I got asked to lunch by a woman and I said 'no'

[Badjedidude]

Ugh. Free lunch people. Seriously?

Oh, gee. It's okay to go out with somebody I'm not into, possibly leading her to think the attraction is mutual. After all, I got a free lunch. Hoorah for the $6 soul.

Oh, come on. It's just a joke.

Besides.... what's wrong with having a free lunch?

 

[Limlim]

So are they supposed to go with someone they don't find attractive and possibly be leading them on falsely, or turn down the lunch because she isn't hot?

 

[Yeah!]

I suppose it all depends on the parties involved. If there's something about her which is severely no-go, like maybe the chick has a beard and the guy is all like "I totally am 100% not into chicks with beards" then I figure it's cool. But the idea of "Not hot" I think still deserves at least a chance. Maybe the lady is average, maybe less than average, everyone's allowed to have a type, but if you go have lunch or go bowling or whatever then you might find that the lady is pretty cool. They like Terry Pratchett books and think Star Wars is the bomb, or whatever. It's not so much about having standards as it is about keeping your options open.

 

[putter65]

I suppose it all depends on the parties involved. If there's something about her which is severely no-go, like maybe the chick has a beard and the guy is all like "I totally am 100% not into chicks with beards" then I figure it's cool. But the idea of "Not hot" I think still deserves at least a chance. Maybe the lady is average, maybe less than average, everyone's allowed to have a type, but if you go have lunch or go bowling or whatever then you might find that the lady is pretty cool. They like Terry Pratchett books and think Star Wars is the bomb, or whatever. It's not so much about having standards as it is about keeping your options open.

It's her doom and gloom attitude that I find off putting. Plus her three wild kids. She's funny enough, one of those who is always joking but when she says anything remotely serious, she has this 'doom and gloom' attitude - always looking for something wrong with things.

 

[Yeah!]

Ah, so she's a miserablist! You could wonder WHY this is, mayhaps she's in the same boat as some of us here, all gloomy because she's got no person to cuddle (Apart from her kids, but that's different cuddling). I vote go out to lunch, see if she cheers up. You may just be her sunshine!

 

[putter65]

Ah, so she's a miserablist! You could wonder WHY this is, mayhaps she's in the same boat as some of us here, all gloomy because she's got no person to cuddle (Apart from her kids, but that's different cuddling). I vote go out to lunch, see if she cheers up. You may just be her sunshine!

I did ask her how long she's been single and she replied 'years' and she was homeless for a time earlier this year. I felt sorry for her then. She doesn't seem to have a great life.

If she does come back with the lunch idea I will go and see what happens !

 

[SophiaGrace]

So if an ugly girl buys a guy a lunch, she's in? =3

This concept amuses me for some reason.

I guess if you can't attract a guy by sight, attract their stomaches instead.

 

[Yeah!]

Beauty is subjective, but everyone gets hungry!

 

[LoneAs]

I've done that quite a few times and its because i feel that i am not good enough company for her, and she deserves better, still trying to find a way around that mentality, its hard to think otherwise.

 

[tangerinedream]

This thread is interesting. First of all, since when did lunch with a co-worker become synonymous with opening the door to a booty call? Jesus Christ.

Secondly, and this is based on watching the shenanigans between people at my place of employment, in addition to some of the comments here, but for God's sake am I the only one who see this? People, FFS don't honeysuckle where you eat.

Intimate relations between coworkers is almost ALWAYS a very bad idea.

None of the 20-somethings where I work seem to get that and as a result, with the constant stream of breakups and hookups, it is affecting people's work performance and feeds the gossip mill. It pisses off Management because they are constantly forced to shuffle people around because it is expressly verboten for an editor to be dating or banging one of his/her writers. honeysuckle, they don't even like people dating who are on the same teams/projects, so then there is even more switching with the cost of added training.

Anyway, germane to the topic, I don't see what the big ******* deal is about having lunch with someone you don't want to fresia. Everyone's got to eat.

/curmudgeonlyrant

 

[rosebud]

This thread is interesting. First of all, since when did lunch with a co-worker become synonymous with opening the door to a booty call? Jesus Christ.

Secondly, and this is based on watching the shenanigans between people at my place of employment, in addition to some of the comments here, but for God's sake am I the only one who see this? People, FFS don't honeysuckle where you eat.

1. OP said the woman was interested in him, so there's the logic for the booty call.

2. I agree. If anything goes wrong, like it often does, there will be a lot more pressure at work.

 

[Limlim]

With regards to the not crapping where you eat sentiment, it definitely is a smart idea. That said it can be hard to resist the temptation because work is one of the main places where you actually have a valid excuse to socialize with people, especially when your club or hobby interests that involve other people are limited in scope.

 

[putter65]

What I find interesting is; when I've asked someone out (or to lunch etc) I've never wanted to know why the person said 'no' - I just accept they don't want to go and that's it. This woman wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. She wanted to know why I couldn't go and wouldn't accept my answers. I had promised my Mother I would sort out her television. The woman said I could have gone after.

Anyway after 5 chats about it during the day, I felt I almost had to say 'we can go some other time' - And the next day she came up with the idea of going with the other woman in 2 weeks time.

Imagine the other way round and I had wanted to goto lunch with a woman and repeatedly asked her why she didn't want to go. I think there are rules for men and rules for women.

I've been in a situation before where a woman asked me somewhere and mentioned another woman as well. As though they don't have the courage to ask me directly.

 

[tangerinedream]

With regards to the not crapping where you eat sentiment, it definitely is a smart idea. That said it can be hard to resist the temptation because work is one of the main places where you actually have a valid excuse to socialize with people, especially when your club or hobby interests that involve other people are limited in scope.

There is a difference between "socializing with" and "banging the fresia out of" someone.

I socialize with my co-workers and have yet to end up in some sort of sordid love triangle.

---

What I find interesting is; when I've asked someone out (or to lunch etc) I've never wanted to know why the person said 'no' - I just accept they don't want to go and that's it. This woman wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. She wanted to know why I couldn't go and wouldn't accept my answers. I had promised my Mother I would sort out her television. The woman said I could have gone after.

Anyway after 5 chats about it during the day, I felt I almost had to say 'we can go some other time' - And the next day she came up with the idea of going with the other woman in 2 weeks time.

Imagine the other way round and I had wanted to goto lunch with a woman and repeatedly asked her why she didn't want to go. I think there are rules for men and rules for women.

I've been in a situation before where a woman asked me somewhere and mentioned another woman as well. As though they don't have the courage to ask me directly.

Not necessarily. I'd say it is this particular woman who has a need to know rather than ALL women.

I don't pester random people for an explanation. The exception to this is with an end of a breakup - I can be persistent. (LOL) But for why someone turned me down for lunch? I don't need the ugly details. I move on.

 

[Limlim]

I used the term socialize lightly, I meant with respect to seeing it as a place to find a potential relationship when options for other places are limited, with respect to the reasons mentioned in my previous post.

 

[tangerinedream]

I used the term socialize lightly, I meant with respect to seeing it as a place to find a potential relationship when options for other places are limited, with respect to the reasons mentioned in my previous post.

lol I still think it'd be wiser to bite the bullet and join a dating site or hang out in the frozen foods aisle of the grocery store in the hopes of coming across a potential mate than dip into the workplace for dates.

The honeysuckle in our rumormill at work is SCAAAAAAN-dalous. haha it's great for indulging in Schadenfreude though.

 

[Limlim]

Fair enough lol

I'm going to totally go to the frozen food isle now and start breathing heavily around women there,

 

[beans]

I used the term socialize lightly, I meant with respect to seeing it as a place to find a potential relationship when options for other places are limited, with respect to the reasons mentioned in my previous post.

lol I still think it'd be wiser to bite the bullet and join a dating site or hang out in the frozen foods aisle of the grocery store in the hopes of coming across a potential mate than dip into the workplace for dates.

LOL have you tried that? I hardly ever see any single folks at the grocery store. Always married couples with family or senior citizens. lol

 

[lovelace]

Today this co worker asked me to lunch. I turned her down saying I was busy. She wanted to go after work at 3pm. I wasn't lying, I promised my Mother I would help her with her Television.

The woman went on and on about it though and I finally told her 'we could go some other time'

The woman is very flirty and at times it's obvious she is interested. I have no real interest in her, she's nice enough to work with but that's it. I know about 20 other women I would rather have lunch with than her. I suppose that's a bit rotten to say that.

I guess I am a bit of a loner and prefer my own company and unless it's somebody who I really like, I won't make the effort to socialize more.

And what was the point of this post? To tell us how you prefer to be alone.

 

[beans]

Today this co worker asked me to lunch. I turned her down saying I was busy. She wanted to go after work at 3pm. I wasn't lying, I promised my Mother I would help her with her Television.

The woman went on and on about it though and I finally told her 'we could go some other time'

The woman is very flirty and at times it's obvious she is interested. I have no real interest in her, she's nice enough to work with but that's it. I know about 20 other women I would rather have lunch with than her. I suppose that's a bit rotten to say that.

I guess I am a bit of a loner and prefer my own company and unless it's somebody who I really like, I won't make the effort to socialize more.

And what was the point of this post? To tell us how you prefer to be alone.

And very very selective.