I Am In So Much Pain

[Lena]

Lately, I have been talking to about 3 boys through text message who wanted to be my friend. All of them hit on me, but they were hitting on other girls too so I just didn't pay any attention to what they tell me. It makes me feel like crap when guys build me up just for me to find out that they tell other girls the same thing...I have major trust issues too and I don't have any friends. I always find a way to screw up things because I don't trust other people. I'm always thinking they're lying to me or trying to play me for a fool. Even though I've been betrayed a whole lot in the past, I do take blame for the way I am. I don't talk to any of them anymore. I deleted their numbers. What hurts most is, one of them was my friend since 2008. Now, he is detached from me and joined the other crowd of folks. We used to be able to relate...Part of that might be my fault, but I don't know..I don't trust him either. I think he was liking another girl while he was making me feel bad about liking another guy...We were friends to begin with, now it seems like we can't be anything else.. So we just don't talk anymore.

Now, I'm lonely and sad. I'm trying not to get depressed. Honestly, I just feel like I'm withering away. I have nothing to do, I can't find a job. It's almost as if life wants me to suffer or something. I thought about just becoming a nun. I'm still a virgin and never had a real boyfriend, much less an "Internet" boyfriend.

I know I am pathetic. I suck. I don't fit in with society. My trust issues are wacky. I'm wacky. Not self pity, just the truth.

=(

To be honest, I don't even want to exist. Me and my life are a pain in the a**...All I can do is hope....but even that has faded...*sigh*

 

[Peaches]

*hug* no trust is not good, but being a bit careful with guys is, one day soon I am sure you will find the solution to sort out the two

 

[ASnowyCanadian]

Sup Lena. You want friends? I'll be your friend, PM me whenever you want.

 

[painter's radio]

It is depressing, isn't it, seeing the rat race for what it is. Not just in jobs and work but in hormones too... people in general. Unfortunately you have to experience these honeysuckle people, or rather their unpleasant traits, and take it all as just that - experience. I hate the saying "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger", but it is often true. If you get through these difficult times, you'll come out the other side stronger, and wiser. After you've experienced these people more and more, you'll be able to spot these types of people and know exactly who you can and cannot trust. There are people out there you can trust, just don't give them everything all at once. It's ok to have trust issues. Many people do. I do myself, and it can really take a while for someone to gain my trust, or get inside the real me. But once they do, I usually have really good relationships with them. I'm sorry you're lonely and miserable at the moment, but just remember it's ok to feel like that, and to be yourself... it'll be more rewarding in the end, trust me...

 

[Tealeaf]

Dating is much easier if you have some established friendships instead of relying on potential dates for company. The impact of losing them may be less and it's easier to stay objective because your needs are at least partially met, you'll have more opportunities to go out and meet people, and once you're closer they can act as a sounding board for guys you meet if you're not sure about them. Your friends might notice something that you don't, which is extremely helpful if you tend to attract unpleasant people. Common advice, maybe, but they're the only reason I had any shred of social happiness back when I was getting messed over six ways from Sunday before meeting my girl.

 

[Lady X]

Hey Lena,

First of all, don't put a value on your love-life experience. I don't mind admitting I was a virgin til I was 24 and even after that I was only with one guy before my husband. He didn't mind at all, one bit, nada - infact he was pleasantly surprised. Some guys might want a girl that's been around, but they are only ever gonna get girls that have been around!

I know the pain of what feels like a "many-pronged attack" on life, with honeysuckle from several directions. Everything builds up and makes each aspect feel a lot worse than it really is.


Try looking at the positives.

- Firstly, guys are obviously interested in you. Whether they turn out to be worth a shot or not, it shows you that you are likeable, attractive and that guys want to date you. Its a bloody good starting point . Don't worry about seeking someone asap - just try and feel comfortable in yourself and let finding the right person come naturally.
- Secondly, Trust can be built with the right people. I have some pretty well founded trust issues, but have found a handful of trustworthy folk I can talk to. Took me years, but it proved to me that it can be done.
- Thirdly, the right job is out there for you. You might not have it right now, but keep looking. The economy is not as bad as everyone says. Jobsites have thousands of vacancies, and if the right one isn't there today, why not tomorrow? Stick it out - I've been there myself and its not nice, but eventually with persistence and time I did get a job. You could possibly take up a volunteer position in an area you're interested in? For many jobs its a foot in the door and some valuable experience and networking that could lead to permanent positions.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Question, what is worse? Constantly being in played and taking a chance at love or hiding behind a shield of paranoia and fear, but not being played?

As they say the greater the risk the greater the reward. I am pretty sure the opposite is true as well.

 

[ThisSideOfTheRainbow]

"To be honest, I don't even want to exist. Me and my life are a pain in the a**...All I can do is hope....but even that has faded...*sigh*"

I can relate all too well to this

 

[perfanoff]

Lena, I've personally found it very hard to keep girl friends while I'm single. I don't think that a friendship like that can remain for very long before sexual tension comes up. So if you're meant for each other at that time you'll meet somewhere along the way, if not, neither of you have lost anything too precious. Eventually a more awesome guy will come around and you will laugh this stuff out