I tried

[Phantom]

I took the advice of trying to do something but it all came to a halt. I tried calling somebody to hang out this past weekend and he never called back. I also tried sending a message to another friend on facebook regarding another matter and he hasn't written back. I'm starting to feel as if what I say doesn't matter and everyone has better things to do than to deal with me. I guess I can understand because I'm not that interesting, fun, or useful. I feel worthless.

 

[Mr. Sir]

I took the advice of trying to do something but it all came to a halt. I tried calling somebody to hang out this past weekend and he never called back. I also tried sending a message to another friend on facebook regarding another matter and he hasn't written back. I'm starting to feel as if what I say doesn't matter and everyone has better things to do than to deal with me. I guess I can understand because I'm not that interesting, fun, or useful. I feel worthless.

Yeah man, I've felt like this before and it's a shitty feeling. I just had an awesome weekend, but for some reason honeysuckle blew up in my face behind my back and now I'm looking over my shoulder 24/7.

When honeysuckle like this happens you just need to go into solipsism mode and bury yourself with a parttime job and a workout routine. It's really the best you can do. Just ******* work all the time and lift weights all the time and you'll feel better.

Then try again in the social chess game.

 

[Shine]

don't take these things to personal! thats what people do all the time...most of the times it's nothing personal. most important is to keep trying, do you go to school? try things like the gym/sportsclub, or maybe find a new job where alot of younger people [students, if that is your age group off course] work. and also do not rush things! if you just met someone don't be too pushy, some people will find this somewhat anoying.

 

[blackwave]

I've had the same feeling recently. I'm trying to rebuild a social life, and people tell me they would like to hang out, but never get back to me, and if I try and get back to them they are always 'busy'. fresia, at least be honest and say you don't give a honeysuckle about me and don't particularly want to hang out with me. It feels like such a ******* hopeless quest, I'm tempted to just give up, if you catch my drift.

 

[LGH1288]

Wow, some people seem too give up so easily around here. Take a lesson from Thomas Alva Edison; that dude never stopped trying. And, how about making a phone call for a change of pace; the emails and the "farcecrap" take all the dynamic humanity out of interpersonal communications. It's much easier for the lazy crowd to hide behind digital excuses not to interact.

 

[Brian]

When honeysuckle like this happens you just need to go into solipsism mode and bury yourself with a parttime job and a workout routine. It's really the best you can do. Just ******* work all the time and lift weights all the time and you'll feel better.

I worked 30 hours of overtime a couple weeks ago.

thirty hours.

Then I slept for an entire day.

It's amazing how few problems you have when you don't have time to worry about them.

 

[floffyschneeman]

I've felt like this when my friends started working and I was left at school to finish some incomplete subjects. Sometimes I wanna scream at them to give me even a bit of attention but that would just make me a clingy, cry baby whom no one wants as a friend. I tried to keep the feelings to myself but it just made me feel sorry for myself which I think is the worst feeling one can probably start to develop (as it would make you think of things to destroy yourself). I think the best you can do is (like everyone above is saying) find something to focus on. Keep yourself busy like your friends are. But always try to reach out to them like during weekends. Also try to make new friends whenever you get the chance. Don't give up and don't ever fall into self-pity and self-hate. *hugs*

 

[Phantom]

I appreciate your advice but I'm a little scared of making myself busy. I recently came out of a REALLY stressful life and I don't want to go back or go through something similar. Should I still try?

 

[spectacles]

Yes! Keep on trying! Never give up Making friends its not that easy, u have to be patient.

 

[Psycrow]

Yes..give up the facecrap and go knock on ther doors until they opens or spontan buy a 6 pack and go visit the nearest freinds.

maybe be kind one day and tell a mate if he or she want to see a movie and you pay for the ticket.

 

[Brian]

Well, of course you keep trying.

Keep pushing your friends. Don't ask if they want to 'do something'...instead, decide on something to do and see if they want to come along. Then you can practice your leadership. Even if they don't want to, you've tried to make the assertion. Then, go do it anyway.

If you're going to busy yourself (and you should, because we enrich our lives by being active, by doing and exploring and learning), do it with things you enjoy. Or explore new things to see if you enjoy them. I said I worked 30 hours of overtime a few weeks ago. I didn't do it because I had to, or because I need the money (though, I do like the money)..I did it because I love my job and going to work is a joy for me. But, there is another side to that sword: a flavor often tasted soon becomes bland, and there are many courses on the table. Tonight I was out with my girlfriend and they called to see if I could come in for coverage. I politely declined, which I haven't done for a while. But it was the right thing to do at the time.

Two years ago I realized that I didn't really have enough interesting, fun hobbies. I got in to my schedule at my new job and all I did with my off time was come home, sleep, browse 4chan and play video games. I realized that watching the rest of the world turn was the epicenter of my depression. Video games were fine, and 4chan is fine, but I had no variety, and it was crippling me. It limited me as a person. It gave me very little to share with other people. It gave me no room to grow.

The second best thing I've done in these two years was to buy a mountain bike. Boom, like that. Did some research, "sure, sounds good", went to the bike shop...talked to the guy, and bought one. Had never been mountain biking...but it was worth it because I wanted to try it just because.

And...I love it. Not only do I love it, but it's healthy for me, challenges me...and as it turns out, my new Captain bought a bike when he moved up here, and now we have plans to go riding. He doesn't like me because I brown-nose...he likes me because I make myself capable, and I have a zest for life that made me try this new thing. And because of that, we have the potential for a friendship outside of work.

Build a zest for life, involve yourself in new things. It will attract people. It takes a seemingly long time to actually build the foundation, but you can do it. Just be persistent.

Things are hard. Things will never actually be easy. You need to have something to fall back on...a significant other really isn't it. As humans, they are fallible and they may not support you. They may become -unable- to support you. We need a 'sanctuary', of sorts, within ourselves. Religion is a common solution to this and this need is at the base of religion and faith. Cycling was the second best thing I did for myself; the first best thing was opening myself to the possibilities of my forefathers, that which held them strong through countless hardships and abject horrors, which has survived deliberate attempts at obliteration by the most powerful people in the world. It works for me. It has made me stronger, as it has hundreds if not thousands of others.

I'm not going to preach to you or tell you what to do in this regard, unless you want me to tell you more in which case all you have to do is ask. But, as I said, there are a thousand ways to wal mart and there are a thousand ways to anchor yourself and have a last line of defense against hardship, stress, and outright despair. Whatever it is for you, however complex or simple it need be, find it. Don't let fear guide the decision. But explore, think, and find it.

 

[Mr. Sir]

I appreciate your advice but I'm a little scared of making myself busy. I recently came out of a REALLY stressful life and I don't want to go back or go through something similar. Should I still try?

Is this a joke? If you don't have a job and a workout regime, you are disqualifed from the dating game. It is a man's job to be a protector and a provider, so if you don't have a job (provision) or a workout (protection), then you don't serve your purpose as a male. The two are MINIMUM requirements for dating game participation.

 

[Phantom]

I appreciate your advice but I'm a little scared of making myself busy. I recently came out of a REALLY stressful life and I don't want to go back or go through something similar. Should I still try?

Is this a joke? If you don't have a job and a workout regime, you are disqualifed from the dating game. It is a man's job to be a protector and a provider, so if you don't have a job (provision) or a workout (protection), then you don't serve your purpose as a male. The two are MINIMUM requirements for dating game participation.

I'm not talking about dating. I'm talking about making friends in general.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Intuitivelly u already know what u must do....

asking why try???
thats beuase ur depression has its grips on u already. Ur in a fog.

So..keep it simple.