I am leaving

[DariusArgent]

Yup. I am leaving.

Even though this forum is for lonely people I am left alone here. No, I don't feel that way, I see it that way. When I give words of comfort I am not thanked, when I post a thread of my own few answer and so far I haven't made any close friendships (even though my stay was short, but I've seen people who joined recently gaining support and companionship). Guess I'll have to try my luck finding people I can befriend with in some other place.

Bye

 

[Mr Seal The Albatros]

I'm sorry the place didn't work out for you. You were a cool guy to have around.
I wish you all the best in whatever you do and good luck on that game you're making!

 

[user 115627]

Harsh words. Have you asked yourself why things happened the way they did though?

If you're getting little response to some of your threads it might be the nature of the thread itself. Whether the topic has been talked through more than once or if majority of the users just don't share interest in that particular activity. This is a very diverse community after all.

Regarding giving and receiving words of comfort, I can't say I share your experience. Plain and simple.

I've been here for seven months now. I have made four friends and lost three of them again. You do the math. In my case, I got no one to blame but myself.

That's that. It's not my intention to steer you away from your decision. But I thought it might be insightful to gain a broader perspective by hearing another one's experience.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Do you give advice and comfort just to be thanked for it? I mean, yeah, it's nice to be thanked, but it's not required. You can't expect someone to thank you for saying something to them. Just because you would do it, doesn't mean everyone else would. Also, sometimes, people here just don't thank others for advice. Sometimes, it takes everything just for them to post about their problems here.

As to making friends. I can't really say why you haven't, but many people either PM others and talk to them privately to get to know each other better or they go to the chat room where they talk to people. You can't expect to make friends just by posting on the open forum. You actually have to give people a chance and talk to them more. Some people DO make friends quickly, but not everyone. Sometimes, it takes a little longer, depending how you choose to talk to people and what you say, as well as who you say it to. You may feel like you are left alone, but how much of that is just in your head and how much is the actual truth?

 

[Lacrecia]

Do you give advice and comfort just to be thanked for it? I mean, yeah, it's nice to be thanked, but it's not required.

This. You should not give advice, be nice etc mainly to be thanked. You should do it mainly because you feel like you WANT to encourage and comfort others.
Have YOU tried to make friends? Did you attempt to talk (in PM or other) to people and you got rejected? to make friends, you need to be patient. You can't expect everyone to want to know you better just because it is you. Sorry but things dont work like that, even (or rather especially) in ALL.
You should stay few more months, and if nothing change then yea this place isnt for you.

Either way good luck etc.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I am here to share experiences not especially to make friends.
Nobody pm's me, I think a lot of people could say the same.

 

[ringwood]

I am here to share experiences not especially to make friends.
Nobody pm's me, I think a lot of people could say the same.

Similar experience here too. I've been a member for a number of years, and can't say I've really made any friends. Acquaintances I talk to sometimes for sure, but nobody I talk with on a regular basis outside of this forum. Try the chatroom or just sending a massage to someone you think might have similar interests and introduce yourself. There are some great people here, you just need to give it more of a chance. The more you post and are active within the site, the more people get to know you.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I am here to share experiences not especially to make friends.
Nobody pm's me, I think a lot of people could say the same.

Similar experience here too. I've been a member for a number of years, and can't say I've really made any friends. Acquaintances I talk to sometimes for sure, but nobody I talk with on a regular basis outside of this forum. Try the chatroom or just sending a massage to someone you think might have similar interests and introduce yourself. There are some great people here, you just need to give it more of a chance. The more you post and are active within the site, the more people get to know you.

'sending a massage to someone' ? - sounds like fun !

 

[ringwood]

I am here to share experiences not especially to make friends.
Nobody pm's me, I think a lot of people could say the same.

Similar experience here too. I've been a member for a number of years, and can't say I've really made any friends. Acquaintances I talk to sometimes for sure, but nobody I talk with on a regular basis outside of this forum. Try the chatroom or just sending a massage to someone you think might have similar interests and introduce yourself. There are some great people here, you just need to give it more of a chance. The more you post and are active within the site, the more people get to know you.

'sending a massage to someone' ? - sounds like fun !

Hahaha! Oops! Does sound like fun though, doesn't it? I could do with a nice massage right now!

 

[SophiaGrace]

You make friends via...

1) Watching other member's responses/posts to see who you click with
2) PMing them
3) Helping others
4) Going in the chatroom and becoming a regular
5) adding people on Skype
6) when you really really trust people...add them on facebook.
7) Meet in real life if you are absolutely sure you trust them after you've been facebook friends with them for a while or after years of watching them on the forum/chatting through skype

Voila. You've made friends from ALL.

Other tips to increase your visibility on the boards:

1) Have an avatar
2) Have a banner in your signature
3) Put stuff in your signature
4) banter with the old-time regulars
5) Be a regular
6) don't generalize about groups of people or be bitter... (sorry, I've noticed it turns people off on here)

Post count til friends if you've done all this?

3k or so, maybe less depending on whether people appreciate your posts.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I am here to share experiences not especially to make friends.
Nobody pm's me, I think a lot of people could say the same.

Similar experience here too. I've been a member for a number of years, and can't say I've really made any friends. Acquaintances I talk to sometimes for sure, but nobody I talk with on a regular basis outside of this forum. Try the chatroom or just sending a massage to someone you think might have similar interests and introduce yourself. There are some great people here, you just need to give it more of a chance. The more you post and are active within the site, the more people get to know you.

'sending a massage to someone' ? - sounds like fun !

Hahaha! Oops! Does sound like fun though, doesn't it? I could do with a nice massage right now!

I'll pop round, won't be long !

 

[ABrokenMan]

When I post, i do not expect, or wait around for a direct reply, proclamation of gratitude, etc.

I think you are in the wrong place if you expect such actions.

 

[Case]

DariusArgent, how very dramatic of you to leave after only being a user here for 10 days.

Do you really think that 10 days is long enough to earn a close friendship? Seriously? Close friendships take much, much longer than that to develop. I think you need to adjust your expectations, or else the next site you visit will have a similar result.

 

[sothatwasmylife]

Good advice...we all need learning curves...so maybe simply stay with this site, adjust your expectations and see what you can gain from it....it's maybe got a bit more potential than you give it credit for right now

 

[Tiina63]

Yup. I am leaving.

Even though this forum is for lonely people I am left alone here. No, I don't feel that way, I see it that way. When I give words of comfort I am not thanked, when I post a thread of my own few answer and so far I haven't made any close friendships (even though my stay was short, but I've seen people who joined recently gaining support and companionship). Guess I'll have to try my luck finding people I can befriend with in some other place.

Bye

Maybe people haven't thanked you because they feel so down and unhappy that , after posting their post, they haven't got the emotional energy to come back to read any responses. Or maybe they read the responses and feel comforted but don't think that posting thanks is required.
As others have said, ten days is a short time, no time at all really, to make friends in.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Yup. I am leaving.

Even though this forum is for lonely people I am left alone here. No, I don't feel that way, I see it that way. When I give words of comfort I am not thanked, when I post a thread of my own few answer and so far I haven't made any close friendships (even though my stay was short, but I've seen people who joined recently gaining support and companionship). Guess I'll have to try my luck finding people I can befriend with in some other place.

Bye

I think these things just take time. You haven't been around that long. You just need patience. Or do some reaching out yourself instead of just waiting for others to message you.

I've been debating for a while to stay or go since I don't really have time to be online as much as I find myself being here, and I'm not even really that lonely (except for wanting a romantic relationship) and I still don't know what my ultimate decision will be. But it feels from what i read in your posts that this place could be really good for you, if you give it some time.

PS - according to your posts, it seems we have had a lot of common interests like gaming and drawing, but also experiences.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Do you really think that 10 days is long enough to earn a close friendship? Seriously? Close friendships take much, much longer than that to develop.

I agree. It took me months when I first came here but because I had been lonely for years, this gave me a place to actually be lonely. It was a place where I could be myself. So, I stuck around.

---

Yup. I am leaving.

Even though this forum is for lonely people I am left alone here. No, I don't feel that way, I see it that way. When I give words of comfort I am not thanked, when I post a thread of my own few answer and so far I haven't made any close friendships (even though my stay was short, but I've seen people who joined recently gaining support and companionship). Guess I'll have to try my luck finding people I can befriend with in some other place.

Bye

Maybe people haven't thanked you because they feel so down and unhappy that , after posting their post, they haven't got the emotional energy to come back to read any responses. Or maybe they read the responses and feel comforted but don't think that posting thanks is required.
As others have said, ten days is a short time, no time at all really, to make friends in.

And sometimes...people are just plain selfish

Gotta add that too, it's a possibility.

 

[Cavey]

I've been here for over 18 months and I wouldn't say I have any outright 'friends' here - I have lots of people I respect and lots of people whom I exchange PMs with on an infrequent basis, but there is no one here who really knows me.

When I make a thread, it's nice to receive lots of replies, but I don't let it upset me if I don't. You haven't really given it a chance yet, but if you know that this place is not right for you, then I wish you luck in the future wherever you may end up.

 

[Therapon]

You make friends via...

1) Watching other member's responses/posts to see who you click with
2) PMing them
3) Helping others
4) Going in the chatroom and becoming a regular
5) adding people on Skype
6) when you really really trust people...add them on facebook.
7) Meet in real life if you are absolutely sure you trust them after you've been facebook friends with them for a while or after years of watching them on the forum/chatting through skype

Voila. You've made friends from ALL.

I second this. I've done this and it's worked fine. You just have to be proactive and PM people who seem like they might share your interests. If you aren't proactive, it's unlikely most others will be - since many here suffer from social anxiety or are equally afraid to PM you.

Start by asking them a relevent question that you're curious about after reading their posts, or offering them support that they've asked for.

 

[lonelyfairy]

I'm sorry you feel this way. *hugs* You need to give people some time to know you. As some said, it takes months to develop a friendship. You need to be patient. Also people have their own worries and problems and they might not have any energy to answer back. There can be countless reasons for that.