I Did Something Stupid

[Scootch]

Well I need to be honest... a few weeks ago I did something silly... Its a complex situation but the combination of a horrid job where im bullied and stressed and a boyfriend whom I love and adore, who doesnt feel the same...basically I have felt totally pointless. I got quite drunk in my room on gin and wine...and I have a vague memory of necking some flu relief tablets and paracetamol. The next day I was up early for work at 5.30am...I was in a total stupor and shaking badly...threw up 4 times in 4o minutes once I was at work. I dont know how many tablets I took and I cant remember what I was trying to do?

I'm worried Im subconsciously suicidal and Ill do something stupid if I lose my inhibitions....

I must sound so stupid.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

You dont really want to die...it's just your mind and body going into
a self presevation mode from all the stress you're
going through to prevent you from snapping or system overload.

You just havnt been given coping skills or healthy living tools.

I hope you feel better, soon. Please dont beat up on yourself.
You have enough stress as it is.

 

[whispers]

No you dont sound stupid. Alcohol is a depressant and will make you feel worse if you take too much, so i'm sure at some point, you didnt care about yourself anymore. Now that you know that, i suggest you stay away from booze and find something else to release your sadness, pain and frustration. I like to go somewhere secluded and scream till my voice is out. or i go out dancing, mostly in a dance studio.
You were lucky the medication didnt land you in the hospital or worse...
I'm glad your ok

 

[Scootch]

I dont want to die...which is why I dont understand what I did, or was trying to do. Im frightened as I do not recognise this part of myself? If that makes sense?

I havent told my bf, or anyone. If he would only support me, I could tell him...

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Yes..It makesense. Ive done some pretty stupid stuff in my life time.

Im sorry your BF isnt very supportive of you.

 

[ajdass1]

No this isn't stupid at all. Like Whispers says, I think it's a good idea to consciously stay away from alcohol.

But what you've said about your relationship and your work, the things that are giving you the feelings that got you into the situation to begin with... I don't really know what to suggest for those. Maybe it would help if you talked more about what you're going through at work and with your boyfriend? You posted a thread awhile ago about your boyfriend... how has that developed?

 

[Felix]

I dont want to die...which is why I dont understand what I did, or was trying to do. Im frightened as I do not recognise this part of myself? If that makes sense?

I havent told my bf, or anyone. If he would only support me, I could tell him...

Why not try to talk to him? Or a member of your family at least...
Sounds like you could use some help right now. At least to talk about it with someone.

 

[beautifulsorrow]

You don't sound stupid. It really IS scary when something like that happens. Like others said stay away from the booze, people can get very suicidal when they're drunk. Don't worry you'll be alright.

 

[SophiaGrace]

You don't sound stupid. It really IS scary when something like that happens.

+1

Though you might have poisoned yourself to the point where your organs are effected.

Which is why they do stomache pumps for overdoses so that organs don't suffer shut-downs.

 

[LoneKiller]

You aren't stupid. You are human. I caution you to be very careful in the future though.

 

[Gutted]

Yeah you're not stupid! Just try not to drink. Keep as clear a mind as you can so you can think straight. Maybe lock your meds away somewhere and just leave enough out to cover you for 1 headache ect.