I am mostly negative

[AvexD]

I try to have good self esteem within myself, but in some why I have sich negativity with in myself that most of the time I question myself. Like for instance, I tend to sometimes put myself, just to make a joke out of myself ( which is not the best thing to do). Or maybe that I just don't want to be cocky, because of all my faults that I have which is mostly that I interrupt people, I swear whenever I can't think of a word, I am sometimes the most coldest person you may know, I am not very smart, or I don't seem much like a human, like i can't have empathy towards others, I am lazy,etc.

In most moments, when there are good, I am thinking positive, even having a good time but then, these negative feelings return, thus thinking that I should not put myself on a pedestal, to seem like i am superior. That reality, just strikes into me, that this is only for a moment, because in the next minute or so.. I will be nothing more than just me as two hours/minutes prior.

And when I do say that most times, I have trouble having empathy or sympathy for people, I do. Like in some ways I can understand those with issues, events, or anything, but at most times I can't. Or I maybe I just don't want to, because I want I want to seen them sad or cry, and I know that sounds horrible, but this is how I sometimes feel. Even I think to myself " Why do I even think this?", and just try to move on. But even now and then it strikes me, just peeping in.

:my:

 

[FreedomFromLiberty]

I kind of think of myself as somewhat cynical. What can I say.. the world has made me so. I think a lot of my cynicism is justified by my personal experiences.

AvexD, can you give a few examples of you being negative and how that was a problem for you?

 

[Vinan]

Wonderful you were important enough to be born don't worry about which emotion is what or how or when it can happen. Just understand you were important enough to be made and are very important to the life on this earth. To prove this is simple within your life there is people that love you. Your existense is an amazing gift to them for the chance to feel that love and to give it was one of their happiest moments in their lifes. So fear not the change or the state of anything just understand all in the end its okay.

 

[AvexD]

I kind of think of myself as somewhat cynical. What can I say.. the world has made me so. I think a lot of my cynicism is justified by my personal experiences.

AvexD, can you give a few examples of you being negative and how that was a problem for you?

Examples of my negativity ( the best way I can example most of the things) -\\
1. I do make fun of myself without even knowing it, making others look on to me, as I am downing myself.

2. I think about horrible things to say to people but I will never say them, I try to hold on to them in my head. Like for example I wish that they would get hurt o

3. When I try to be funny or sociable, sometimes I will make fun of them, of something, because I am trying to be sociable or likable towards people. Then the problem would be that they will hate that and not talk.

4. That negativity that just pops in every know and then, that usually brings me down to earth. And most of the time the problem is with that it usually makes my mood fickle, and especially when I am talking to people. It annoys me.


I hope I wan't too lengthy -__-''