How to get girls attracted?

[ardour]

Love from a parent is required for children to grow into healthy adults.Same with confidence. To feel attractive or worthy usually requires some feedback. That's why telling others to "just be confident" or "love themselves first" is such worthless advice when directed at those who've experienced very little of that from others. Society basically codifies what success is, so just about everything you do to improve yourself depends on an external acknowledgement.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Love from a parent is required for children to grow into healthy adults.Same with confidence. To feel attractive or worthy usually requires some feedback. That's why telling others to "just be confident"  or "love themselves first" is such worthless advice when directed at those who's experienced very little of that from others. Society basically codifies what success is, so just about everything you do to improve yourself depends on an external acknowledgement.

No offense, but I call bullshit.  Parents don't decide who you are when you grow up.  YOU do.  I know quite a few people who had shitty parents....some even had abusive parents and they are "healthy" adults.  You can choose to be whoever you want.  You can change who you are if you aren't happy with yourself.  That is ALWAYS a possible, but only if you are willing to do the work it takes to get there. 

I also know people who had loving parents and they are definitely not "healthy" adults.  So yeah, it's just more excuses.

 

[Xpendable]

Now you need to know like a billion more people to make it significant.

 

[bleed_the_freak]

Impress girls with ultra-tight man skinny jeans!

 

[Azariah]

The thread subject says it all. How to do that? I'm trying currently with different girls and sometimes work through conversation sometimes not , but i want to get more success in meeting girls and dating them. Maybe some of your stories would help.

This just my advice: your first problem is in the question itself. you used the word girl in plural, that is girls. girls in general aren't looking for a player, they want someone who is committed, loyal, and would treat them with respect, someone who would never hurt them intentionally.

so the question you should be asking is "how do i get the girl i like to like me back?".

answer, well, that's a more difficult question.

i think first is, don't worry about the girl yet. first you have to like yourself, after all, how can she love you if you don't even feel good about yourself?

once you've done that, well, really the rest is up to her.

remember you can't force someone to be attracted to you. 

relationships is a two way road, so to speak. and that's true not just with girls but with everyone, friends, family, etc.

even though the girl you like isn't guaranteed to return her love, your chances of receiving it has increased dramatically. plus you'll learn to like yourself too.

hope this helped ya!

 

[bleed_the_freak]

I impress girls with my Squidward outfit

 

[ardour]

Arrgh!

 

[TheRealCallie]

Now you need to know like a billion more people to make it significant.

If you would bother to LOOK, you would find quite a few stories that tell you the same thing.  Since you people like celebrities so **** much, Drew Barrymore was abused as a child.  So was Bill Clinton.  But you just like to try to make everything I say irrelevant, because you would rather I not know what I'm talking about.  I understand.  It must suck to know that it's actually possible.  Keep trying, you will make it if you really want to.  <3

 

[DarkSelene]

Arrgh!

Indeed.

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@TheRealCallie
His comment is not a personal vendetta against you, it's a comment about your use of anecdotal evidence as arguments. We're usually observing and discussing society as a whole, or large portions of it, and you personally knowing this or that person doesn't really add to your argument or disprove anyone else's. It's not exactly counter productive, but definitely not very useful.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Yeah and simply not wanting to believe something doesn't make that something true either, yet people still try, now don't they?  

As I said, it doesn't matter if I  personally know people.  It's pretty well documented that you can grow up with shitty parents and have a good life....if one bothers to look.  But of course that won't happen, because holy honeysuckle, that might change EVERYTHING.  

If you want to live a miserable life, trying to blame everyone in the world for your problems, go right ahead.  But until you decide to start looking at things differently, until you decide to change your own honeysuckle, it will most likely always stay the same.  You don't get anything by only bitching and whining and passing the blame, you actually have to DO something. 

*Generalized "you," btw...*

 

[kamya]

If you want to live a miserable life, trying to blame everyone in the world for your problems, go right ahead.  But until you decide to start looking at things differently, until you decide to change your own honeysuckle, it will most likely always stay the same.  You don't get anything by only bitching and whining and passing the blame, you actually have to DO something. 

In the words of the wise J.D., "I agrizzle."

 

[DarkSelene]

Yeah and simply not wanting to believe something doesn't make that something true either, yet people still try, now don't they?  

As I said, it doesn't matter if I  personally know people.  It's pretty well documented that you can grow up with shitty parents and have a good life....if one bothers to look.  But of course that won't happen, because holy honeysuckle, that might change EVERYTHING.  

If you want to live a miserable life, trying to blame everyone in the world for your problems, go right ahead.  But until you decide to start looking at things differently, until you decide to change your own honeysuckle, it will most likely always stay the same.  You don't get anything by only bitching and whining and passing the blame, you actually have to DO something. 

*Generalized "you," btw...*

I got it.
Personally, I just think your argument is straying from the object of the conversation.

Love from a parent is required for children to grow into healthy adults.Same with confidence. To feel attractive or worthy usually requires some feedback. That's why telling others to "just be confident" or "love themselves first" is such worthless advice when directed at those who've experienced very little of that from others. Society basically codifies what success is, so just about everything you do to improve yourself depends on an external acknowledgement.

Now I understand the point you guys are trying to make -- is it still an achievement if you don't get any praise for it? (Excuse the bad vocabulary) As in, have you personally achieved anything if what you wanted with this improvement didn't really happen? Or, how are you improving if society doesn't respond to it? Are any of these ways of putting it even close? Idk, I think I got the idea, it's just hard to put into words -- not my first language!

To answer I'd say it is an achievement and maybe the main goal isn't as easy to achieve as the smaller personal upgrades, but you can feel the achievement without external acknowledgement. Society does codify what's success, but you don't need its praise to get there or to know that you're there. You need the praise or acknowledgement to feel like you're worthy, but not to know that you are.

Hm, I am naive.

 

[ardour]

Yeah and simply not wanting to believe something doesn't make that something true either, yet people still try, now don't they?  

As I said, it doesn't matter if I  personally know people.  It's pretty well documented that you can grow up with shitty parents and have a good life....if one bothers to look.  But of course that won't happen, because holy honeysuckle, that might change EVERYTHING.  

If you want to live a miserable life, trying to blame everyone in the world for your problems, go right ahead.  But until you decide to start looking at things differently, until you decide to change your own honeysuckle, it will most likely always stay the same.  You don't get anything by only bitching and whining and passing the blame, you actually have to DO something. 

Plenty coast along with minimal effort, yet find themselves with friends and an SO as an adult. And that probably describes you to some extent.  Kids, child support/alimony from a wealthy ex, plus men interested in dating you. Yet others who have careers, study,  make the effort to join interest groups and socialize still end up alone and we’re supposed to believe you earned this while they didn't. Too obnoxious.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Plenty live banal lives coasting along with minimal effort, yet find themselves with friends and an SO as an adult. And that probably describes you to some extent.  Kids, child support/alimony from a wealthy ex, plus men interested in dating you. Yet others who have careers, study,  make the effort to join interest groups and socialize end up with none of this andd we’re supposed to believe that you somehow earned it, while they didn't.

It's like some obnoxious libertarian labelling all the poor lazy.

First, I don't get, nor do I want, alimony.  I could have gotten it, I didn't want it.  The reason I take child support.  Oh, maybe because I pay for EVERYTHING.  Medical bills aren't cheap in America.  Neither are clothes and food, so yeah, I take it, but I certainly don't spend it on myself.  And I'm working on getting myself self sufficient so I can transfer it directly into my children's bank accounts, not mine. 
My ex is NOT wealthy.  Never has been.  He could be pretty well off, but he chooses to blow his money on stupid honeysuckle.  I have more money than he does and that does NOT include the child support I get.  In fact, HE owes ME money because over the years, it's been ME who has loaned him money for various things. 

So wait, I don't have a career, study or put effort into socializing?  Yeah, that's why I volunteer and I'm on the PTA at my kids' school and I go to support groups and whatever else I have time for? 
Don't you dare tell me I didn't earn what I have, because I can assure you that I most certainly did. 
As for the people who don't have what I have.  As I have said a million times before, you can't honestly expect to be negative as hell and get very far.  I tried that whole "blame the world" thing.  It didn't do honeysuckle except make me wallow in my miserable existence even more than I was.  I owned my faults, I changed what I could and I made it work any way I knew how.  I struggled and I failed a lot, but I never gave up.  It took me YEARS of seriously hard work to get to where I am now, so yeah, I most definitely earned what I have. 
You, them and whoever else whines and blames others.  I don't know, because I don't know you.  But what I can tell you is that I 100% believe that nearly everyone (sorry, serial killers and the like, you don't count) deserves to be, at the very least, content in their lives.  But, it certainly won't be handed to them on a silver platter.  Do the work necessary.  If that doesn't work, try something else until you find something that does.  And don't spend years saying the same things over and over again like that is going to change anything.

 

[kamya]

Reminds me of this.

 

[DarkSelene]

I owned my faults, I changed what I could and I made it work any way I knew how.  I struggled and I failed a lot, but I never gave up.  It took me YEARS of seriously hard work to get to where I am now, so yeah, I most definitely earned what I have.

I understand the argument that it's easier for some, that you can be dealt incredibly shitty cards, but I have to give it up to you because, yes, it's possible to change and make it better. Maybe never as well as whatever celebrity best looking person on the planet, but definitely better than what they've been dealt.
The argument shouldn't be how well off you start, but how you finish. If trying too many times didn't work and you feel like you can't anymore, then you won't get far but at least you know...
Life is unfair. But, to you, is it worth it?

 

[Paraiyar]

Yeah and simply not wanting to believe something doesn't make that something true either, yet people still try, now don't they?  

As I said, it doesn't matter if I  personally know people.  It's pretty well documented that you can grow up with shitty parents and have a good life....if one bothers to look.  But of course that won't happen, because holy honeysuckle, that might change EVERYTHING.  

If you want to live a miserable life, trying to blame everyone in the world for your problems, go right ahead.  But until you decide to start looking at things differently, until you decide to change your own honeysuckle, it will most likely always stay the same.  You don't get anything by only bitching and whining and passing the blame, you actually have to DO something. 

Plenty coast along with minimal effort, yet find themselves with friends and an SO as an adult. And that probably describes you to some extent.  Kids, child support/alimony from a wealthy ex, plus men interested in dating you. Yet others who have careers, study,  make the effort to join interest groups and socialize still end up alone and we’re supposed to believe you earned this while they didn't. Too obnoxious.

I have to say that why I don't agree with Callie 100% of the time, I found your post here a bit presumptuous.

 

[Xpendable]

Bill Clinton is not a healthy person.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I owned my faults, I changed what I could and I made it work any way I knew how.  I struggled and I failed a lot, but I never gave up.  It took me YEARS of seriously hard work to get to where I am now, so yeah, I most definitely earned what I have.

I understand the argument that it's easier for some, that you can be dealt incredibly shitty cards, but I have to give it up to you because, yes, it's possible to change and make it better. Maybe never as well as whatever celebrity best looking person on the planet, but definitely better than what they've been dealt.
The argument shouldn't be how well off you start, but how you finish. If trying too many times didn't work and you feel like you can't anymore, then you won't get far but at least you know...
Life is unfair. But, to you, is it worth it?

In addition to it not being about how well you start off, it's also not about what everyone else has.  If you are focusing so much on what "they" have and what you don't have, how can you possibly see what you could have? 

But, I don't really think about how many times you've tried, but what you've tried and how much effort you put into it.  Did you really try your damnedest?  Did you really try everything? Or was it more...."oh, I tried it for a bit and it didn't work, so no, I give up"?  I'm not saying everyone does this, but a lot of people do.  So do they really know...?

If life was fair, it would be dull, in my opinion.  I definitely haven't had an easy life and I still don't, but I do believe it is worth it.  Life has so much to offer.  You can basically have whatever you set out to get, if you go about getting it the correct way and do everything (legal, of course) you can to ensure that you do.  And if whatever goal/dream you had doesn't work out for whatever reason, it's never too late to find a new dream or goal.  Life has endless possibilities, you just have to be open to them.

 

[bleed_the_freak]

Bill Clinton is a rapist.

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