Okay. I'm not going to label my sexuality because I've never believed that one word could define how I feel about people. I guess I always knew that I'd fall in love with a girl at least once.
This actually happened to me before with the same person. We go to college together, so basically we're together everyday. I can totally say I consider her my best friend; she knows me, she likes what I like, we laugh together, we share passions etc. However, I think I'm not a best friend to her, I don't know why. So it was about 6 months ago when I had a really big crush on her, it lasted about 4 months and I never told anyone. I distanced myself from her, just stopped talking to her and I know it was very selfish. It was just so hard, I didn't even know what I wanted. I knew what I didn't want - to ruin our friendship and to be with her sexually. I just never felt like I want to make love to her or something like that. Basically I only wanted to be around her all the time, and lean on her, and hear her saying "I love you", which she said pretty frequently, and I know she meant it, I just don't know in what way.
She is really smart and we always hug and kiss (obviously just those little kisses nothing serious), and I love being with her. But I got out of it after a while and we started talking again, I lied to her about the reason why I stopped contacting her. And we've been talking for about 5 months again now, started to really spend time together. And I feel like I might be falling into it again. Anytime I'm with her I just want to tell her, so much, it's like a load I can't get off my chest, ever. Because I don't want to ruin the friendship. And I don't want to date her either, I just wish she loved me the way I love her..
This actually happened to me before with the same person. We go to college together, so basically we're together everyday. I can totally say I consider her my best friend; she knows me, she likes what I like, we laugh together, we share passions etc. However, I think I'm not a best friend to her, I don't know why. So it was about 6 months ago when I had a really big crush on her, it lasted about 4 months and I never told anyone. I distanced myself from her, just stopped talking to her and I know it was very selfish. It was just so hard, I didn't even know what I wanted. I knew what I didn't want - to ruin our friendship and to be with her sexually. I just never felt like I want to make love to her or something like that. Basically I only wanted to be around her all the time, and lean on her, and hear her saying "I love you", which she said pretty frequently, and I know she meant it, I just don't know in what way.
She is really smart and we always hug and kiss (obviously just those little kisses nothing serious), and I love being with her. But I got out of it after a while and we started talking again, I lied to her about the reason why I stopped contacting her. And we've been talking for about 5 months again now, started to really spend time together. And I feel like I might be falling into it again. Anytime I'm with her I just want to tell her, so much, it's like a load I can't get off my chest, ever. Because I don't want to ruin the friendship. And I don't want to date her either, I just wish she loved me the way I love her..
