I hate to be pessimistic, but there isn't always someone waiting for you.

[downbythebay]

I agree with Sway here, I think people are mistaken and actually do a disservice to others when they deny that everyone's not always happy-go-lucky and positive all the time. Hell, I'm sure most of us on this board aren't, so why pretend and not be true to ourselves at the moment. It is not a bad thing to be down and have a negative outlook sometimes- making someone feel as such just leads to more isolation, guilt and self destruction.
I don't read some threads because I can tell they would disinterest me and have nothing to do with my experience, I think people should do that if it bothers them. If someone has something wrong, even if perceived as negative, by all means reach out and tell us. Those who don't like it should just ignore it and not take part in the discussion perhaps. No one makes anyone open a thread. Not everyone always wants to read positive posts either. It is sometimes the last thing you want to see when you are really down honestly. If this board turns into a place where we always have to be positive & chipper or else we become ostracized, I'm the first one out

 

[SophiaGrace]

I agree with Sway here, I think people are mistaken and actually do a disservice to others when they deny that everyone's not always happy-go-lucky and positive all the time. Hell, I'm sure most of us on this board aren't, so why pretend and not be true to ourselves at the moment. It is not a bad thing to be down and have a negative outlook sometimes- making someone feel as such just leads to more isolation, guilt and self destruction.
I don't read some threads because I can tell they would disinterest me and have nothing to do with my experience, I think people should do that if it bothers them. If someone has something wrong, even if perceived as negative, by all means reach out and tell us. Those who don't like it should just ignore it and not take part in the discussion perhaps. No one makes anyone open a thread. Not everyone always wants to read positive posts either. It is sometimes the last thing you want to see when you are really down honestly. If this board turns into a place where we always have to be positive & chipper or else we become ostracized, I'm the first one out

I agree with this whole-heartedly.

 

[discolemonade]

I see your point, opinion changed

 

[VanillaCreme]

I'll wait for myself then.

*insert masturbation joke*

What?

LOL!

Okay, my topic mentions "someone special waiting for you." And you said, "I'll wait for myself then," which I interpreted as saying "I'm the special one for me," which is an act of self love...which is also masturbation.

Wow, I guess the way I construct a thought is messed up.

Sure, I guess. But I meant, if there's no one for me, then I'll be happy all by myself.

 

[njlonelydude]

I'll wait for myself then.

*insert masturbation joke*

What?

LOL!

Okay, my topic mentions "someone special waiting for you." And you said, "I'll wait for myself then," which I interpreted as saying "I'm the special one for me," which is an act of self love...which is also masturbation.

Wow, I guess the way I construct a thought is messed up.

Sure, I guess. But I meant, if there's no one for me, then I'll be happy all by myself.

I was trying to make a joke, but you know what...nevermind.

 

[Enchanted Girl]

I agree with Sway here, I think people are mistaken and actually do a disservice to others when they deny that everyone's not always happy-go-lucky and positive all the time. Hell, I'm sure most of us on this board aren't, so why pretend and not be true to ourselves at the moment. It is not a bad thing to be down and have a negative outlook sometimes- making someone feel as such just leads to more isolation, guilt and self destruction.
I don't read some threads because I can tell they would disinterest me and have nothing to do with my experience, I think people should do that if it bothers them. If someone has something wrong, even if perceived as negative, by all means reach out and tell us. Those who don't like it should just ignore it and not take part in the discussion perhaps. No one makes anyone open a thread. Not everyone always wants to read positive posts either. It is sometimes the last thing you want to see when you are really down honestly. If this board turns into a place where we always have to be positive & chipper or else we become ostracized, I'm the first one out

I agree with the majority of your post up to the part where it's supposed to be bad sometimes to respond to someone's negativity with a positive response. It's always better to say,"There's hope", then "You're right. Go kill yourself." Which is why I never agree with people when they're down. I don't expect them to be happy, but I'm not going to agree with people when they say there's no hope for them.

People who get angered by encouraging posts are angry because there's absolutely no response that you can give them that they'll be able to handle in a lot of cases. The problem with the internet is that you CAN'T just listen to someone talk. Yes, I've done this a ton of times in person, but when I "just listen" to posts, then they have no idea that I read them at all because I don't respond to them. And people get angry when no one responds because it seems like no one cares.

I already talked about this. It's better to look at the INTENTIONS of the poster. If the INTENTIONS of the poster is like you said, to make you feel miserable and JUDGE you for not being happy all the time, then you have a right to feel annoyed by their response. If their intentions are to try to make you feel better, then you shouldn't take it personally. Maybe you can tell them,"Well, I can't really handle that kind of response right now" or something and if they're on your side, then they'll shut up and say something else.

Because honestly, I've given people sympathetic responses and had them tell me I had no idea what they were going through (as if they know my whole life and know that I wouldn't be able to sympathize.)

I've given people positive responses and had them tell me to shut-up because they said I didn't understand it if I was trying to make them that happy.

I've given no response and had people get angry because they think I don't care and am not listening/reading.

I've given advice and had them get angry at me for that too because my advice didn't help them in any way.

People get angry by all responses and even non-responses . . .

But like I said, it's better to just look at the person's intentions. They're usually pretty obvious. If you're getting angry at people who are on your side, then eventually you'll have no one that cares to listen to you anymore.

 

[FreedomFromLiberty]

Thank you for answering my question. Btw, people come here looking for an outlet out of their lonliness, they don't need negative things bringing them down.

I think it's very helpful and therapeutic to be able to talk about your fears, worries, and most of all to receive validation of those things. I don't see "there isn't always someone waiting for you." as a negative thing, but as a simple statement of fact. You can't seriously deny it. I for one feel better about myself when I hear and read other people's struggles. Then I can know that I am not alone, am not a freak, and that the problems that I face are not always my fault.

---

I'll wait for myself then.

*insert masturbation joke*

What?

LOL!

Okay, my topic mentions "someone special waiting for you." And you said, "I'll wait for myself then," which I interpreted as saying "I'm the special one for me," which is an act of self love...which is also masturbation.

Wow, I guess the way I construct a thought is messed up.

Sure, I guess. But I meant, if there's no one for me, then I'll be happy all by myself.

I was trying to make a joke, but you know what...nevermind.

That was like the perfect pun. I'm surprised it received such a luke-warm reception.

 

[downbythebay]

I agree with Sway here, I think people are mistaken and actually do a disservice to others when they deny that everyone's not always happy-go-lucky and positive all the time. Hell, I'm sure most of us on this board aren't, so why pretend and not be true to ourselves at the moment. It is not a bad thing to be down and have a negative outlook sometimes- making someone feel as such just leads to more isolation, guilt and self destruction.
I don't read some threads because I can tell they would disinterest me and have nothing to do with my experience, I think people should do that if it bothers them. If someone has something wrong, even if perceived as negative, by all means reach out and tell us. Those who don't like it should just ignore it and not take part in the discussion perhaps. No one makes anyone open a thread. Not everyone always wants to read positive posts either. It is sometimes the last thing you want to see when you are really down honestly. If this board turns into a place where we always have to be positive & chipper or else we become ostracized, I'm the first one out

I agree with the majority of your post up to the part where it's supposed to be bad sometimes to respond to someone's negativity with a positive response. It's always better to say,"There's hope", then "You're right. Go kill yourself." Which is why I never agree with people when they're down. I don't expect them to be happy, but I'm not going to agree with people when they say there's no hope for them.

Wow, you've really taken my post wrong. njlonelydude is my friend and I was trying to explain to discolemonade, who is also my friend, why he may have been upset with the positive responses on here and why I disagreed with her statement. I think you're pretty screwed up to suggest that I would encourage negativity in someone, or say something like "You're right. Go kill yourself." You don't even know me. I was saying, and I am sure most readers understand this, sometimes when people are upset and down the very LAST thing they need people telling them is that they should not be reaching out for help because they are in a bad mood or that they should just "be positive" smile and act like everything's rainbows and cupcakes. It's definitely more complicated than that. Yes, there are instances when you can say to someone, you're right that is a shitty situation, and then give your advice instead of lying and saying, oh no there's nothing wrong you just have to be positive. I live in a world of reality where there's a time for sadness & problem-solving and a time for happiness & skipping in the meadow. If you "never agree with someone when they are down" then perhaps at that moment you cannot commiserate because you're not going through the same honeysuckle. Lucky you. You don't know everything, and neither do I, but I was sharing my thoughts and defending someone who a lot of people seem to misunderstand. You have a different perspective, that's fine, but might want to try backing off a bit with the personal insinuations in what you say. The fact that you're assuming that I am basically telling people there's no hope is a crock. Last night me and njlonelydude spoke for a few hours and he'll be the first to tell you that's the last thing I told him. Thanks.

 

[Enchanted Girl]

I agree with Sway here, I think people are mistaken and actually do a disservice to others when they deny that everyone's not always happy-go-lucky and positive all the time. Hell, I'm sure most of us on this board aren't, so why pretend and not be true to ourselves at the moment. It is not a bad thing to be down and have a negative outlook sometimes- making someone feel as such just leads to more isolation, guilt and self destruction.
I don't read some threads because I can tell they would disinterest me and have nothing to do with my experience, I think people should do that if it bothers them. If someone has something wrong, even if perceived as negative, by all means reach out and tell us. Those who don't like it should just ignore it and not take part in the discussion perhaps. No one makes anyone open a thread. Not everyone always wants to read positive posts either. It is sometimes the last thing you want to see when you are really down honestly. If this board turns into a place where we always have to be positive & chipper or else we become ostracized, I'm the first one out

I agree with the majority of your post up to the part where it's supposed to be bad sometimes to respond to someone's negativity with a positive response. It's always better to say,"There's hope", then "You're right. Go kill yourself." Which is why I never agree with people when they're down. I don't expect them to be happy, but I'm not going to agree with people when they say there's no hope for them.

Wow, you've really taken my post wrong. njlonelydude is my friend and I was trying to explain to discolemonade, who is also my friend, why he may have been upset with the positive responses on here and why I disagreed with her statement. I think you're pretty screwed up to suggest that I would encourage negativity in someone, or say something like "You're right. Go kill yourself." You don't even know me. I was saying, and I am sure most readers understand this, sometimes when people are upset and down the very LAST thing they need people telling them is that they should not be reaching out for help because they are in a bad mood or that they should just "be positive" smile and act like everything's rainbows and cupcakes. It's definitely more complicated than that. Yes, there are instances when you can say to someone, you're right that is a shitty situation, and then give your advice instead of lying and saying, oh no there's nothing wrong you just have to be positive. I live in a world of reality where there's a time for sadness & problem-solving and a time for happiness & skipping in the meadow. If you "never agree with someone when they are down" then perhaps at that moment you cannot commiserate because you're not going through the same honeysuckle. Lucky you. You don't know everything, and neither do I, but I was sharing my thoughts and defending someone who a lot of people seem to misunderstand. You have a different perspective, that's fine, but might want to try backing off a bit with the personal insinuations in what you say. The fact that you're assuming that I am basically telling people there's no hope is a crock. Last night me and njlonelydude spoke for a few hours and he'll be the first to tell you that's the last thing I told him. Thanks.

I underlined that sentence for the reason that it was the only part that I disagreed with, not the rest, which is the part you think I was disagreeing with. I clearly stated that I agreed with that part. You wrote:

"Not everyone always wants to read positive posts either. It is sometimes the last thing you want to see when you are really down honestly."

Saying that someone has to be happy isn't a positive post and like I said in my post it's one thing when someone is being judgemental, which is what a post saying that you have to be happy is . . . a judgemental post. Because its saying that it's wrong to be sad.

You said "either" as if it was an after thought in addition to the rest of what you were saying and a separate thought. That might have been what I read wrong if I read something wrong.

"People don't like lemonade. They don't like chocolate either."

Just the word either makes it seem like a separate thing you are talking about.

I wrote my post because you wrote yours not that long after I wrote the thing I did about there possibly being hope and it was safe to assume that you considered my "positive" post a bad post in addition to the other one you were addressing.

I also accused you of nothing. I just said that I wasn't going to do the alternative, make a negative post. I didn't say that you did.

But I misunderstood you and you in turn misunderstood me, so we're not really fighting.

 

[eris]

Plenty of people out there are going to spend their lives alone -- I know I'm one of them.

I don't know why we're fed this bullshit of, "you'll find someone special for you," because when you hear those words you know there's no one out there for you.


Sorry, I have nothing more to say than that.

Well, if you think like that you will never find anyone

We shape our futures, and there are things we can do. Be nice, be patient, be open...

if youre not nice, people will be not nice back. flirt, and the world flirts back

 

[downbythebay]

I underlined that sentence for the reason that it was the only part that I disagreed with, not the rest, which is the part you think I was disagreeing with. I clearly stated that I agreed with that part. You wrote:

"Not everyone always wants to read positive posts either. It is sometimes the last thing you want to see when you are really down honestly."

You said "either" as if it was an after thought in addition to the rest of what you were saying and a separate thought. That might have been what I read wrong if I read something wrong.

"People don't like lemonade. They don't like chocolate either."

Just the word either makes it seem like a separate thing you are talking about.

But I misunderstood you and you in turn misunderstood me, so we're not really fighting.

You're right you didn't understand what I was saying. You were doing fine until you assumed that I was saying it was better to say "you're right. go kill yourself" to someone. You did assume that's what I was saying to do and put that out there for everyone to make me look like an ass and I resent that. It's not so much "agreeing with someone when they are down" that I was talking about, but more commiserating and not saying "something's fine cheer up, you have nothing to worry about". Sometimes that is not the right thing to say. I never said one word about agreeing with someone that there is "no hope for them". You pulled that out of nowhere so you could make your point.

And, there were two paragraphs in my post, two thoughts, this paragraph:
"I don't read some threads because I can tell they would disinterest me and have nothing to do with my experience, I think people should do that if it bothers them. If someone has something wrong, even if perceived as negative, by all means reach out and tell us. Those who don't like it should just ignore it and not take part in the discussion perhaps. No one makes anyone open a thread. Not everyone always wants to read positive posts either. It is sometimes the last thing you want to see when you are really down honestly."

That was all one thought. In a nutshell, I was saying that sometimes I do not like threads I can't relate to, sometimes people don't like negative posts, and sometimes people don't like positive posts, either. I'm not seeing how that's confusing, but okay. Even if you were confused by the word either you insinuated the part about me being willing to say to someone they should end their life or that there's no hope for them.

I understood your post fine, speak for yourself. It was just that your reply was to something I didn't even say but to something you perceived me as saying. I'm not changing my mind, I said my piece and I am not responding to this anymore.

 

[Enchanted Girl]

I underlined that sentence for the reason that it was the only part that I disagreed with, not the rest, which is the part you think I was disagreeing with. I clearly stated that I agreed with that part. You wrote:

"Not everyone always wants to read positive posts either. It is sometimes the last thing you want to see when you are really down honestly."

You said "either" as if it was an after thought in addition to the rest of what you were saying and a separate thought. That might have been what I read wrong if I read something wrong.

"People don't like lemonade. They don't like chocolate either."

Just the word either makes it seem like a separate thing you are talking about.

But I misunderstood you and you in turn misunderstood me, so we're not really fighting.

You're right you didn't understand what I was saying. You were doing fine until you assumed that I was saying it was better to say "you're right. go kill yourself" to someone. You did assume that's what I was saying to do and put that out there for everyone to make me look like an ass and I resent that. It's not so much "agreeing with someone when they are down" that I was talking about, but more commiserating and not saying "something's fine cheer up, you have nothing to worry about". Sometimes that is not the right thing to say. I never said one word about agreeing with someone that there is "no hope for them". You pulled that out of nowhere so you could make your point.

And, there were two paragraphs in my post, two thoughts, this paragraph:
"I don't read some threads because I can tell they would disinterest me and have nothing to do with my experience, I think people should do that if it bothers them. If someone has something wrong, even if perceived as negative, by all means reach out and tell us. Those who don't like it should just ignore it and not take part in the discussion perhaps. No one makes anyone open a thread. Not everyone always wants to read positive posts either. It is sometimes the last thing you want to see when you are really down honestly."

That was all one thought. In a nutshell, I was saying that sometimes I do not like threads I can't relate to, sometimes people don't like negative posts, and sometimes people don't like positive posts, either. I'm not seeing how that's confusing, but okay. Even if you were confused by the word either you insinuated the part about me being willing to say to someone they should end their life or that there's no hope for them.

I understood your post fine, speak for yourself. It was just that your reply was to something I didn't even say but to something you perceived me as saying. I'm not changing my mind, I said my piece and I am not responding to this anymore.

I wouldn't respond to this because it's not important to be "right" or whatever, but you're going to continue to be angry with me and misunderstand me if I don't, so I did.

I just didn't think you thought through what the alternative kind of post was in detail if it wasn't a positive post and I was pointing it out to you. Not accusing of making those posts.

The rest I won't repeat because you said you disagreed with me and that you don't want to talk about it anymore and that's fine.

EDIT: Here . . . I thought of a better way to talk about this and calm you down.

You asked me what the confusion was over, so let me ask you a question instead so you can clear my confusion.

In your last post you said:

"sometimes people don't like negative posts, and sometimes people don't like positive posts, either."

That kind of covers every single type of post out there as *I* see it, but maybe you don't mean that.

What kind of posts are acceptable? Because with all the ones you've listed as not acceptable, it's hard for me to think of one that is. And I don't think you're trying to say that we should never respond to any of your friend's threads ever.

 

[Badjedidude]

...
...
...
...
@everyone in this thread:

 

[njlonelydude]

...
...
...
...
@everyone in this thread:

ROFL!

If you read my other thread, then yes I am most definitely mad all the **** time!

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^Haha glad to hear it...? I dunno if I should be happy about that or not!

lol

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi-
Getting back to the OP, I see the thread title as "I hate to be realistic, but there isn't always someone waiting for you.

Yes, there's probably no one in particular waiting for me or you or anyone here. I think that's a fact. But why do we have to have someone waiting for us to feel happy? Feeling down or pessimistic about this is a symptom of a deeper problem.

Teresa

 

[tehdreamer]

The only problem with acknowledging you're going to be alone forever is that you're essentially giving up and not letting yourself have a chance. Some people go most of their lives without finding "the one". Saying you're doomed to be alone forever just starts off a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

[brickinthewall]

Yeah indeed this is a statement that I really hate and even though I try my best to think it's true most of the time I have a hard time.

Also I hate when people talk about things such as "bla bla at your wedding" or "bla bla when you have kids". Most of the time that just gets me down and I just end up nodding and smiling because if I say anything they'll just say "why?" and than , "don't be silly".

 

[Mr. Sir]

Exactly. This is why you must hit the gym, get jacked, improve your looks, and soon everything will be better.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I have hope that I'll find someone eventually. When that is, I don't know. And how she'd react to me being dateless is also something I don't know.

I've been told before that good people find other good people. If so, why do all the bad people end up in relationships, and I'm laughed at?