I have no sympathy for anyone in relationships

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Among the Sleep

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I'm sure a lot of you can relate to this, and I'm not trying to be a dick on purpose. But I really can't stand it when people complain to me about their girlfriends or boyfriends. I really just don't wanna hear it. And I know it's not fair, cause suffering is all relative, and relationships can be stressful at times if you're different people and you're trying to make something work. But when people complain about things their girl or guy does, I really just wish they'd shuttt the fresia up. It's particularly offensive to me when I'm talking to a friend of mine who knows I've never had a girlfriend.

I'm sure if I ever find one, I'll feel differently about it. I don't lack empathy to the point where I can't understand how a relationship could be stressful, I know it's not as simple as it kind of seems in my head. But all I can think of when I hear that honeysuckle is "Be happy, you have a girlfriend!". I mean, I'd give anything to have that problem. I wish I had a girlfriend to argue with. I wish I had any kind of personal relationship in my life that was important enough to try to save in a time of stress. People who have the capacity for finding love and keeping it don't know how lucky they are. That's just a basic part of the human puzzle that I don't have. That, to me, is a lot worse than your girlfriend bitching at you for talking to some other girl, or your boyfriend playing video games and ignoring you.

Without love, I feel like a light bulb that doesn't turn on, or some fuckin stupid metaphor, I dunno, the image of that in my head made more sense than that sentence did, but fresia it, POST.
 
I can't deny that having a relationship is surprisingly valuable to someone's sense of self, for better or worse.
 
Among the Sleep said:
I'm sure a lot of you can relate to this, and I'm not trying to be a dick on purpose. But I really can't stand it when people complain to me about their girlfriends or boyfriends. I really just don't wanna hear it. And I know it's not fair, cause suffering is all relative, and relationships can be stressful at times if you're different people and you're trying to make something work. But when people complain about things their girl or guy does, I really just wish they'd shuttt the fresia up. It's particularly offensive to me when I'm talking to a friend of mine who knows I've never had a girlfriend.

I'm sure if I ever find one, I'll feel differently about it. I don't lack empathy to the point where I can't understand how a relationship could be stressful, I know it's not as simple as it kind of seems in my head. But all I can think of when I hear that honeysuckle is "Be happy, you have a girlfriend!". I mean, I'd give anything to have that problem. I wish I had a girlfriend to argue with. I wish I had any kind of personal relationship in my life that was important enough to try to save in a time of stress. People who have the capacity for finding love and keeping it don't know how lucky they are. That's just a basic part of the human puzzle that I don't have. That, to me, is a lot worse than your girlfriend bitching at you for talking to some other girl, or your boyfriend playing video games and ignoring you.

Without love, I feel like a light bulb that doesn't turn on, or some fuckin stupid metaphor, I dunno, the image of that in my head made more sense than that sentence did, but fresia it, POST.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I gained any "relationship insight" I have from girls who have asked me over the years to give them advice on their relationships! Irony right there... :p

The number of girls that have talked to me about their BFs treating them poorly - it's just depressing.

Particularly irritating was a recent case for me where a male friend told me he'd been cheating on his GF. I just thought "Wait, why are you telling me this?"

Not only was it dickish of him to do such a thing, but it just seemed slightly ridiculous that he could get a relationship and hold it for a year if he didn't even care about the girl enough not to cheat. I'd just love to be in the position he was, yet he throws it away for a lame one night stand.

Then again, I guess people who have never really felt loneliness must look at relationships differently. People who are lonely tend to see more value in being around people, at least in my experience. It's a cruel twist of affairs.
 
lmao....

Its irratating just the same to hear guys ***** and moan about never having a gf
or not getting laid.

Just like my friend the other night. She clearly made reference to how she's willing
with him...a couple of times even. He never made his move. Then turn around
given 100 hundreds of reasons why he cocked blocked himself.
But he likes this other chicks..that clearly told him or gave hundreds of hints
that's she's not interested..But there he gose into playing Mr. nice guy. Playing
fetch for her...It's rediculous.
Then he gose into this honeysuckle..about how she acts differently when Mikie(me) is around.
I cant imagine why she would do that...but he ruins it for me and her.lol

So i go into this about once a week...
" i love Sassy very very much and i miss her so much"
My friend is like..."STFU!!!!"

What are friends for??/hahahahaaa
 
^No offense but I didn't understand

Anyway...OP, I can relate. I am one of the few among my girl friends that's still single (since forever too). I hate how they complain about how their boyfriend did this or that. My response? Just dump him then if you're so unhappy! When I'm in a good mood I tell them to be happy...or dump them. Gawd. Just shut up!

What's worse is when these said friends break up...and they make SUCH a big deal about being single...But they only end up being single for a couple weeks before they find the next boyfriend...who usually lasts around 2 years. I don't understand why they can't just "enjoy" single life like me....for several YEARS in a row. I've been single so long, I don't think I know how to be in a relationship. If I ever happen to meet someone compatible, I'll probably scare him away.

Then they always say there's less drama when you're single. Not true. I get a lot of crap from dudes that are confused about what they want from me (platonic vs. romantic).
 
somber_radiance said:
^No offense but I didn't understand

Anyway...OP, I can relate. I am one of the few among my girl friends that's still single (since forever too). I hate how they complain about how their boyfriend did this or that. My response? Just dump him then if you're so unhappy! When I'm in a good mood I tell them to be happy...or dump them. Gawd. Just shut up!

What's worse is when these said friends break up...and they make SUCH a big deal about being single...But they only end up being single for a couple weeks before they find the next boyfriend...who usually lasts around 2 years. I don't understand why they can't just "enjoy" single life like me....for several YEARS in a row. I've been single so long, I don't think I know how to be in a relationship. If I ever happen to meet someone compatible, I'll probably scare him away.

Then they always say there's less drama when you're single. Not true. I get a lot of crap from dudes that are confused about what they want from me (platonic vs. romantic).


The longest Ive been single is 5-6 months tops.
I like to say 1 year. If I check the actual time line, it's only around
6 months. I took the suggestion of getting to know myself and
all that good stuff....I found out I dont do very good alone.
I'll simply think too much. Then get all mental and depressed.
Plus my sexual drive is relitive still strong. Surpressing this
will also lead to depression. Sexaul fustrations.

So I'll get into relationships...hoping for the best. I know it's not
always gonna smooth sailing. Sometimes I just need to vent
or talk to someone about situations while being in a relationship.
Emotions are high and I might not see so clearly when my gf and I
are fighting.....Maybe just to vent or someone to listen to me.
I know I must work through the problems oneway or the other.
I guess that's what marriage counseling or journaling is for....
Or Im better off talking to my other friends the are in relationship
about such matters...Their more understanding becuase they'll
go through the same bullshit every so often too. But they're
bussied in their relationship ans arnt always avaliable.

fresia all my lonly single freinds that just wanna see me happy, feeling good, Or they'll complain that I've move on with my life and left thier asses behind. The other ones that are more active...will want me to go chase women with them.

So when Im in a major fight while in a relationship..
My single friends are wacked out and depressed.
My friends that are in relationships are too bussied.
I dont want to go hang out with my other friends becuase it'll sabatage my relationship.
See how a person can feel lonely or alone while in a relationship from time to time?

Bascailly the same stupid honeysuckle was happening to me even trying to use my support group.
I'll call people because I really need help or need to talk to someone....
30 sec into the phone call...Im listening to thier god **** problems.lol

fresia it...i cant count on no one other than me...anyways.
I'll just talk to myself before I check into the loonie asylum.
This way I'll really see honeysuckle and talk to GOD.lmao
 
I feel the same way. I get so annoyed when I hear people crying about this. I guess it's because I can't relate, but still. It's annoying because they don't *have* to be in a romantic relationship. Keep in mind that this is coming from someone who doesn't believe in romance and all that sappy "true love" bullshit.
The media throws this in our faces every day. You see it everywhere. You can't escape it.
 
Well, imagine dealing with your own issues as well as someone else's. I prefer being single after that thought, but you have fun with that lol.
 
I understand how it can be frustrating but in fairness in your post you've said how you feel, acknowledged its irrational and even argued against it. I don't have an issue with your point given how you've expressed it.

Common sense doesn't always mean its easy to accept.
 
You make a good point there. I don't mind the complaining, as it's a good vent to do sometimes, and I don't mind hearing it. It's when someone doesn't want to make the relationship work while the other person is trying....is where it bugs me.
 
Lonesome Crow said:
lmao....

Its irratating just the same to hear guys ***** and moan about never having a gf
or not getting laid.

Just like my friend the other night. She clearly made reference to how she's willing
with him...a couple of times even. He never made his move. Then turn around
given 100 hundreds of reasons why he cocked blocked himself.
But he likes this other chicks..that clearly told him or gave hundreds of hints
that's she's not interested..But there he gose into playing Mr. nice guy. Playing
fetch for her...It's rediculous.
Then he gose into this honeysuckle..about how she acts differently when Mikie(me) is around.
I cant imagine why she would do that...but he ruins it for me and her.lol

So i go into this about once a week...
" i love Sassy very very much and i miss her so much"
My friend is like..."STFU!!!!"

What are friends for??/hahahahaaa

something I have done in the past alot is hang around a woman who clearly isnt interested. It takes me months to forget about a woman. I usually need a new woman to think about to forget about the other one.

I don't get clear signs of interest though. That rarely happens if ever.
 
putter65 said:
something I have done in the past alot is hang around a woman who clearly isnt interested. It takes me months to forget about a woman. I usually need a new woman to think about to forget about the other one.

I don't get clear signs of interest though. That rarely happens if ever.

Well...that's what my friend dose too, actaully. He gose from one
woman to the next but never gets anywhere with them. The women
he chooses will keep him in the friendzone. And the other factor
that plays a role is that He wants a committed relationship...NOW.
Thats throwing too much at the women, Too fast.

Im actaully not that much different when it comes to needing another
woman to keep my mind off the one I love. I just chose to do it with
several women. Some are more sexaully active with me than others.
Some anrt emotionally avaliable at all to me...As Im not emotionally
avaliable to them. Im not throwing everything at them...so they're
more playful with me. The women i chose...arnt ready for a serious
commited relationship.

Idk..Putter, Women likes to flirt with me to begin with. They get really
close to me right off the bat. Lots of body contacts almost right off
the bat. Just like the other night. I simply asked to look at Charlette's
wrist. So i bascailly just held her hands. The next you know..we're rubbing shoulders.
The next thing you know...she's leaning into me
more. She'll whiper honeysuckle in my ears...ect..ect Like a magnet...closer
and closer. The next you know she's giving me a lover's type of hug.
How do I know it's a lovers's type of hug?.Ive had lovers...It's really naturual.
Bascilly Charlette Kissed me and she also had her lips against my neck as if she wants to make out with me.
Plus Im holding her hips. i pulled her in and she didnt back off.
A huge difference between a pultonic friendships type of hug.

This is how I know Monique is sexaully attracted to me. She's not the same as Charlette.
She'll simply say indirected jokes. She'll make excuses to have me come around.
The eyes contact. Plus she and I argued when we first met.lmao
We got our first fight out of the way.hahahaaa
It was her that decided to break bread with me ( make up with me ).
She'll tell me lots of personal informations right off the bat, that she would tell most people.
At dinner..she simply chose to sit next to me...instead of across from me.
Couples sit next to each other while out dinning if they're close.

Tracy taught me about breaking bread and her making excuses for me to come she her.
Thats what Tracy would always tell me after we get into a major fight...that I was an Ass-hole for
not wanting to break bread with her. Plus i would sometimes pissed her off on purpose...just to see.
No matter how pissed off she was at me. She would always call me even if to just tell me I was an ass-hole
after swearing up and down that she wont...plus she also knew that she would. Thats why I was an ass-hole.lmao
She knew she was attached to me. She'll make whatever excuses for me to go see her.

First and foremost Charlette caught me looking at her.lol
She's very pretty...she nevered turned her face from me or turned her back on me.
Then of course...the eyes contact moment.
Who made the first move? I did
She simply gave me a postive respons...
Pretty simple.....

The women that arnt interrested in me...
Well, Im like invisable to them practically, like a fucken road cone barrier or part of the furniture
in the room.lmao I dont even bother with those women other than just treating them like any
stranger I'll pass by. Say hello or HI...just to be polite...ect..ect.
These women will seldom make eyes contact with me.They'll trun thier face or back to me quickly.
Simple body language.
 
The general idea is this: Even amongst the most love-smitten couples, there are gonna be those few things they absolutely hate about each other. Those small unfavourable traits gradually intensify on the mind the closer they get to each other. Couples play it safe by bitching about those said traits to external sources(E.G: the OP), where there's little chance of backlash and reprimand. That's generally how most couples deal with each other's negative traits through the initial 1-4 months(give or take).
 
No one is perfect. Everyone has flaws. But it's the positive side what counts at the end.
 
TheSolitaryMan said:
Yeah, I know what you mean. I gained any "relationship insight" I have from girls who have asked me over the years to give them advice on their relationships! Irony right there... :p

What's the deal with people always asking for relationship advise from people who have no relationship experience? I used to always be the go to person when a relationship was going bad even though I knew nothing about what a relationship was.
 
blackdot said:
TheSolitaryMan said:
Yeah, I know what you mean. I gained any "relationship insight" I have from girls who have asked me over the years to give them advice on their relationships! Irony right there... :p

What's the deal with people always asking for relationship advise from people who have no relationship experience? I used to always be the go to person when a relationship was going bad even though I knew nothing about what a relationship was.

LMAO....
I guess u havnt heard of reading between the lines.
One of my ex used to come over and cry on my shoulders when
she gets into a fight with her husband.
[youtube]cV1dyV9d_1k[/youtube]
 
I had a friend who'd ask me for marriage advice, yet I've never been married. Sometimes it's getting an outside unbiased opinion where the person isn't going to compare their relationship to others.

It doesn't bug me too much to hear about someones relationship, unless all they ever do is complain about it, or ask for advice but never take it. That annoys me. But other than that I don't mind when people talk about their significant other. I have an employee that will talk about his, and a stalkerish ex that won't leave him alone. It's like living vicariously through someone else without having to take it home with you.
 
Yes!

I was going to make a topic about this myself today. It's all good and great that my Mum & Brother have their partners. But I honestly don't want to hear about their problems. I remind them of this quite often. In any relationship that I have had, I have never complained to anyone when I had an issue. The upside, as has been said, is that you can learn from other peoples mistakes. But I learned the golden rule ages ago. Don't go around moaning to everyone about your partner :p Lol. Thicken your skin. Then you'll be able to shrug off the onslaught of crap you may be told by people about their damned ******* partners (As they might put it to you when they moan lol)
 
I get a good laugh. When people ***** about relationships and then say You Know?. Because then I can say Actually No I Do Not. From there I make them feel awkward and guilty about bringing such a thing up. I always remind them that I have no experience and have no idea and cannot even imagine, before I give them advice.

It is also fun to talk to people who are always bitching about their mates. Especially the ones who constantly date but cannot find the right person. I just tell them to trade with me. I will constantly date and never find anyone. They can constantly be rejected and ever get a chance to find no one. That generally shuts them up.
 
AFrozenSoul said:
I get a good laugh. When people ***** about relationships and then say You Know?. Because then I can say Actually No I Do Not. From there I make them feel awkward and guilty about bringing such a thing up. I always remind them that I have no experience and have no idea and cannot even imagine, before I give them advice.

It is also fun to talk to people who are always bitching about their mates. Especially the ones who constantly date but cannot find the right person. I just tell them to trade with me. I will constantly date and never find anyone. They can constantly be rejected and ever get a chance to find no one. That generally shuts them up.

You love putting yourself down, don't you?
 

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