Lately, I have been talking to about 3 boys through text message who wanted to be my friend. All of them hit on me, but they were hitting on other girls too so I just didn't pay any attention to what they tell me. It makes me feel like crap when guys build me up just for me to find out that they tell other girls the same thing...I have major trust issues too and I don't have any friends. I always find a way to screw up things because I don't trust other people. I'm always thinking they're lying to me or trying to play me for a fool. Even though I've been betrayed a whole lot in the past, I do take blame for the way I am. I don't talk to any of them anymore. I deleted their numbers. What hurts most is, one of them was my friend since 2008. Now, he is detached from me and joined the other crowd of folks. We used to be able to relate...Part of that might be my fault, but I don't know..I don't trust him either. I think he was liking another girl while he was making me feel bad about liking another guy...We were friends to begin with, now it seems like we can't be anything else.. So we just don't talk anymore.
Now, I'm lonely and sad. I'm trying not to get depressed. Honestly, I just feel like I'm withering away. I have nothing to do, I can't find a job. It's almost as if life wants me to suffer or something. I thought about just becoming a nun. I'm still a virgin and never had a real boyfriend, much less an "Internet" boyfriend.
I know I am pathetic. I suck. I don't fit in with society. My trust issues are wacky. I'm wacky. Not self pity, just the truth.
=(
To be honest, I don't even want to exist. Me and my life are a pain in the a**...All I can do is hope....but even that has faded...*sigh*
Now, I'm lonely and sad. I'm trying not to get depressed. Honestly, I just feel like I'm withering away. I have nothing to do, I can't find a job. It's almost as if life wants me to suffer or something. I thought about just becoming a nun. I'm still a virgin and never had a real boyfriend, much less an "Internet" boyfriend.
I know I am pathetic. I suck. I don't fit in with society. My trust issues are wacky. I'm wacky. Not self pity, just the truth.
=(
To be honest, I don't even want to exist. Me and my life are a pain in the a**...All I can do is hope....but even that has faded...*sigh*