Lombax
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- Mar 8, 2012
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A group of students of a higher grade than me go out to dinner every Wednesday. I work with a lot of these students and am in some classes with them, and there is one guy in the group, Fletcher, who I am trying desperately to befriend. Because I work with some of these people, I have been given an open invitation to join them, even though I am not officially part of their grade or group.
Last week I decided to go with them, as it was my birthday and I really wanted to do something fun. I also thought it would be a good social challenge for myself, and I may get the opportunity to talk to Fletcher.
When I got there, I had a stroke of luck! I arrived at the same time as Fletcher and I was able to sit across from him at the table. His friends were talking about something, so I snagged the opportunity to talk with him for a while. It took a lot of guts, but I decided t go for it. However, once his friends entered our conversation, they totally dominated it and I couldn't get a single word in for over an hour. I have a really hard time interrupting people, and they were all talking a mile-a-minute and interrupting each other.
So I ended up sitting there awkwardly, but I did smile and listen politely the whole time. After a while, one of Fletcher's friends rudely rolled his eyes and gestured toward the door with his head, indicating that he wanted the group to leave. They all did, and none of them said goodbye to me or anything.
I feel like I made them all uncomfortable and ruined their evening, and that they don't like being around me. Once they left, I felt like crying. I am so tired of being awkward and twisting my politeness into guilt. Why can't I just talk to people?
I really want to be friends with Fletcher, and we share so many interests. I know we'd be good friends if I could just manage to talk with him like so many other people do. Now I am afraid he and his friends hate me and think poorly of me because I am "weird" and awkward.
(I am really surprised that Fletcher didn't try to include me in the conversations or anything, as he is usually a really sweet guy. Maybe he suffers from social anxiety in some situations as well? If so, that is another reason that we could be friends! )
So, is it me? Did I do the wrong thing? How can I fix this?
Should I just appreciate my gift to clear a room without saying a word? XD
Last week I decided to go with them, as it was my birthday and I really wanted to do something fun. I also thought it would be a good social challenge for myself, and I may get the opportunity to talk to Fletcher.
When I got there, I had a stroke of luck! I arrived at the same time as Fletcher and I was able to sit across from him at the table. His friends were talking about something, so I snagged the opportunity to talk with him for a while. It took a lot of guts, but I decided t go for it. However, once his friends entered our conversation, they totally dominated it and I couldn't get a single word in for over an hour. I have a really hard time interrupting people, and they were all talking a mile-a-minute and interrupting each other.
So I ended up sitting there awkwardly, but I did smile and listen politely the whole time. After a while, one of Fletcher's friends rudely rolled his eyes and gestured toward the door with his head, indicating that he wanted the group to leave. They all did, and none of them said goodbye to me or anything.
I feel like I made them all uncomfortable and ruined their evening, and that they don't like being around me. Once they left, I felt like crying. I am so tired of being awkward and twisting my politeness into guilt. Why can't I just talk to people?
I really want to be friends with Fletcher, and we share so many interests. I know we'd be good friends if I could just manage to talk with him like so many other people do. Now I am afraid he and his friends hate me and think poorly of me because I am "weird" and awkward.
(I am really surprised that Fletcher didn't try to include me in the conversations or anything, as he is usually a really sweet guy. Maybe he suffers from social anxiety in some situations as well? If so, that is another reason that we could be friends! )
So, is it me? Did I do the wrong thing? How can I fix this?
Should I just appreciate my gift to clear a room without saying a word? XD