friendship thing with a guy recently - feels like a really old, good friend, mostly. Awesome, besides the fact that each other time we meet I freeze up totally. Have nothing to say. Run away and hide, sort of. But each other time is great, as said

---

What about those of us who don't do too well at recognizing or even manifesting those 'feelings' that allow you to know when the time is good/bad?

Do you mean good/bad in terms of a whole relationship, or only in the moment of a conversation?

 

[nerdygirl]

5 months, 28 days, 6 hours, and 59 seconds. Give or take an hour.

 

[guld]

5 months, 28 days, 6 hours, and 59 seconds. Give or take an hour.

Haha

 

[septicemia]

There isnt a set timeline, and there are so many levels of friendship. For me, forming friendships is MUCH harder to do online. I find it takes a lot longer to get a feel for who the person is over the internet. My face to face friendships form much faster, because I generally like most people, and its just easier to connect to people face to face.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

IDK...some poeple Just arnt going to like me...

But as far as women are consern...I always get the pretty girls or the prettiest
one out of the bunch will be more friendly to me towards me.
Depending of the situation...if Im avaliable or she's avaliable we kind da go
from there. That's how it's always been for me. Sometimes we'll just
stay friends...but non of that emotional tampon stuff.
The women will pretty much give me signs right off the bat or I'll
let them know where I stand.

Freinds of the same gender works in the sameway.
Some people are just too bussied. Some people are just as clingie to
me as the opposite sex.

Some people i know it's the slow road.
Others its right off the bat.

But Im a kind of person that will onlyy allow certain into my life to begin with.
It also depends on what my options are. If i live in a big city..there's more
people I'll run into...so I'll get more picky.

If i live in a smaller community...Ill have to do the best with what i have.


Face to face interaction works better for me.

 

[Todd]

It's a trite and not well formulated question, but still of great interest for me. I'm also thinking about online or long distance relationships mainly, as 'real' friends seem to be out of reach for me at the moment.

I think that some people hit it off real quick and some just have to grow to that trusting level. Either way, once that person is in your life and you have that trusting friendship, the sky's the limit. You have someone who you can talk to and share ideas with and have someone who will be there for you.

 

[nerdygirl]

I have this one friend... We were acquaintances because we were in class together. Then one day, I was standing somewhere and she didn't realize I was right there, and accidentally kicked me in the head. We both cracked up and she said, "Okay. We have to decide now if we are friends or enemies, 'cause you have to be one or the other after I kick you in the head."

 

[Ak5]

I'd say about 1-2 months.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I think it depends on how much time you spend with the person and what your perception of friendship is. Some people just click right off the bat, or have enough in common to share more than they would with others. They might have an instant friendship, where as with another person it builds over time.

 

[nietzsche's lover]

Thank you all for replies!

My experience is similar to septicemia's. It's much harder and takes longer to form friendships online or over long distances. It has happened to me once (or twice), when there was just a click, as Callie said. Unfortunately, knowing that someone lives thousands miles away, leaves me in constant agony over the thought that I may wait for years to meet them. I'm afraid that physical contact (please do not read: sex) seems to be an integral part of my relationships. Apart from that, there is a whole lot of uncertainty, more questions than answers, and this strange feeling that hours of waiting for another message turn into days. I bet it's time to give up