In May, I was diagnosed with MS. I got pretty down about the diagnosis. In June, my wife of 16 years tells me she is no longer happy and doesn't want to be married. Then for three months she let me hang around growing cooler towards me while she decide whether we were going to marriage counseling to resolve our problems or divorce. When I asked her about it, she said that I was pushing and.needed to back off.
My health was worsening from the stress and came to a head on Halloween night. We had a big fight because all she could say was that she didin't like me anymore, I was too hard to deal with, and she was not happy. She left me begging her to explain and went to pick up our daughter. She went to her sister's house to take our daughter trick or treating, something I wanted to do and was looking forward to. When they got home, I was heart broken and in bed. I stayed home from work the next a nade a serious suicide attempt. I took a bottle of90 zanaflex a muscle relaxer, and a bottle of Lorazepan. I woke up hours later in ICU. My wife came I when I woke up and told that I almost turned our little girl's birthday into a funeral. Then her mother told me that I was trying to take the easy way out. At the time I just could not see myself living another day with MS and no wife or family.
Three days later, I was checked out of the psych ward in which I was placed for observation. I made it out just in time to go to my daughter's birthday party. My wife told me that I was not to worry about who knew and who didn't know. Today was about our daughter and to quit being so selfish.
I have now been living with my parents since November. We split custody with our child, and are going through the divorce proceedings. I feel like a mess at work and at home. I am I. Pain from my MS and much of the exxacerbations are brought on by the stress of the situation.
I just feel helpless, hopeless, and unworthy of love. I am deeply depressed. I have no one to really speak to. I feel isolated. The only thing that motivates me is my daughter. But, she deserves a father that is self motivated. How much longer will this last? Sometimes I am afraid that I really did die and I am in Hell. God save me.
My health was worsening from the stress and came to a head on Halloween night. We had a big fight because all she could say was that she didin't like me anymore, I was too hard to deal with, and she was not happy. She left me begging her to explain and went to pick up our daughter. She went to her sister's house to take our daughter trick or treating, something I wanted to do and was looking forward to. When they got home, I was heart broken and in bed. I stayed home from work the next a nade a serious suicide attempt. I took a bottle of90 zanaflex a muscle relaxer, and a bottle of Lorazepan. I woke up hours later in ICU. My wife came I when I woke up and told that I almost turned our little girl's birthday into a funeral. Then her mother told me that I was trying to take the easy way out. At the time I just could not see myself living another day with MS and no wife or family.
Three days later, I was checked out of the psych ward in which I was placed for observation. I made it out just in time to go to my daughter's birthday party. My wife told me that I was not to worry about who knew and who didn't know. Today was about our daughter and to quit being so selfish.
I have now been living with my parents since November. We split custody with our child, and are going through the divorce proceedings. I feel like a mess at work and at home. I am I. Pain from my MS and much of the exxacerbations are brought on by the stress of the situation.
I just feel helpless, hopeless, and unworthy of love. I am deeply depressed. I have no one to really speak to. I feel isolated. The only thing that motivates me is my daughter. But, she deserves a father that is self motivated. How much longer will this last? Sometimes I am afraid that I really did die and I am in Hell. God save me.