I might be too complex/complicated to be loved...

[somber_radiance]

I don't feel like one person. I see myself has many, many personas, ranging from very shy, gentle, loving to vain, slutty, and violent....and so much more. I don't think it's a multiple personality disorder...just a bunch of contradicting alter egos. Each person that meets me sees a different set of personas. Many guys are interested in me at first because I seem so mysterious....but after several weeks, months of trying...they realize I'm just too complex to figure out...and kind of fade out. I think I'm only good for shallow, fair-weather-friend relationships....maybe that's why I'm still single to this day.

Am I alone in feeling like I'm too complicated? I don't even understand myself yet. How am I suppose to expect others to "get me" ...if I don't even get myself?

 

[Frito Bandito]

You are Legion!

 

[somber_radiance]

You are Legion!

Haha...that makes a lot of sense actually. *evil smile*

 

[grainofrice24]

People always say that you have to love yourself before others will love you...I guess that's just harder for some than for others.

 

[DrFlashman]

I know what you mean. Every girlfriend of mine has told me, at some point: "You're a different person than when we met."

My guess is, you're not too complex to be loved. If you're a functioning member of society, I'm sure there's someone out there for you. Maybe you are the one who needs to take the first step and know what it feels like to really love someone. I'm 32, and I've been in many relationships, and I STILL feel like I'm working through this issue.

Another thing is, don't be too self absorbed. That will only isolate you. I spent a lot of time moping about because I was "too weird/complex/eccentric" and just not wired for a real, loving relationship. That's not true in my case, and I highly doubt it's true in yours. As I said, I think the key is opening up to someone, knowing what it's like to love someone. Take the risk. Even if it doesn't work out, you will have learned something.

 

[Limlim]

What changed your mind on that DrFlashman? I ask because I sometimes think I am a pretty huge oddball who a girl would have to be insane to stick with.

 

[DrFlashman]

What changed your mind on that DrFlashman? I ask because I sometimes think I am a pretty huge oddball who a girl would have to be insane to stick with.

Hahaha...I don't know! It's still a work in progress. Finding the right person helps, too...

 

[somber_radiance]

My guess is, you're not too complex to be loved. If you're a functioning member of society, I'm sure there's someone out there for you. Maybe you are the one who needs to take the first step and know what it feels like to really love someone. I'm 32, and I've been in many relationships, and I STILL feel like I'm working through this issue.
....

That's not true in my case, and I highly doubt it's true in yours. As I said, I think the key is opening up to someone, knowing what it's like to love someone. Take the risk. Even if it doesn't work out, you will have learned something.

I think got a taste of falling in love for the first time in my 22 years of life. But, I didn't realize what I was feeling was love until he left me. It was such a scary but euphoric feeling...it brought out my nurturing instincts and made me want to do things for him I'd never thought I'd be willing to do for anyone (other than really close family members).

It really did take a lot of opening up though...something I don't do easily. I just wish I understood what I was feeling and didn't keep trying to deny it. But what's past is history, now that I've had a taste...I know what to look for in the future...and next time I won't let him go so easily.

 

[IambicBlonde]

You'll figure it out, somber. And the older you get, the more one or two personas will stand out above the rest and it will become clearer. As long as you're honest with yourself, that is. It also helps to realize what kind of person you're attracted to and that you attract. But that also changes. Some of us are more complex than others due to our backgrounds/experiences. It's good to have perspective on your own in that regard, as well. Whatever the case I wish you well.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I have accepted that I'm a lot less strange than I used to be, but I'm still very strange.

In essence, I guess I have to accept my individuality, coupled with my singlehood, or I have to simplify myself in order to be accepted.

I choose the former, but if I get lonely enough, I may someday choose the latter.

 

[MadMonkè]

I would never be in love with a 1 dimensional character.
(obviously because technically its a dot - but you know what i mean?)

I feel the biggest part of being in love is... mutual self discovery... what you find awful about yourself is usually not what others see...

Its just a journey you share with someone... you just havent met anyone on the same path/wavelength yet.

 

[Equality7-2521]

I would never be in love with a 1 dimensional character.
(obviously because technically its a dot - but you know what i mean?)

I feel the biggest part of being in love is... mutual self discovery... what you find awful about yourself is usually not what others see...

Its just a journey you share with someone... you just havent met anyone on the same path/wavelength yet.

Totally going to have to agree with that statement.

Besides being one dimensional makes it dull, and ever predictable.

To me anyway variety is the spice of life... Well that's the saying anyway.

 

[UBIK]

You may be difficult to figure out, but you are not unlovable. You have rapidly changing dynamics too your personality. Truly ask yourself whether you are truly complicated or if you are just muddying the waters of your perception. There is someone out there wondering where you are right now and feeling the exact same thing. If you really are that complex, then make the work it takes to get to know worth the effort for that special person. Work hard to get to know them as well. Try sharing your passions with people, not just your moods. You will feel the difference.

 

[crowtching tiger]

Oh you're complex huuhhhh?! Bet I can crack the codee.

 

[Lost for now]

I guess the knowing yourself part comes with time.

Finding a guy, however, isn't something you can be assured of. For some it's easy, they know it right at the first moment. Others have to get over their fears. Don't be too harsh on yourself. We are all in ourselves mysteries to be solved. Take chances, trust a few if not many people, even if your experiences in the past have been the opposite (took some time to realize it, but I know what I'm talking about here).
And most of all, be easy on yourself. Do what makes you happy, that way at least one person will be happy in the world.