i quit.

[dn560]

im done with everything, i quit this school, i quit this family, i quit this life , i quit everything. tired of nothing working out, tired of being sick and helpless, tired of always have the world get the better of me, im tired of people laughing at me when i struggle. life hasnt been fair to me no matter how much i try to put honeysuckle together no matter how much i try to make things better for myself i just end up making myself look like a bigger ass in the end. guess im born to be a failure im inching closer and closer to taking my own life cuz i dont see a reason to live anymore.

 

[Despicable Me]

Just give yourself a break and some more time. Don't create expectations for yourself, just be who you are. Nothing more and nothing less. If you don't live up to other people's expectations then that's completely on them. No one's fault but their own.
Just don't worry about things so much. From what I've seen from your posts, you create a lot of pressure and unnecessary stress on yourself that just makes everything worse. If you learn to deal with that issue and channel it into something more productive I believe you'll find you can succeed at many things.
Just give yourself another chance.

 

[Peaches]

I know so well how you feel...I havent read many of your posts (will do that now) but what I can say is that when one is so upset, there is some possibility that one isn't thinking too straight, and that things might in fact not be so black and white (don t mean to be patronizing, myself I am experiencing a period of 100% black and white, and I wish I could take my own advice), what I mean is that you need to take a break from all this despair and just be, simply exist, among the ruins and crumbles (real or perceived) of your life, and take a rest, and see how you feel once your nervous system has taken a rest.
And remember, if you see the Earth from the Moon there is no such thing as being an ass, bigger or smaller . Really, probably no one even noticed, not even down here. Hug.

 

[QuesT]

dn560: What would your "dream life" look like?

 

[dn560]

dn560: What would your "dream life" look like?

my dream life would be to wake up every morning with a smile on my face and nothing goes wrong, i feel well and not wishing or thinking about killing myself.

 

[Despicable Me]

dn560: What would your "dream life" look like?

my dream life would be to wake up every morning with a smile on my face and nothing goes wrong

Doesn't everyone wish that? No one really gets it, though.
We should all try to focus on what is realistically achieveable. Setting our expectations too high can and always will eventually let us down. The higher you hold that bar the more that drop hurts.

i feel well and not wishing or thinking about killing myself.

These are, however, problems that may be solved. So it would be realistic to focus on these two things.

So ask yourself: Why do you not feel well? Why do you think about killing yourself?

If you don't know the answers to those questions, there are people who can help you with that. Counselors, therapists, or psychiatrists are trained to help you identify such issues when you are unable to identify them yourself. If you don't have access to those people, try finding someone you trust to talk to. Talk to them about your problems and ask if they might help. Sometimes it can be very hard to open up to someone else, but it's a necessary first step to resolving the issues.

If you do know why you feel this way then strive to do your best to tackle that problem head on. Conquer it, defeat it. Do not let it defeat you.
If you fall down, get back up again, dust yourself off, and try again. No one succeeds all the time. People who succeed have often learned to do so only through experiencing many failures. We learn from our mistakes. We learn what not to do because that shows us where the narrow field of success is. We learn from those failures to stay between the lines as much as possible. And life has many turns so it's not possible to always do that.

You seem to just be having a few problems getting started on that track. That's no problem, a lot of people do.
Like I said before, just give yourself another chance. And if that doesn't work out, give it another, and another, and another. Not every bird flies the first time out of the nest.