ardour
Well known loser
According to Myers-Briggs I'm consistently INFP-T after testing a few times. Apparently the most common 'lonely' personality type is the low agreeability, low openness spectrum type.
But a disagreeable individual is at least more likely to succeed in their career and can come across as assertive, slot in somewhere.
It seems like the worst combination for men is actually agreeableness + low conscientiousness (i.e. laziness) combined with neuroticism and a desire for approval - the last two being utterly repellent.
For a while I thought my social failures were the result of bullying and trying to fit into the wrong crowd as a young person, but during the last few years of going to various geek hobby meetups, it turns out I have general problems relating to others. A lot of them didn't like me either. I suspected as much. I think a few of them considered me unintelligent and there wasn't as much in common as I assumed. At least with those arseholes 20 years ago you knew where you stood.
I'm in the habit of 'reaching out' too frequently with suggestions for activities. It's often poorly timed. I loathe this about myself. On the other hand people have hinted I seem uninterested in others, so no winning there, basically. It's probably as simple as a lack of reading situations well and adjusting accordingly. (Social skills 101 again.)
One online female acquaintance told me "you are making people hate you!" I resented it at the time but see what she meant. But chances to develop a more stable identity past university are infrequent. At this point it feels like you're what you'll always be and the fact I'm struggling with the same problems I did as a teenager doesn't leave room for much hope.
I'd need to toughen up somehow if I wanted to make something of this wretched middle-aged existence but the opportunities aren't there.
But a disagreeable individual is at least more likely to succeed in their career and can come across as assertive, slot in somewhere.
It seems like the worst combination for men is actually agreeableness + low conscientiousness (i.e. laziness) combined with neuroticism and a desire for approval - the last two being utterly repellent.
For a while I thought my social failures were the result of bullying and trying to fit into the wrong crowd as a young person, but during the last few years of going to various geek hobby meetups, it turns out I have general problems relating to others. A lot of them didn't like me either. I suspected as much. I think a few of them considered me unintelligent and there wasn't as much in common as I assumed. At least with those arseholes 20 years ago you knew where you stood.
I'm in the habit of 'reaching out' too frequently with suggestions for activities. It's often poorly timed. I loathe this about myself. On the other hand people have hinted I seem uninterested in others, so no winning there, basically. It's probably as simple as a lack of reading situations well and adjusting accordingly. (Social skills 101 again.)
One online female acquaintance told me "you are making people hate you!" I resented it at the time but see what she meant. But chances to develop a more stable identity past university are infrequent. At this point it feels like you're what you'll always be and the fact I'm struggling with the same problems I did as a teenager doesn't leave room for much hope.
I'd need to toughen up somehow if I wanted to make something of this wretched middle-aged existence but the opportunities aren't there.
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