As the title says, I feel like I can't do anything right. Over the last few months I have worked hard to tidy up my home (it had been really messy for too long, butit is now much tidier and far more organised) and I also got rid of a couple of musty smelling carpets in the living room and put vinyl down as it is easy to keep clean. Since getting it I have noticed how much more fresh smelling my home is. Tonight a friend called and he remarked on a musty smell in the living room. I know I sound stupid but it really upset me as I was starting to feel proud of my home and I ended up crying my eyes out in front of him about it. It took me four or five months to save up for the vinyl and I honestly haven't noticed any mustiness since getting it. After he left, I went out for a while so that I could come back in and see if there was any smell of mustiness. I didn't notice one at all. It has still worried me though. I don't want to have to feel ashamed of asking anyone to visit me. I did feel ashamed of having anyone to visit before getting the vinyl because of the musty smell from the carpets. Now I am wondering if my house really is an awful place which I should be ashamed of.
I feel like I can't do anything right.
- Thread starter Tiina63
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Sigma
Well-known member
Perhaps that friend just has a particularly well developed sense of smell, maybe he noticed the work you had done around the place and decided to make a (poorly received) joke about it, either way you made improvements didn't you?
It's not like you need to get everything right the first time, you make your house a little cleaner, someone comes along and points something out and then you improve it some more, what's the harm in that? I don't think you should let the lack of absolute perfection get in the way of your sense of pride.
And your place is probably a heck of a lot better than my place, it reeks of booze in here.
Try that for musty.
It's not like you need to get everything right the first time, you make your house a little cleaner, someone comes along and points something out and then you improve it some more, what's the harm in that? I don't think you should let the lack of absolute perfection get in the way of your sense of pride.
And your place is probably a heck of a lot better than my place, it reeks of booze in here.
Try that for musty.
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
Hey Tiina, I'm sorry you feel upset about that. *hugs*
I don't know, sometimes I feel like smell / odour can also be quite subjective. Like one person may smell musty, another may not. :\
But it doesn't mean that you can't do anything right or that you should be ashamed of your house. If you know you've taken good care of it and made sure it's smelling great and looking good, take pride in it. Besides, it's a comment made just by one person. Unless a lot of people have commented on the same thing, I don't think you should worry or be bothered much by it. I'm sure your house is awesome.
I don't know, sometimes I feel like smell / odour can also be quite subjective. Like one person may smell musty, another may not. :\
But it doesn't mean that you can't do anything right or that you should be ashamed of your house. If you know you've taken good care of it and made sure it's smelling great and looking good, take pride in it. Besides, it's a comment made just by one person. Unless a lot of people have commented on the same thing, I don't think you should worry or be bothered much by it. I'm sure your house is awesome.
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WallflowerGirl83
Guest
I'm sorry to hear that you're this stressed out about your house. My mother tends to stress out about the house as well. I'm sure everything is fine, don't be so hard on yourself. Some people tend to come out and say rather hurtful things. And those comments tend to consume it after we hear it. I understand in a way cause I'm the same way and I probably would have reacted the same way cause I'm rather sensitive.
Thank you to everyone who has replied. It's really good of you to take the time.
To be honest, I have felt annoyed by other things this friend has said over the months, but when he said about a musty smell, this was something I had worked so hard to solve.
If I mention the other things, I would welcome any input on whether others would have felt annoyed by the same things. Most of them are very small, but the effect is like a constant drip drip of water.
1. He thought I wasn't looking after my yucca plant properly even though I have had it for 20 years and it has gone from under a foot to 12 foot tall and is thriving. Each time he comes he asks if I am looking after it the way he told me to.
2. I took a book from one of my bookcases to read, meaning that the other books slanted a bit owing to the gap. He criticised the fact that my books weren't straight.
3. I got rid of a pile of carrier bags to a local charity shop and kept one bag of bags stored away next to the fridge freezer in an inconspicuous place to use in the rubbish bin in the kitchen. He complained about this bag of bags.
4. One of my apples in the fruit bowl was once bad and now he checks my fruit every time he comes even though I tell him it is fine and ask him to let it be.
5. He keeps on at me to move the bookcase from the hall to the living room even though I have said to him that it is fine where it is. I think that he wants to move it mainly because he comes by bike and puts his bike in the hall, and so the hall gets blocked when he is here.
6. Once when I was ironing he said he wanted to give me some 'tips' on how to iron. I felt like hitting him with the iron!!
7. He critiscised the fact that the top of one of my bookcases was untidy. I tidied it up but he didn't say it looked nice or anything next time he came.
He says that he is saying all this out of concern for me and because he cares about me, but it isn't coming across like care or concern to me. I feel as if I could hit him or something and certainly don't want him visiting again.
To be honest, I have felt annoyed by other things this friend has said over the months, but when he said about a musty smell, this was something I had worked so hard to solve.
If I mention the other things, I would welcome any input on whether others would have felt annoyed by the same things. Most of them are very small, but the effect is like a constant drip drip of water.
1. He thought I wasn't looking after my yucca plant properly even though I have had it for 20 years and it has gone from under a foot to 12 foot tall and is thriving. Each time he comes he asks if I am looking after it the way he told me to.
2. I took a book from one of my bookcases to read, meaning that the other books slanted a bit owing to the gap. He criticised the fact that my books weren't straight.
3. I got rid of a pile of carrier bags to a local charity shop and kept one bag of bags stored away next to the fridge freezer in an inconspicuous place to use in the rubbish bin in the kitchen. He complained about this bag of bags.
4. One of my apples in the fruit bowl was once bad and now he checks my fruit every time he comes even though I tell him it is fine and ask him to let it be.
5. He keeps on at me to move the bookcase from the hall to the living room even though I have said to him that it is fine where it is. I think that he wants to move it mainly because he comes by bike and puts his bike in the hall, and so the hall gets blocked when he is here.
6. Once when I was ironing he said he wanted to give me some 'tips' on how to iron. I felt like hitting him with the iron!!
7. He critiscised the fact that the top of one of my bookcases was untidy. I tidied it up but he didn't say it looked nice or anything next time he came.
He says that he is saying all this out of concern for me and because he cares about me, but it isn't coming across like care or concern to me. I feel as if I could hit him or something and certainly don't want him visiting again.
1 - 20 years? Yeah, you have obviously neglected it - tell him to get lost
2 - Who is this guy, seems like he has OCD or something, does he live in the real world?
3 - Why? At this point I wouldn't need to read further to know who is the problem.
4 - Is this your dad/doctor - really I think this guy needs to see a doctor.
5 - Tell him to get a smaller bike
6 - I don't blame you - Of course it would probably turn out that you hit him the wrong way.
7 - Oh he's the bookcase police, it all makes sense now.
Maybe he cares for you, but I think he's got his own issues and they are not yours. Wow, I wonder what he'd say if he came to our house.
See the pic I posted, ask him who he's coming to see, you, or to inspect the house.
2 - Who is this guy, seems like he has OCD or something, does he live in the real world?
3 - Why? At this point I wouldn't need to read further to know who is the problem.
4 - Is this your dad/doctor - really I think this guy needs to see a doctor.
5 - Tell him to get a smaller bike
6 - I don't blame you - Of course it would probably turn out that you hit him the wrong way.
7 - Oh he's the bookcase police, it all makes sense now.
Maybe he cares for you, but I think he's got his own issues and they are not yours. Wow, I wonder what he'd say if he came to our house.
See the pic I posted, ask him who he's coming to see, you, or to inspect the house.
P
perfanoff
Guest
Tiina63 said:
Wow, this guy either has OCD or is a royal *******. Beware Tina..
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WildernessWildChild
Guest
Sounds more like a control freak than a friend. That's the kind of person I'd happily say "pound it up your ass" to when the criticism starts to flow.
RB46
Well-known member
Tina, no matter how lonely you feel or how bad you feel for him to empathise with the rejection he will feel, you really would be better off without this guy in your life. I'm sure he's a nice guy underneath all the issues but that's for him to deal with. You need to kick him into touch my dear.
