How to best support a depressed girlfriend?

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mr p

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Howdy! :cool:
My girlfriend of 4-5 months is clinically depressed; I think she's been on medication for a couple of years, and she meets with a caretaker at least once a week. She's a nice girl most of the time, but now and then she gets really low and hates herself; sometimes she even wants to hurt herself, to kill herself. At those moments, I have to restrain her by force. :(
My experience with stuff like this stretches only to my semi-depression I had before, which wasn't to this degree at all and I really don't know how to handle it. I try to tell her that's she's better than she thinks, but she won't hear that. So I guess that's not the way to go, I'd better just try to get her distracted.
She's got problems with feeling worthless and letting her imagination run free, plus, she hardly ever wants to do anything, and once when she was low, she told me she wasn't worthy of sexual pleasure; she thinks it's disgusting for her to enjoy it.
I'm mostly writing this because it lets me structure my thoughts a bit more, and hopefully you guys will have some input! :)
 

freedom

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i'm sorry to hear about your situation. i've had two girlfriends that were depressed. i've been depressed for about ten years now, but this last year i've made some great progress and i think i'm finally coming around. i'm sorry to say that there isn't much that you can do to help her out besides being there for her and loving and caring for her. the cure to her depression lies within her. she has to decide that she wants to be better. this is how i've slowly begun to cure my own depression. it's hard enough making the decision because one thing depression does to you is make you feel worthless. not only that, she has to actually fight it by making changes that will spawn feelings of self worth and happiness. it's very hard to beat depression. i don't believe in anti-depressants or in psychologist, which is why i've never asked for their help. we as humans are capable of doing anything we can dream of. i one day made a decision that i didn't want to be depressed anymore, and with the help of friends and family, i've begun to live a much happier life. depression is all in your head. she has to decide to defeat it, though it's not the easiest decision to make for someone in her state.
 
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evanescencefan91

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*hugs mr.p*

I'm very sorry to hear your girlfriend is having problems. I really don't know what you should do if her problem is as serious as it sounds. It sounds like she needs to be under constant supervision. Does her docter know it is this bad.

sounds abd but we learned in our psyche class that when it is done right elctro shock therapy is actually very effective at treating depression.

If you talk to a professional psychaitrist you should tell them about this.

I know it must be hard on you, but if you love her I think maybe the best thing you can do is just to be there for her. Tell her that you love her and that she is worth of love and to feel good/pleasure. give her her space if she needs some. But ya just be there for her.

*hugs*
 

mr p

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freedom said:

Yeah, I guess I should try just being there, telling her how much I love her. Maybe push her to try new things that she might be good at? Getting good at stuff -> better confidence -> lower depression, am I right?

Vladimir Putin said:
Buy her a puppy. I'm serious. It will work.

She's already got one, and sure; it's helping, but it's also limiting her life. Dogs need a lot of care, and you can't always bring them.

evanescencefan91 said:
*hugs mr.p*

I'm very sorry to hear your girlfriend is having problems. I really don't know what you should do if her problem is as serious as it sounds. It sounds like she needs to be under constant supervision. Does her docter know it is this bad.

sounds abd but we learned in our psyche class that when it is done right elctro shock therapy is actually very effective at treating depression.

If you talk to a professional psychaitrist you should tell them about this.

I know it must be hard on you, but if you love her I think maybe the best thing you can do is just to be there for her. Tell her that you love her and that she is worth of love and to feel good/pleasure. give her her space if she needs some. But ya just be there for her.

*hugs*

Maybe I exaggerated a bit--I don't really think she could kill herself other than by mistake. Like taking a lot of pills and then regretting it.
These attacks of depression are of limited time, and I just wished I could preempt them somehow.

Thanks a lot for your support! :)
 
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