I feel so alone cus I am

[Innerpeace]

I've been feeling lonely for a long time now. Every since highschool which ended in 2003 for me I've been extremely lonely. I'm in the last 2 semesters of getting a Bachelors degree from University and I have not made any friends going to University which is common from what I heard from other students who do not live on campus.

at my work I have also not found anyone I can relate with. The people at my work (low paying job) who are my age have no life goals and are happy working min wage and going out drinking every weekend but that's not what I'm looking for.

Also I've wanted to have a girlfriend for so long now and not been successful yet. I'm 23 turning 24 in 4 months and still have not had a girlfriend which is not very normal for a guy my age.

so I don't have any friends at all rigth now and I feel pretty bad sometimes, everyones always talking about all the fun things they did in the weekends etc and I have nothing to say.

also like tonight I went to buy some things at the grocery story and everyone seems to be out with their girlfriend and I feel like some out of place weirdo.

anyways in 2 semesters my school is overwith and I was planning on going to lawschool which would be nice for meeting people as I'd be living there. however my marks are likely not going to be high enough to get me in a Canadian lawschool at least not until i'm 29 or 30 when I can apply as a mature student.

so i'm now planning on becoming a probation officer but i'm thinking that my life is going to become even more boring after university.

 

[Spare]

I'm a big advocate of using hobbies as a deterrent to loneliness. They can provide you with a distraction from your solitude, and in some lucky cases an escape route to happiness. No matter what your hobbies are, there are always others who will share your interests, and would most likely be a good source of companionship.

 

[DayvanCowboy]

Try not to think about wanting a girlfriend for the moment. Like what has been posted by Spare, do things for yourself. ANYTHING to better yourself. In your emotional state I think trying to get into a relationship with someone right away would be a very bad idea.

Surround yourself by things that will expand YOU and who you are. Do things to gain experience and knowledge so when the next person comes around that can be a potential friend or significant other you will at least seem like someone who is confident and knows how to enjoy life. You will have your chances. Do something for yourself for now.

 

[Innerpeace]

thanks.

I have one hobby that is working on cars. I have an old 80s porsche I have been working on for the past three years. It did help me with my loneliness for a while but not anymore.

I don't really have much other interests.

I'd like to play guitar but I haen't had the time to do so yet.

I'd also like to start working out because I think i'm too skinny and want to bulk up a bit. so I might start doing that this summer.

i'm not very good at making friends. for some reason I always think no one wants to really be my friend.

and only girls that are interested in my are some highschool girls at my work (i'm 23 almost 24) and even the one highschool girl (18) that I ended up liking a lot ended up ignoring me and suddenly acting like i'm some kind of alien.

you guys are right though, being lonely and depressed will just lead onto a cycle as people can sense that you are desperate and lonely and no one wants to be around that person, not even me.

 

[Spare]

The gym is a great idea. The two closest friends I've ever had started out as my workout partners. Plus, your self-confidence will build along with your muscles.

ADDED BONUS: There are women there!

EXTRA ADDED BONUS: It's okay to be all sweaty when you talk to them!

 

[SophiaGrace]

wow have no stories to tell about the weekend? me too! If someone asks me what I did over the weekend I just tell them I did hw. How lame

In reality I surf the net a lot. But they dont need to know that

Why dont you first try to make friends with a girl and then spend a lot of time with her. If the chemistry is right, she might end up liking you. This method takes a while but its worth a short I think.

 

[Memorable]

Hey I ended up with no friends after school, and like you went into a VERY low paid job that I am still in and have no motivation to do, plus everyone is 50 years older than me. I'm new here so I have a lot to learn, but in the meantime I've just resorted to trying to make friends online, 'cause at the moment that's all I feel I can do x

 

[strobefire]

Hi, I definitely feel for you. I just turned 25, I've been single all my life, I guess I've never been really social. And I can understand what you're going through with college, for me it was tough because everyone was saying how college was so great, and I just didn't like it at all and it was hard to admit that.

I agree with some of the other posters, keep doing what you love. Working on cars sounds interesting, working out is great too, I loved running in high school but I was really slow - even so I managed to run two marathons while I was in college. I didn't enjoy college, but at least I enjoyed that part of it. So don't give up on hope, be optimistic, you have a lot of talent and I know you can do it!

 

[bear]

The gym is a great idea. The two closest friends I've ever had started out as my workout partners. Plus, your self-confidence will build along with your muscles.

ADDED BONUS: There are women there!

EXTRA ADDED BONUS: It's okay to be all sweaty when you talk to them!

Agreed with this!

I mean, I am totally useless with women, and social situations in general.

And going to the gym doesn't help me in those social situations just like that, but it makes me feel so much more confident. Its like a general happiness about it. It kills when you are actually doing the exercise, but after doing it, you feel like twice the man/woman you are (not in the body mass sense of course)...

 

[samba101]

I totally feel for you I've been there but in different circumstances I went to school to study Business Management but no one really seemed interested in getting to know me which hurt, I even broke down in the school library crying.

I had a boyfriend at the time but he worked long hours and my social life was basically non existant, didn't know anyone, therefore I swung into a deep depression. I too used to feel like a wierdo didn't help that I was shy and had anxiety issues and didn't talk that much to people, I didn't know how. The trouble with me is that I used to get drunk to alleviate the problem and then I'd be everyone's friends, only thing was I wasn't. I had a few friends over the years but most of the time I was on my own, lonely and afraid to talk to others because I didn't like myself.

Yeah the loneliness gets to you, I'd be going insane on the weekends having nothing to do, my ex at the time had guy friends to have a drink with after work and had no problems conversing and when it came to going out he'd be more interested in talking to others then being around me, honestly couldn't blame him at the time.

Things have changed now I don't feel that way anymore it just took time for the pain to go away. I have about 4 friends, I moved countries so don't see the other 3 but made one here where I live, met him on the internet then we met in person.

Try not to feel weird not having a girlfriend, you'll find one it's just about when that will happen.