I just needed to say it

[bish33]

Over the years I have tried to be a good person. I don’t do volunteer work or anything like that. I believe, most people do that for the wrong reasons anyway. They just want something to put on there resumes or some type of status. I give respect where it is deserved. I try not to judge a person before I know them.

BUT,

In my mind, I am just a horrible person. I look down on others. It’s not that I think I am better than them. It’s I have to believe I am. I have been told I am conceded, arrogant, condescending and many other words that I just won’t put up. Anyone that actually knows me, knows that I am actually not like that. It’s just the way I end up coming off. I get ticked off at stupid things. For example, if I were ask you to shut off a light after you are done with it. You would shut off the light right? If you don’t I now think of you, like you need to be told everything twice. Not following simple instructions ticks me off. Even though, I do the same **** thing. Just like anyone else.

My logic in every day life isn’t complex. I firmly believe in K.I.S.S
Keep
It
Simple
Stupid

I could ***** about others and myself for way to long. There is no real point to this post I guess. Just something I had to say..

 

[Lonesome Crow]

okay..I hope this helps.
I get ya....like Larry the plumber say..."you can't fix stupid" "..lmao

Doing the samething over and over again and expecting a different
result is insanity.

I'm powerless over people...especailly retarded ones

Maybe this...acceptence is a son of a *****, acceptence is the key.
It is, what is it...(let go , turn it over....whatever your flavor).
Yeah..sometimes you gotta lower your expectations...so the blood pressure dosn't rise.

Okay...when appropriately used.
When the unacceptable becomes acceptable, when I start accecpt the unacceptable....that too is insanity
My sponsor told me to hang around positive people...and stay away from negative people.
I'm trying to better myself..so if the negative people don't like it...oh fucken well...lmao
mmmm...he gave me simple instructions...lol
Evidently if Walt Disney would had listen people that told him he can't...we wouldn't have the magic kingdom today.lol

There's always the serenity prayer...Something about I can only change myself...and the wisdom to know the differents....rather, rather.

I'm still in the process of working on facing my fears...
Fear of success..the guilt and shame and what have ya...they're subtle.
My inner dialog where conflicting..so I had to slow down and un tangle the crossed wires in my head.lol
Meditations help in this process...i notice the negative dialog or negative inner vioce going in my head.
Sometimes it's a subtle vioce...other times it's a heavy wieght feeling...as if to say..I'm not good enough
or i don't deserve to be happy..stuff like that.
That's why is seems like I'm subconsicousely messing up my life...becuase my inner critical vioce is very subtle.
KNOW THY SELF....
I also had to do a lot of reading and writing..stemming back all the way to my early childhood.
Bascailly i had a tape of my dad's vioce critisizing me all the time..he was adbrasive towards me couple
with being adandent as a child...i had a deep sense of guilt or felt i wasn't good enough.
I still react to them today to a certain degree or they go on in my thought process.
It takes time to replace those tapes...I catch myself faster or recognize them faster, today.
Bascailly..ridding of the old tapes or modify the phrasing to positve encourgement, couple
with a lot of positive re-enforments. Simple actaully.

I did a simple excersize a couple of years ago..
I went and hug a tree in front of my friend...lmao
I notice all kinds of negative inner dialog and feelings of fear, guilt and shame going inside of me.
Hugging a tree wasn't going to kill me..but it was a simple excersize to help recognize my inner vioce or dialog.
It's not that much diffent if i was to make a snow angel in a snow strom...lmao
I actaully got the suggestion from a self help book..lol

I saw a lady the other day riding a kid's bike down the ailes in wal mart...lmao
She's didn't care what anyone thought...she was laughing so hard...like a little kid..
now...if a store manager would had saw that..he would had a fit..becuase some people didn't act right..lmao

 

[heretostay]

My logic in every day life isn’t complex. I firmly believe in K.I.S.S
Keep
It
Simple
Stupid

it actually does not sound like simplicity is your philosophy at all. it sounds like your philosophy is more 'do it my way or you're an idiot.' what would have really been simple in the situation with turning off the light is if you just got up and turned it off yourself, or just didnt worry about it. that would have been simple. not worrying about others behavior is simple. but now you've resigned yourself to worry about what the other person is doing, and making them do what you want. that is complicated.

 

[SilentThinker]

For example, if I were ask you to shut off a light after you are done with it. You would shut off the light right? If you don’t I now think of you, like you need to be told everything twice. Not following simple instructions ticks me off. Even though, I do the same **** thing. Just like anyone else.

That is judgemental.To the extent of horrible,no.

Occam Razor huh.The world around here does not look simple to me.Guess everyone has their own perspective.

 

[bish33]

My logic in every day life isn’t complex. I firmly believe in K.I.S.S
Keep
It
Simple
Stupid

it actually does not sound like simplicity is your philosophy at all. it sounds like your philosophy is more 'do it my way or you're an idiot.' what would have really been simple in the situation with turning off the light is if you just got up and turned it off yourself, or just didnt worry about it. that would have been simple. not worrying about others behavior is simple. but now you've resigned yourself to worry about what the other person is doing, and making them do what you want. that is complicated.

I understand what you are saying. It's not that I want people to do it my way. It is a simple request to make of someone. It is something all house broken kids are taught at a young age. It not only I think shows something about about that person, but what they think of you. If i was ever to treat someone like an idiot, thats because they need to be treated like one. By the way the example i did use about the lights, I did get up and turn it off. The person flipped out. So it wasn't easier.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I think that your problem could be something simple: You seem to have a marked lack of patience. As someone in the same boat, I've learned to recognize it when it happens and adjust my reactions accordingly. I could be wrong about you, but your reactions to certain situations sounds very similar to the type of reaction I might have had, oh, maybe 15 years ago. I wish you luck with your dilemma.

 

[bish33]

I think that your problem could be something simple: You seem to have a marked lack of patience. As someone in the same boat, I've learned to recognize it when it happens and adjust my reactions accordingly. I could be wrong about you, but your reactions to certain situations sounds very similar to the type of reaction I might have had, oh, maybe 15 years ago. I wish you luck with your dilemma.

You are very correct when it comes down to my patience with some people. I do realize this. I also am trying to work on it.

 

[heretostay]

It is a simple request to make of someone.

lol...ya request are very simple. and if everyone complied with your requests im sure your life would be very simple. i struggled with this in life, too. its putting yourself in an "i shouldn't have to deal with this" box. you just want it to go away and be as simple as you played it out in your mind. you think things should go the way you want. but, why should they? would you do something someone else wanted if you didnt want to? you might say you would, but consider that the people you call idiots and make demands towards, they want you to stop treating them that way. do you stop just b/c that's what they think you should do? after all, that's a pretty simple request.

If i was ever to treat someone like an idiot, thats because they need to be treated like one.

now i know you can appreciate how arrogant you sound here. i think everyone has these thoughts, though. i know i do when im driving. i just get so ticked off when someone gets in my way and doenst do what i want. ive had to deal with it in my marriage, too.

you would benefit immensely by reading up on boundaries. of course you would have to want things to really get simpler, which only you can really know what it is you really want.

 

[Gothmother]

Over the years I have tried to be a good person. I don’t do volunteer work or anything like that. I believe, most people do that for the wrong reasons anyway. They just want something to put on there resumes or some type of status. I give respect where it is deserved. I try not to judge a person before I know them.

BUT,

In my mind, I am just a horrible person. I look down on others. It’s not that I think I am better than them. It’s I have to believe I am. I have been told I am conceded, arrogant, condescending and many other words that I just won’t put up. Anyone that actually knows me, knows that I am actually not like that. It’s just the way I end up coming off. ..

Voluntary work is one of the best ways of gaining experiance and confidence.
In your mind you are what you see, not what others see.
Someone with alot of barriers up and keeps well gaurded can come across as aragant and condecending and many other things too, but thats also a misconception.
Stop beating yourself up over how you come across. Just be yourself and let people see you for how you realy are.

 

[bish33]

It is a simple request to make of someone.

lol...ya request are very simple. and if everyone complied with your requests im sure your life would be very simple. i struggled with this in life, too. its putting yourself in an "i shouldn't have to deal with this" box. you just want it to go away and be as simple as you played it out in your mind. you think things should go the way you want. but, why should they? would you do something someone else wanted if you didnt want to? you might say you would, but consider that the people you call idiots and make demands towards, they want you to stop treating them that way. do you stop just b/c that's what they think you should do? after all, that's a pretty simple request.

I get what you are saying. I have to say this, if this sounded like a demand. I guess you could say it was. It was in my home, I demand respect in my home. I think you as well as anyone else will think that is a very acceptable demand. With that said I don't always stop when asked either. I know this and have stated it at least once in the thread. lol I know I do the same things I am bitching about. I do try not to ***** about them, as well as try not to be the one being the idiot. lol

 

[heretostay]

I have to say this, if this sounded like a demand. I guess you could say it was. It was in my home, I demand respect in my home. I think you as well as anyone else will think that is a very acceptable demand.

So, you demand respect in your home. My H is like that, too. I find it very odd b/c he usually gets the exact opposite of what he wanted.

 

[cosmicpsyche]

I hear both of you.

I think that your problem could be something simple: You seem to have a marked lack of patience. As someone in the same boat, I've learned to recognize it when it happens and adjust my reactions accordingly. I could be wrong about you, but your reactions to certain situations sounds very similar to the type of reaction I might have had, oh, maybe 15 years ago. I wish you luck with your dilemma.

I worked long and hard to deepen my patience.
Yet it is not only that. It really is about remembering to keep things simple. I think we all wish life could be simple. It starts to blow up when we are faced with factors we cannot control. I think for many people here, we are intellectuals, rationalizers, and have very strong, sometimes overpowering, 'logic muscles'. You can satisfy yourself for very long amounts of times proving to yourself that your logic is infallible because it has helped you control every variable and get the desired outcomes of every situation you have encountered. Yet even for such a person, the heaven and hell of our world is that we are really never isolated, no matter how much of a hermit you think you are, (even a lab 100 floors underground ) and just our interconnection with people alone, inevitably introduces factors which you will not yet be equipped to control, making what should be simple, according to previous experience, instead billow out into chaos before your eyes, making you feel frustrated, and worse, anxious and depressed.

I found it has been helpful to remember Cesar Milan, the dog whisperer. He says we must all strive to remember life really is simple, because all people have a tendency to complicate matters through our rationalizing. His approach to rehabilitating people to be better dog owners involves a lot of mindfulness and constantly practicing to act in a calm and assertive manner, no matter what is happening. This approach is suitable for all aspects of life, no matter who you are. Feeling calm and assertive involves knowing you have controlled all the factors THAT ARE WITHIN YOUR CONTROL, and wisely recognizing what factors that ARE NOT IN YOUR CONTROL that you will let go of. I find the key to inner peace has been to get to know how you typically react to those tricky uncontrollable factors (including 'limited', or as I prefer to think of it as 'developing', intelligence, of yourself, and of others). You have to teach yourself that you simply cannot internalize the uncontrollable and then waste your precious energy talking negatively to yourself about how weak and powerless you are over them. I have learned the hard way that it is a waste of your energy and does not help you function and inhibits you from simply being your true self, when you try to control things that simply are not within your territory to control. Sometimes this realization involves humbling yourself, to acknowledge that you just aren't as powerful in some ways as you used to imagine. But I have found by allowing yourself the time to wisen up through experience, letting go of what you can't control only helps you use your power to its maximum potential anyway, so in the end, you can find the way to be your true self in all your glory, and really know how powerful you really are.

 

[heretostay]

Sometimes this realization involves humbling yourself, to acknowledge that you just aren't as powerful in some ways as you used to imagine.

very true. this is one thing i struggle with.