I have never felt so unloved

[user 139760]

I wanted to add too, that you shouldn't put this much stock into something like Facebook. If only for this reason, that even people who might follow you might see, it doesn't mean your worst case scenario happened. Lots of other elements at play to jump to conclusions.

This is personally a reason why I have no interest in using it. It seems too automated and less personal; way too easy to misconstrue things vs simply keeping in touch one-to-one, even via email, texting, phone calls, or even in person. Etc. Harder to assume the worst too if you flat out just ask them personally.

Indeed. It's one of the things I hate the most about it.
When it started out, it was intended as a useful tool to say "hi". Only problem is it's quickly becoming the entire conversation instead...I mean it's still useful if you're very far, but do you realize there are some couples who talk more on facebook or through texting than actual talking? That can't be good.
I mean, I had a long weekend, completely unplugged to the internet or nothing. It was great. People don't really do that anymore.

 

[ABrokenMan]

When I had my facebook account, I tallied 1,000 facebook friends, give or take a few dozen.
When I decided to take a hiatus, I left my account up for a 6 months before deleting it for good. Only two of my facebook friends seemed to care enough to contact me and ask how I was doing during the hiatus. Says a lot about the superficiality of it all, don't it?

 

[wallflower79]

When I had my facebook account, I tallied 1,000 facebook friends, give or take a few dozen.
When I decided to take a hiatus, I left my account up for a 6 months before deleting it for good. Only two of my facebook friends seemed to care enough to contact me and ask how I was doing during the hiatus. Says a lot about the superficiality of it all, don't it?

I'll say, ABrokenMan. It's all about image and superficiality.

 

[morrowrd]

I changed my phone number to get rid of a stalker. And then I posted on facebook that I changed my number and to message me if you wanted it. I got a total of one message from a friend I know in person, and a comment from someone I have never met in person. I guess that I thought at the very least one of my 35 former roommates would want it. It kinda stings tho. I feel like maybe there is something incompetent about me that people I thought were my friends don't want to keep in touch with me. I guess it must be me, because what else would it be?

You get used to it.  I'm not sure how old you are, but if you're just past college age you're going to find things in the adult world much different.  Socializing has become a much different system than it was before where pretty much everything is all set up for you. And unless you're gifted with a bubbly social status and know how, you have to get creative.  Alot of people use church, the great sort of equalizer.  Although it's been 24 years since I've been a part of that world (a different topic) so things there may have changed too regarding church socializing.

In short, the rejections (no I'm busy/have to reschedule/I agree that we need to get together 'sometime') have caused me to stop initiating years and years ago.  It's been so long since I've had someone over for dinner, or anything due to my inviting them that it feels weird and awkward for me to extend invitations now.  In fact, visitors feel like intruders now.

Don't take society's dismissal of outcasts and introverts, shy people and socially dysfunctional - personal. You're in a big club, if misery loves company makes you feel any better.  Misery is probably an improper word, but that's the traditional way you say it.  Kind of like here in the northeast, bitching about this goddamn f'n winter that refuses to go away..... I feel better knowing it's not just us dealing with it.

 

[wallflower79]

I changed my phone number to get rid of a stalker. And then I posted on facebook that I changed my number and to message me if you wanted it. I got a total of one message from a friend I know in person, and a comment from someone I have never met in person. I guess that I thought at the very least one of my 35 former roommates would want it. It kinda stings tho. I feel like maybe there is something incompetent about me that people I thought were my friends don't want to keep in touch with me. I guess it must be me, because what else would it be?

You get used to it.  I'm not sure how old you are, but if you're just past college age you're going to find things in the adult world much different.  Socializing has become a much different system than it was before where pretty much everything is all set up for you. And unless you're gifted with a bubbly social status and know how, you have to get creative.  Alot of people use church, the great sort of equalizer.  Although it's been 24 years since I've been a part of that world (a different topic) so things there may have changed too regarding church socializing.

In short, the rejections (no I'm busy/have to reschedule/I agree that we need to get together 'sometime') have caused me to stop initiating years and years ago.  It's been so long since I've had someone over for dinner, or anything due to my inviting them that it feels weird and awkward for me to extend invitations now.  In fact, visitors feel like intruders now.

Don't take society's dismissal of outcasts and introverts, shy people and socially dysfunctional - personal. You're in a big club, if misery loves company makes you feel any better.  Misery is probably an improper word, but that's the traditional way you say it.  Kind of like here in the northeast, bitching about this goddamn f'n winter that refuses to go away..... I feel better knowing it's not just us dealing with it.

Thanks, morrowrd. I realize that I did seem a bit melodramatic now that I reread it. I just moved last weekend to a new place, and I am getting active in church again so I have met lots of new people. Hopefully I can come out of my shell and it will come to something.

 

[VanillaCreme]

When I had my facebook account, I tallied 1,000 facebook friends, give or take a few dozen.
When I decided to take a hiatus, I left my account up for a 6 months before deleting it for good. Only two of my facebook friends seemed to care enough to contact me and ask how I was doing during the hiatus. Says a lot about the superficiality of it all, don't it?

That's not exactly superficial. You never know what someone's going through. There have been lots of times where I personally would appreciate someone not asking me if something was wrong or if I was okay. And I know that sometimes, I feel as though it's better if I don't ask someone those questions, albeit mostly out of feeling as though I'm bothering them. So it's not always about being fake. Sometimes, people want to be left alone, and they may give off that vibe when they drop from social presence.