I Need Affection

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LonelyGuy1

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One of my main reasons for seeking a relationship is to have the chance to experience romantic affection for the FIRST TIME in my life.

I just want to find her so we can hold hands, kiss, dance together, and cuddle on the couch watching a movie. All of the more sexual contact will happen later, but seriously, just having someone to hold hands with and do all of the other little things that most people got to experience when they were teenagers (I'm 34) will be absolute HEAVEN for me.

I'm so tired of being left out. SO TIRED OF IT.

I need some human contact of the romantic variety.

I ready a story online of a woman who was experiencing a 'dry spell' with no one in her life. She wasn't used to sleeping alone, so to compensate, she would pile the blankets in her bed at night, and imagine that it was someone. I have to say that I've done the same thing. I close my eyes and imagine that the woman I've waited for is right there with me. I'm not exactly proud of it, but I really can't stand sleeping alone anymore. Not that I know how it feels to have someone sleeping beside me, of course, but I'm so tired of not having anyone.

It's amazing how badly I can want something that I've never had, but that may be WHY I want it so badly now.

To those of you who can relate, how do you cope with not having any affection? It's REALLY starting to get to me. I yearn for the touch of a woman.
 
LonelyGuy1 said:
One of my main reasons for seeking a relationship is to have the chance to experience romantic affection for the FIRST TIME in my life.

I just want to find her so we can hold hands, kiss, dance together, and cuddle on the couch watching a movie. All of the more sexual contact will happen later, but seriously, just having someone to hold hands with and do all of the other little things that most people got to experience when they were teenagers (I'm 34) will be absolute HEAVEN for me.

I'm so tired of being left out. SO TIRED OF IT.

I need some human contact of the romantic variety.

I ready a story online of a woman who was experiencing a 'dry spell' with no one in her life. She wasn't used to sleeping alone, so to compensate, she would pile the blankets in her bed at night, and imagine that it was someone. I have to say that I've done the same thing. I close my eyes and imagine that the woman I've waited for is right there with me. I'm not exactly proud of it, but I really can't stand sleeping alone anymore. Not that I know how it feels to have someone sleeping beside me, of course, but I'm so tired of not having anyone.

It's amazing how badly I can want something that I've never had, but that may be WHY I want it so badly now.

To those of you who can relate, how do you cope with not having any affection? It's REALLY starting to get to me. I yearn for the touch of a woman.

How do I cope ?

Well every 3 months or so, I go and pay for half an hour with a woman. It's a very poor substitute and fake but at least it's something.
I'm not proud of it but what else can I do ?
Like yourself, I am always left out. Everybody else it seems has someone. All over there is some ****** with some other ****** and everybody is happy for them. Myself ? I am just a ******* joke figure to make fun of. Nothing changes 16 or 46 - women don't like me, never have. End of story.
 
I gave up searching for "the one" many years ago. Was never any good at chatting women up in bars, always felt very uncomfortable with that scenario; very contrived, very false. I've had girlfriends and sex, but they weren't keepers, just sexual experiences.

As I've got older those sexual experiences have become extinct. I'd like to meet that special someone, someone to share the remainder of my life with, but have discovered that women on dating sites are just as phony as women in real life. Sometimes it's hard not to be a misogynist.
 
LonelyGuy1 said:
One of my main reasons for seeking a relationship is to have the chance to experience romantic affection for the FIRST TIME in my life.

I just want to find her so we can hold hands, kiss, dance together, and cuddle on the couch watching a movie. All of the more sexual contact will happen later, but seriously, just having someone to hold hands with and do all of the other little things that most people got to experience when they were teenagers (I'm 34) will be absolute HEAVEN for me.

I'm so tired of being left out. SO TIRED OF IT.

I need some human contact of the romantic variety.

I ready a story online of a woman who was experiencing a 'dry spell' with no one in her life. She wasn't used to sleeping alone, so to compensate, she would pile the blankets in her bed at night, and imagine that it was someone. I have to say that I've done the same thing. I close my eyes and imagine that the woman I've waited for is right there with me. I'm not exactly proud of it, but I really can't stand sleeping alone anymore. Not that I know how it feels to have someone sleeping beside me, of course, but I'm so tired of not having anyone.

It's amazing how badly I can want something that I've never had, but that may be WHY I want it so badly now.

To those of you who can relate, how do you cope with not having any affection? It's REALLY starting to get to me. I yearn for the touch of a woman.

I coped with alcahol and porn. I am now charged with giving both of those up.

I thought you hetros just signed up to plentyoffish or whatever and kept going on dates until something clicked?
 
LonelyGuy1 said:
One of my main reasons for seeking a relationship is to have the chance to experience romantic affection for the FIRST TIME in my life.

I just want to find her so we can hold hands, kiss, dance together, and cuddle on the couch watching a movie. All of the more sexual contact will happen later, but seriously, just having someone to hold hands with and do all of the other little things that most people got to experience when they were teenagers (I'm 34) will be absolute HEAVEN for me.

My feelings exactly.
 
I think everybody wants to feel loved. I have a difficult time making friends, so finding someone to be in a relationship with would be even harder. Sometimes I feel really sad about it, I think that no one will ever be interested in me, other days I think I'll be alright on my own, I would like to meet someone eventually though. I'd like to know what it feels like to be in love with someone and be loved back. Hopefully it will happen one day :)
 
OnlyMe said:
LonelyGuy1 said:
One of my main reasons for seeking a relationship is to have the chance to experience romantic affection for the FIRST TIME in my life.

I just want to find her so we can hold hands, kiss, dance together, and cuddle on the couch watching a movie. All of the more sexual contact will happen later, but seriously, just having someone to hold hands with and do all of the other little things that most people got to experience when they were teenagers (I'm 34) will be absolute HEAVEN for me.

My feelings exactly.

Me too.

I understand it all too well. 38 and can't remember what a hug is like (and never been hugged by someone I wasn't related to anyway). I've never held hands with a girl, let alone had my first kiss yet. And I've pretty much always been told that I never will ....

For no real reason, apparently, except that I'm me. Or that every other guy isn't me. It gets sickening when someone thinks they are being helpful (or funny) by telling you that you should be proud to be still single and a virgin, that you're not missing anything anyway. Well, I would like to find out for myself, thanks.

And I large part of what we seek is the emotional affection. Not just the physical and sexual. And you can't 'buy' that. I don't know, maybe I'm weird, but, I just want to know what it's like to share affection with a woman who actually wants to share it with me too.

Why is that so much to want and ask for?
 
sadly, i can relate to a certain degree. it's been 2 years, if not more, since i last had a hug, since i felt loved, any form of emotional affection. sure, i had sexual partners, but thats it. and it hurts like a *****, because everyone says "you're just 21 you'll find the one". i did, but everything was against us, and in the end i lost her. And it sucks even more, because it feels that that was it for me, she was the perfect woman.

you know, love is like a bad drug, while you're "tripping" you're the happiest person in the world, but when it's over, you're a mess, and you crave more, so badly...

Now, sexual desires can easily be covered by paying, I never had but my friends do, or go for a fully physically date, no attatchments.

But the OP is pretty clear that he means emotional affection, and tbh thats what most of us want and value more. A person to love, to hold and feel their warm touch on us, to love all the little things they do or say, to just look in their eyes and feel secure, feel like there is nothing else but them.
I'll stop myself here before I keep on ranting and make me more depressed

I personaly can't cope with it, especially when I feel that I lost "my match".
i try to tell myself that someone else will come, and I try to meet as many people as I can, not flirting with everyone and anyone, but trying to make/meet friends and make sure that I dont miss anything.
I try to chat with friends a lot, so I can take my mind off of it, to fill that gap with friendship. But its not working.

I really believe we all got our "other half" out there waiting for us, that there is 1 person for all of us
I just hope it's more than 1 ):
 
Erevetot said:
sadly, i can relate to a certain degree. it's been 2 years, if not more, since i last had a hug, since i felt loved, any form of emotional affection. sure, i had sexual partners, but thats it. and it hurts like a *****, because everyone says "you're just 21 you'll find the one". i did, but everything was against us, and in the end i lost her. And it sucks even more, because it feels that that was it for me, she was the perfect woman.

you know, love is like a bad drug, while you're "tripping" you're the happiest person in the world, but when it's over, you're a mess, and you crave more, so badly...

Now, sexual desires can easily be covered by paying, I never had but my friends do, or go for a fully physically date, no attatchments.

But the OP is pretty clear that he means emotional affection, and tbh thats what most of us want and value more. A person to love, to hold and feel their warm touch on us, to love all the little things they do or say, to just look in their eyes and feel secure, feel like there is nothing else but them.
I'll stop myself here before I keep on ranting and make me more depressed

I personaly can't cope with it, especially when I feel that I lost "my match".
i try to tell myself that someone else will come, and I try to meet as many people as I can, not flirting with everyone and anyone, but trying to make/meet friends and make sure that I dont miss anything.
I try to chat with friends a lot, so I can take my mind off of it, to fill that gap with friendship. But its not working.

I really believe we all got our "other half" out there waiting for us, that there is 1 person for all of us
I just hope it's more than 1 ):

There is more than 1 man...there are a handful of people in the world you can meet and connect with. They are just ******* difficult to find. It's coming up to 4 years for me now....time just flies by. It's bad I probably wont ever make a connection like I had all that time ago again...I haven't met anyone even close. You know though I have changed so much since and maybe i'll find someone better...just think that may be a possibility. You can only try and keep going...I feel like i've put a halt on that search indefinitely. Going out to hang out with people, socialise, a dating site or two has burnt me out...Its hard enough to get a date let alone anything else.
 
When i was young (Im 45) I used to think how do my mother and my grandma cope with not having any affection, any human touch, any hug? At that moment i was maybe 26-30 years old and of course with bf (I had bf´s since my 13) and i thought that will never happen to me. I was wrong....im in the same boat of my mom and my grandma :(
 
It's good to fantasize about the romantic aspects of a relationship, about everything being rosy and perfect, but experience has taught me that women sense this and are repelled by it. Plus, relationships nowadays are mostly a lot of struggle and fights for a little amount of happiness now and then. I don't want to put you off, but you must be realistic in what you will actually get from a woman.
 

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