I hate being reminded

[KotaMidnight]

[/size][/font]So, it really hurts seeing that all my friends are with someone. It's not jealousy, it just reminds me that I'm alone. And it really hurts when they go do stuff with their "someone". Again, it's not jealousy, it's just a painful reminder that I'm alone. I just wish someone had the time for me for a change. If I don't find a someone soon, someone who won't forsake me, at least I can pray that God will end my life early so I don't spend years suffering. I already feel like dying, and nowadays it barely takes anything to burst into tears.

 

[Remedy]

Try not to compare yourself to others because it causes what you are saying, pain. Why compare yourself to other people? They have never been in your shoes before and understand what you have been through.

You and only you can change the fact that you are alone. I'm sorry you are feeling this way and I'm just saying I have experienced/are experiencing the same exact problem.

I know it's really hard to not think about but at least try to think of any positives in your life. I say this too much but try to think of the fact that there is someone out there searching for you and waiting for you to find them. It's just about allowing these people to find you.

For years I have compared myself to other people and I know you say you aren't jealous. It's just the fact that you are still aware of the fact that they have someone and you don't. It's just true that it gets you absolutely no where in life because in turn it causes you to feel depressed and unloved. In which it effects how you hold yourself out in public to where you expect to never find anyone.

I don't know if that is what is causing it but that is just my general idea of it. If you never expect to find anyone and spend your life alone how will someone be able to find you? If you think negatively about yourself for not having anyone at the moment, I just wonder if you are giving some bad vibes off to people.

Try to be content with being single because there really is nothing wrong with it like everyone says to me. All my friends has someone to be with but I try not to let that bother me anymore because only I can do something about not being single anymore. You should try and do the same thing and focus on the task at hand, which is finding someone instead of comparing yourself to your friends. Remember, your friends do not equal everyone and that there plenty of people out there who are single.

 

[Badjedidude]

You're consistently giving awesome input, Remedy. lol I don't even need to post anymore...I can just say, "Do what Remedy said!"

----Steve

 

[duality]

I feel your pain, Kota. I'm going through the same situation. I don't have any advice; I just want you to know that you're not the only one who's like this.

 

[Zak]

For years I have compared myself to other people and I know you say you aren't jealous. It's just the fact that you are still aware of the fact that they have someone and you don't. It's just true that it gets you absolutely no where in life because in turn it causes you to feel depressed and unloved. In which it effects how you hold yourself out in public to where you expect to never find anyone.

Exactly. I have these absolute same lines to tell you. It gets you nowhere, rather it makes you give up. If you find it difficult to not compare then try to focus on your freedom to date while you are not in a relationship. That will make you feel better than them. It did for me for some time.

 

[Steel]

Excellent post Remedy

 

[SophiaGrace]

Youre comparing yourself to others...why dont you try to compare yourself to your OWN expectations >_>

Just a thought...

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I've been applying a simple suggestion that I heard a woman said.
I didn't know if it was true or not. I kept an openmind and was willing to experiment with the simple idea.
She simply say...if you see or find a woman attractive you should give out a vibe of how sexy and beautiful she is.
The phrase she used is "shower me baby"
For some reason...I remember it.lol This principle also gose alone the line of screw guilt and shame...If you
find a woman attractive....bascailly let her know and don't be afraid to let her know.
This woman is also a very will known spiritaul teacher. I find her very,very attractive, sexy and beautiful.

When I enteract with women. To my surprize I did notice the difference how some women will interact with
me today. They actaully smile back at me, wanna chit chat or flirt.lol
I was talking a female custommer yesterday...my co-workers were like..Errr wtf was that all about??
How come she didn't wanna leave as if she wanted to take you home with her.lol
Then yesterday...another chick came up to me and gave me a bare hug. All i did was said "hello" to her a week ago.hahahaaaa

A while back when I was dating my minister actaully gave dating advice. She told me to not be intiminated
by a woman's outter beautiful. She also suggested that I look a woman eye's when I speak to her or interact with her.
hahahaaaa...I guess that broke the habit of me looking at babe's tities when I'm talking to them

One of my friends at that time was a female. She's very, very attractive.
She knew I was having a hard time becuase I had just gotten out of a long term relationship.
I was struggle with looking at other women or interacting with other women becuase I lived with my ex-gf for so long.
She helped me by letting me play with her hands, hair...ect
Everytime we hang out we have lots body contacts.
What that did was help me make body contact with women I was dating.

I also went through simular experince with someone I met on this site. She's very,very attractive.
I was having a hard time getting over my ex-gf. She baciscally told me to fall in love with her...focus on her instead of my ex-gf.
Gradaully as I started getting out more. I met a new friend...she's female too. She and I have lots and lots of body contacts.

I also had another friend (sponsor)that was helping me out...
hahahahaaaa...he bascailly told to date woman and encourage me to keep asking women out.
When I get rejected, stood up or whatever...he'll let me ***** and moan..lmao
Then he would always tell me to go ask women out...this one, that one. WTF are you afraid of???
After a while I got over my fears of approching women...no matter how beautiful I thinks she looks.
After getting stood up or getting rejected a bounch of times..I alway learned to not trip out on that either.
After a couple of months...I actaully found myself dating 5-6 women.
Then my sponsor...said Errr WTF are you doing ????
I was dating....man.lol

My challenge at that piont in time of my life wasn't so much that I havn't had relationships with women...
It's just that every women that I've ever been with had asked me out and I havn't been single for a long time.
Even the female friends I have in my life today had intiated the relationship.
So aprroching women was still relatively a new venture to me.

I moved in with my ex-gf and the women were still dating me, knowing I moved in with someone.
Even one of the women I was dating knew my ex-gf. I guess they had a cion toss or something to see who would continue to date me
Somewhere alone the line...I wasn't comparing myself to other people , other guy's dating stratgies, competing with other guys or other people's morals/values.
And I sure as hell wasn't feeling guilty for dating any of those women. None of the women had ill feelings towards me when I was dating them.
Compairing my moral values of otrhers will also leave with alot of guilt and shame.

 

[KotaMidnight]

I really do appreciate everyone's help. I guess I do need to quit isolating myself, but, fears aside, I just don't know if I can meet people. I have severe trust issues, and besides that, I've never initiated any friendship or relationship. I can't.

 

[dreamer8]

I know how you feel,Kota. Valentine's Day magnifies everything.

 

[KotaMidnight]

I'm not sure I'll want to be around ANY people on Valentine's Day.