I Love You

[Haz]

These are powerful words.

The last girl I was into said this to me regularly, but when she told me she was seeing someone and I felt my heart break in two, she seemed shocked when I told her how I felt. What is even worse, is that she had been regularly visiting and sleeping with the guy for months and only just decided to tell me that she thinks she "likes him".

I don't get it. I'm over it and it has been a long time since we've talked but I keep thinking of this, my perception of women has been pretty strongly shaped through her. It is as if she could just go from guy to guy and love them all, but act surprised when one of them gets hurt or jealous because of it. I can't claim to know anything about dating scenes or what city girls get up to, but the promiscuity makes saying "I love you" seem insincere and silly.

Is this immaturity on her part, or mine? She claimed she wishes things were more simple, but y'know, that is exactly what my problem is. I'm adventurous, and certainly willing not to live by a code of strict, traditionalist rules when it comes to relationships but still i'm not ashamed of being a romantic at heart. I always keep those words for a truly special someone, and it is the worst feeling when the impact of them just seems to be devalued for one reason or another

 

[argosgold]

EVERYone says it now. The same way EVERYONE puts kisses at the end of texts, chat, emails and the rest. It annoys me. It devalues the word, the feeling....

I'm really sorry for you man. You don't deserve that. I guess, not knowing all the details, no-one but you can really make a sound judgement on who's right/wrong, anything else is conjecture.

 

[SkuzzieMuff]

It's not you. If she's going to be the kind of slut to sleep around, that's her problem. The only thing I've noticed in regards to relationships that really needs improvement in our general society, is that everyone takes everything so quickly. No one takes time to build a relationship with a person before they start dating, before they start saying "I love you", before they start sleeping together. How can you tell someone that you love them, when you don't really KNOW them. Why jump into a relationship with someone that you don't really know that well, only to spend 6 months together and break up because you realize you can't stand each other.
I can't say I'm not guilty of this. All of my relationships thus far have gone along with the same pattern as everyone else. But mostly because I fall very easily to pressure. I've vowed to change this, so it doesn't happen anymore.
So, I've been trying to convince as many people as I can (or really, by doing this I'm actively convincing myself.) that it is very valuable to take time in a relationship. Maybe try this next time. That way, you don't develop such strong feelings, and then the ******* slut runs off with someone else, only to break your heart.
I mean, really. What's a horror movie without suspense? It's just a bunch of people getting slaughtered randomly. Relationships work the same way. Without suspense, it's just a bunch of meaningless sex.

 

[Limlim]

Oh don't get me started on the I love you bit. Every girlfriend I've had said it way too early for my liking (within 1-2 months) and then you have to say it too because then you've just put them on the spot and shits going to go downhill from there.

 

[A Desolate Soul]

To me, the words "I love you" and "I'm in love with you" have totally different meanings. For example, I tell my close friends regularly that i love them, but i'm certainly not in love with them. catch my drift? I've only been in love once and to my own demise, the feelings weren't mutual :/ but we learn and grow from these kind of things. it could be a matter of maturity, but i think it's more of a matter of compatibility. hopefully next time when a girl says she loves you, you'll know in which way she means it.

 

[blue_azure]

Haz, I can empathise with you.

The first guy I dated or at least I think it was a date, said "I love you" a lot and for some reason I believed him. Gosh, let's just say the pain when I detached myself from him was unbearable. It was only a year ago but the months I took to heal felt as though it was 3 years. When I felt like I needed a hug, when I wanted someone to hold my hand, I thought of him. But I knew separating myself from him was for the best and it really is.

Cheer up! I went through this and became a stronger person. So will you.