HOWDY ALL!!!

[Chitown-SHY]

I am a middle age Woman who is very SHY & has always had trouble making Friends. I am extremely SHY!!! I dropped out of High School becuse I could not stand eating lunch by Myself anymore. I finally did get My GED while in My 20"s in Night School. I am also not the most attractive Girl in the World and got picked on CONSTANTLY in Elementary School, Middle School, and My BRIEF stay in High School. I try very hard to be Friendly but still can not make Friends or have a Social Life due to My Shyness. Does Anybody out there had any similar Experiences? Thank You so much & I HOPE that I can meet some Friends out there.

 

[Unacceptance]

Hello. I countered my shyness with contempt.

 

[Brian]

Hi Chitown,
I've had some similar experiences in my life, though recently (past couple years) I'm managing to get past those particular problems of basic socialization. The true test will be when I move to yet another new place, and see if I can repeat the process with the same results.

I'll tell you the key, as I have found it, is two-fold:

1. Analyze how you present yourself (literally use a mirror to help with this) to people socially. There is easy-going, good friendly...but there is also seemingly-fake, trying-too-hard friendly. You want to go for the first one, and doing so is a combination of body/facial language, tone of voice, and #2 below.

2. Try, try, try again. I had to throw my self in to social situations to break my ice. I'm still working on being able to relate better to people closer to my own age.

Being here is great, and I'm glad to see you here. I hope to see more posts from you in the future! And if you ever need to talk to someone more 1-on-1, feel free to PM me. I'm always open, and I usually log on every day.


Edit: Or you can be like Unacceptance and hate the world. We need more people like him in society.

 

[Chitown-SHY]

Hi Chitown,
I've had some similar experiences in my life, though recently (past couple years) I'm managing to get past those particular problems of basic socialization. The true test will be when I move to yet another new place, and see if I can repeat the process with the same results.

I'll tell you the key, as I have found it, is two-fold:

1. Analyze how you present yourself (literally use a mirror to help with this) to people socially. There is easy-going, good friendly...but there is also seemingly-fake, trying-too-hard friendly. You want to go for the first one, and doing so is a combination of body/facial language, tone of voice, and #2 below.

2. Try, try, try again. I had to throw my self in to social situations to break my ice. I'm still working on being able to relate better to people closer to my own age.

Being here is great, and I'm glad to see you here. I hope to see more posts from you in the future! And if you ever need to talk to someone more 1-on-1, feel free to PM me. I'm always open, and I usually log on every day.


Edit: Or you can be like Unacceptance and hate the world. We need more people like him in society.

Thank You for welcoming Me Brian. I do appreciate it. I am trying very HARD to break out of My shell. I hve joined A sunday Brunch Group that meets the first Sunday of each Month. I do go by forcing Myself but say nothing but a quick HELLO to all. I can't bring Myself to speak after that. I will keep on attending though. Thans so much for the positibe advice.

 

[Sanal]

heyy welcome to the forum

 

[Unacceptance]

Edit: Or you can be like Unacceptance and hate the world. We need more people like him in society.

I don't hate the world, just many of the things in it.

Shyness is a defense mechanism for folks like me. Instead of being constantly humiliated by have the delusion that I might be accepted into places I probably wouldn't be happy anyway where I to stand a chance, I grew a stand offish exterior, much like a hedgehog rolling into a ball exposing only it's quills. That way while others are eaten alive, I ward off the predators.

Perfectly logical.

 

[Caesium]

If I could, I would teleport myself to Chicago and give you a hug, you sound like you could do with one right now

Welcome to A Lonely Life, I'm sure you'll have a nice time here, and meet lots of new people. I'm very shy too, but I think school in Europe is easier than going to school in America, because Americans always seem so loud and brash and forward, whereas in Europe (England in particular), people tend to be more reserved. Although maybe I am wrong, that could just be a misconception.