I know this girl...

[joeha]

I've been living in isolation for a good while now. I leave my apartment when I need to, but I try not to mess with the "3d" world when it's unnecessary. So anyway This neighbor girl I have that lives in the apartment 2 doors down and across the hall from me. Her dog leash broke off her dogs collar, and her dog ran away. I was worried about the dog, so I whet out looking for it. I couldn't find her, so I comforted the girl because she was crying. We ended up drinking together that night which I was ok with, I had an ok time I did miss out on some anime and I didn't get to talk about it the next day on an anime forum I belong to. That was ok though. The next morning I was about to leave for work and I saw a dog that looked like the one she described. It didn't trust me so it ran, but I corned it, got bit (not bad) , but caught the dog and I brought it to her. To thank me she made me lunch the next day. I really think things are getting out of hand. She invited me to a festival or something at her work, I have to wave at her every time I see her, she text me wanting to do things all the time.

I have nothing against her. I think she looks good, she takes care of herself, she's kind. The problem is I was not wanting to justmeet a girl out of bl;ue just because I have a soft spot for animals. She is ruining everything in my life. She even cleaned my house! that was sooo embarrassing! Showed up at my work, and my coworkers went "whohoho" I can tell she's lonely, but not the kind of lonely I am. She is trying to make friends and I really respect that, I just don't want it to be me.. I just wish I she would find someone else. I cant find away to tell her I just don't want to be around people. I know most of it is just me being scared of her, but I just want to end this now. How can I end this little phase of my life? Doyou think it would be worth it to just be friends with her, and let her know I don't have time for people? Does anyone know anyway I can stop being friends with her without hurting her feelings? This has turned my life upside down. If I wouldn't have registered on this site yesterday I would have had no one to tell all that to.
sigh..... I've been wanting totalk about this forawhile now.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I can appreciate solitude, but why is it that you seem to be actively hermiting and eschewing the opportunity to meet someone nice? I mean, ironically, you just said earlier that you'll like something fantastical to happen and you can't deny that on some level, its almost like the plotline of a sappy anime.

I think it would be safe to be friends with her, but explain that you are busy at times. Keep interaction at a level that you're comfortable with, and you can escalate it or deescalate it where appropriate.

 

[joeha]

I can appreciate solitude, but why is it that you seem to be actively hermiting and eschewing the opportunity to meet someone nice? I mean, ironically, you just said earlier that you'll like something fantastical to happen and you can't deny that on some level, its almost like the plotline of a sappy anime.

I think it would be safe to be friends with her, but explain that you are busy at times. Keep interaction at a level that you're comfortable with, and you can escalate it or deescalate it where appropriate.

I've thought about it being an like a sappy anime. I thought of that a lot. I honestly think that's why I cant get it out of my head. The thing is I I dropped out of school, stopped talking to most of my family, and I only see the best of my old friends every long often. I'm scared of getting sucked into normal life by her, and now I don't really have anything to offer her. If I happened to get hurt by her then I'll be alone, but I wont be able to say it's because I want to be, and then I bet sappy anime wouldn't do it for me. That's why I think it would be better not to take the chance. I think the advice you've given me is my only option though. Maybe when she see how boring I am she'll just stop talking to me on her own.

 

[Lonely in BC]

On the other hand if she was a selfish b***h who would have barely said thanks never mind make you lunch, clean your apartment, and treated you with some kindness your story likely would have been something that validated your decision to minimize your contact with real people due to their lack of appreciation for the little things you've done......

I wouldn't be surprised if years down the road you'll be on a site (maybe even this one) bemoaning the fact that a real sweet girl made more than a modest effort to engage you and that you've always regretted letting her slip away.

Just saying.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

Is it so bad to feel awkward saying hello?

Coworkers giving you the razz? It's just a celebration, nothing more.

She cleaned your house? Meh, embarrassing, sure. But we're all pretty much the same human animal.

I can only say if you do figure out a way to rid your life of her... After it's done with, it won't seem as hard as it did before hand, and you'll end up missing all those little awkward moments and interruptions.

I hope you figure out how not to figure this one out, good luck!

 

[IgnoredOne]

I've thought about it being an like a sappy anime. I thought of that a lot. I honestly think that's why I cant get it out of my head. The thing is I I dropped out of school, stopped talking to most of my family, and I only see the best of my old friends every long often. I'm scared of getting sucked into normal life by her, and now I don't really have anything to offer her. If I happened to get hurt by her then I'll be alone, but I wont be able to say it's because I want to be, and then I bet sappy anime wouldn't do it for me. That's why I think it would be better not to take the chance. I think the advice you've given me is my only option though. Maybe when she see how boring I am she'll just stop talking to me on her own.

It just seems a little weird that life is actually giving you an opportunity for something interesting and exciting, and you're recoiling from it. How I've always treated life /was/ in a way, to consider myself a character in a story and given that, how to approach life under the microscope of a writer.

Why not embrace opportunities and see where it might lead you?

 

[joeha]

Good points. I know I might have sounded pretty stupid... This is the most exciting thing that happened to me in a while. Thursday I will go to the festival, and then I will see how that goes and tell you guys about it if you want to hear about it. OK.. One big problem. I lied and said I still go to msu. I don't go to school anywhere now! I don't know what I'm going do about that. If someone lied to you about that, then told you the truth would you hate them? I did it just to keep conversation rolling, but she will just think I said it to look cool. I have to tell her sometime, but I don't know how to do it. That's actually the biggest problem of all.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Everyone lies, you can probably mention you took a breather later on, because everyone needs a break now and then. Being a college student makes you destitute, not cool, btw.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

So real life aint fantacy.

But hey,
It's most guys fantacy' s to meet
Nice babe....
Just keep on doing what ya doing.
Itll wear off on her soon.

Aint nothing like a nice woman
To come into my life and mess with
my messed up routine.
I gatta go changing for the better.

Life is weird like that dude...
Plenty of women landed on my lap..
At least you know what i am talking
About. Some dudes just don't get it.

 

[Lonely in BC]

Everyone lies, you can probably mention you took a breather later on, because everyone needs a break now and then. Being a college student makes you destitute, not cool, btw.
[/

Didn't like the way that sounded when I said I second the notion. What I meant to say was not elaborate on it too much and should there be some type of relationship going into the future have a more in depth discussion regarding the matter. Relationships built on deceit- no good.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

A relationship is like a plant dude.
If you dont water it..itll die.
Too much water and sunshine
Will kill it too...

Shes giving you too much sunshine already.lol

 

[joeha]

Your right, and I have to tell her sometime no matter what. Now maybe I wont be afraid of the walk from my apartment to my car. haha. I've been thinking a lot tonight, and sometime since I've been hermiting I've lost the ability to socialize. Sometimes I feel like the most awkward guy now. I think being sociable is a lot like a fire, or something you have to keep adding fuel to or else it goes out. You ever notice how during times when you have to be more sociable for what ever reason work, school ect. it just comes naturally in general. It really is just an acquired skill.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Your right, and I have to tell her sometime no matter what. Now maybe I wont be afraid of the walk from my apartment to my car. haha. I've been thinking a lot tonight, and sometime since I've been hermiting I've lost the ability to socialize. Sometimes I feel like the most awkward guy now. I think being sociable is a lot like a fire, or something you have to keep adding fuel to or else it goes out. You ever notice how during times when you have to be more sociable for what ever reason work, school ect. it just comes naturally in general. It really is just an acquired skill.

Like riding a bike. You'll pick it up soon enough again.

Why, might I ask, the desire to entirely avoid 'normal' life? I put that in quotes since normalcy is such a vague and often difficult area to define.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Dont worry dude.
Chicks told me they went out
on a date with their dorky neighbour
Cause they djdnt know WTF they were
doing at the time...
Women talk their heads off on dates
Or in bed.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Dont worry dude.
Chicks told me they went out
on a date with their dorky neighbour
Cause they djdnt know WTF they were
doing at the time...
Women talk their heads off on dates
Or in bed.

No one cares what you think.

 

[LoneKiller]

Please don't take this the wrong way joeha, I don't mean to sound nosy, but that night when you and her shared a few drinks, did you sleep with her?

 

[joeha]

Your right, and I have to tell her sometime no matter what. Now maybe I wont be afraid of the walk from my apartment to my car. haha. I've been thinking a lot tonight, and sometime since I've been hermiting I've lost the ability to socialize. Sometimes I feel like the most awkward guy now. I think being sociable is a lot like a fire, or something you have to keep adding fuel to or else it goes out. You ever notice how during times when you have to be more sociable for what ever reason work, school ect. it just comes naturally in general. It really is just an acquired skill.

Like riding a bike. You'll pick it up soon enough again.

Why, might I ask, the desire to entirely avoid 'normal' life? I put that in quotes since normalcy is such a vague and often difficult area to define.

I think people are honeysuckle. One time I went to the hospital and stayed there a little more than a year. After I got out I had to make all new friends, I never existed. When I stopped believing in god my church friends I had so many good times with avoided me like the plaque, When I stopped going to school everyone ditched me, my friends started ignoring me, my family made fun of me. I started being alone and just watching anime and found a new happiness. It's the happiness of not having to prove yourself, of having no standard, of being free to slack off and do what your really want to do, it's the nobility of living as the only person alive. I don't want to get ditched again. I don't want to send text that don't get replies, I don't want to pass by old friends on the street and see the top of their heads because they're looking at the ground to avoid me. I HATE how I can be the most popular guy ever one year and then be some sorry loser the next. I hate seeing movies and reading books about life long friends and star cr4ossed lovers, when I cant find even one person who will stick by me during the hard times. most of all I hate how good I am at making friends only to end up alone every time because of something I cant help. I think people are honeysuckle. I love dogs tho.

---

Please don't take this the wrong way joeha, I don't mean to sound nosy, but that night when you and her shared a few drinks, did you sleep with her?

No. I could see that look in her eyes that she wanted to, but I was planning on ditching her at the time and I didn't want to make her sad later on. Instead We played poker. It was a lame suggestion at the time, but I think we both ended up having a better time because of it.

---

Dont worry dude.
Chicks told me they went out
on a date with their dorky neighbour
Cause they djdnt know WTF they were
doing at the time...
Women talk their heads off on dates
Or in bed.

No one cares what you think.

I've been on plenty of dates and had ladies in my bed. The things they told you all depend on the situation.

 

[LoneKiller]

Your right, and I have to tell her sometime no matter what. Now maybe I wont be afraid of the walk from my apartment to my car. haha. I've been thinking a lot tonight, and sometime since I've been hermiting I've lost the ability to socialize. Sometimes I feel like the most awkward guy now. I think being sociable is a lot like a fire, or something you have to keep adding fuel to or else it goes out. You ever notice how during times when you have to be more sociable for what ever reason work, school ect. it just comes naturally in general. It really is just an acquired skill.

Like riding a bike. You'll pick it up soon enough again.

Why, might I ask, the desire to entirely avoid 'normal' life? I put that in quotes since normalcy is such a vague and often difficult area to define.

I think people are honeysuckle. One time I went to the hospital and stayed there a little more than a year. After I got out I had to make all new friends, I never existed. When I stopped believing in god my church friends I had so many good times with avoided me like the plaque, When I stopped going to school everyone ditched me, my friends started ignoring me, my family made fun of me. I started being alone and just watching anime and found a new happiness. It's the happiness of not having to prove yourself, of having no standard, of being free to slack off and do what your really want to do, it's the nobility of living as the only person alive. I don't want to get ditched again. I don't want to send text that don't get replies, I don't want to pass by old friends on the street and see the top of their heads because they're looking at the ground to avoid me. I HATE how I can be the most popular guy ever one year and then be some sorry loser the next. I hate seeing movies and reading books about life long friends and star cr4ossed lovers, when I cant find even one person who will stick by me during the hard times. most of all I hate how good I am at making friends only to end up alone every time because of something I cant help. I think people are honeysuckle. I love dogs tho.

---

Please don't take this the wrong way joeha, I don't mean to sound nosy, but that night when you and her shared a few drinks, did you sleep with her?

No. I could see that look in her eyes that she wanted to, but I was planning on ditching her at the time and I didn't want to make her sad later on. Instead We played poker. It was a lame suggestion at the time, but I think we both ended up having a better time because of it.

---

Dont worry dude.
Chicks told me they went out
on a date with their dorky neighbour
Cause they djdnt know WTF they were
doing at the time...
Women talk their heads off on dates
Or in bed.

No one cares what you think.

I've been on plenty of dates and had ladies in my bed. The things they told you all depend on the situation.

---

---

The reason I asked is because even after casual sex has taken place, some wake up the next morning with feelings, and can be very hurt
if you don't feel the same way.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I think people are honeysuckle....

People are disappointing, I will give you that, and it helps to remember that we too are often subject to the same fallacies we accredit to others. And I think that there is something, too, to be said that in an increasingly fast-paced world where attention deficiency seems to be the rule rather than the exception, that friendships have become even thinner. It can be even tougher when its something like religion which many define themselves significantly around; your rejection of it would be read directly or indirectly as a fundamental rejection of them.

But as silly as it might sound as I'm sure you have heard of it before, it is not always like that. Behind every story is a writer and a scenario that he has to some extent or another borrowed from some aspect of his life and soul; and insofar as such, some people can be more fundamentally loyal.

And who knows, this girl might just be different. Certainly she seems to care for her puppy at lot, and there might indicate someone who's essence is more caring.

I will say that popularity and endurance are two distinctly different things, though. I'm rarely popular, and my most enduring friends are hardly the popular ones, but rather the ones that I've had something fundamentally in common.

 

[joeha]

Your right, and I have to tell her sometime no matter what. Now maybe I wont be afraid of the walk from my apartment to my car. haha. I've been thinking a lot tonight, and sometime since I've been hermiting I've lost the ability to socialize. Sometimes I feel like the most awkward guy now. I think being sociable is a lot like a fire, or something you have to keep adding fuel to or else it goes out. You ever notice how during times when you have to be more sociable for what ever reason work, school ect. it just comes naturally in general. It really is just an acquired skill.

Like riding a bike. You'll pick it up soon enough again.

Why, might I ask, the desire to entirely avoid 'normal' life? I put that in quotes since normalcy is such a vague and often difficult area to define.

I think people are honeysuckle. One time I went to the hospital and stayed there a little more than a year. After I got out I had to make all new friends, I never existed. When I stopped believing in god my church friends I had so many good times with avoided me like the plaque, When I stopped going to school everyone ditched me, my friends started ignoring me, my family made fun of me. I started being alone and just watching anime and found a new happiness. It's the happiness of not having to prove yourself, of having no standard, of being free to slack off and do what your really want to do, it's the nobility of living as the only person alive. I don't want to get ditched again. I don't want to send text that don't get replies, I don't want to pass by old friends on the street and see the top of their heads because they're looking at the ground to avoid me. I HATE how I can be the most popular guy ever one year and then be some sorry loser the next. I hate seeing movies and reading books about life long friends and star cr4ossed lovers, when I cant find even one person who will stick by me during the hard times. most of all I hate how good I am at making friends only to end up alone every time because of something I cant help. I think people are honeysuckle. I love dogs tho.

---

Please don't take this the wrong way joeha, I don't mean to sound nosy, but that night when you and her shared a few drinks, did you sleep with her?

No. I could see that look in her eyes that she wanted to, but I was planning on ditching her at the time and I didn't want to make her sad later on. Instead We played poker. It was a lame suggestion at the time, but I think we both ended up having a better time because of it.

---

Dont worry dude.
Chicks told me they went out
on a date with their dorky neighbour
Cause they djdnt know WTF they were
doing at the time...
Women talk their heads off on dates
Or in bed.

No one cares what you think.

I've been on plenty of dates and had ladies in my bed. The things they told you all depend on the situation.

---

---

The reason I asked is because even after casual sex has taken place, some wake up the next morning with feelings, and can be very hurt
if you don't feel the same way.

---

---

I really know what you mean! That's exactly why I choose not to. She is a really nice person, and I wouldn't want her to feel like that because of me. Maybe I have a crush on her. haha don't tell.

---

I think people are honeysuckle....

People are disappointing, I will give you that, and it helps to remember that we too are often subject to the same fallacies we accredit to others. And I think that there is something, too, to be said that in an increasingly fast-paced world where attention deficiency seems to be the rule rather than the exception, that friendships have become even thinner. It can be even tougher when its something like religion which many define themselves significantly around; your rejection of it would be read directly or indirectly as a fundamental rejection of them.

But as silly as it might sound as I'm sure you have heard of it before, it is not always like that. Behind every story is a writer and a scenario that he has to some extent or another borrowed from some aspect of his life and soul; and insofar as such, some people can be more fundamentally loyal.

And who knows, this girl might just be different. Certainly she seems to care for her puppy at lot, and there might indicate someone who's essence is more caring.

I will say that popularity and endurance are two distinctly different things, though. I'm rarely popular, and my most enduring friends are hardly the popular ones, but rather the ones that I've had something fundamentally in common.

I can tell your a wise one. I think at this point i'M dead set on letting this woman into my life. I have been thinking about her throughout the day for days now. I'm just really worried. I don't want to get rejected.