I'm a girl...and I'm a geek...

[WHY]

I'm a girl, I do webdesign, I watch Star Trek and I laugh at the IT Crowd, I prefer going rock climbing and treetop trekking to an elliptical machine. I HATE GYMS! Guys consider me a geek and find me cool but I find nothing in common with girls. I'm married so having close guy friends now is out of the question and I find girls just don't get me and find me weird. Am I weird just because I find guy stuff more fun and interesting? How do i make friends now??

 

[evanescencefan91]

lol i'm sorry i'm actually pretty similar i love videogames and the sci-fi channel.
wow cool you're a rock climber thats gotta be fun, i really don't have the upper arm stregnth for that kind of stuff

whats treetop trekking? sounds fun though

oh hey i got a joke for you too, there are 10 types of people in the world thouse who understand binary code and those who don't

XP lol

ya i know people often find me weird as well, one time i actually dated a nerd and he taught me how to play Dand D
lol he was pretty sweet i kinda miss him

 

[WHY]

LOL...good one...I've heard that one before but see...to me it's funny everytime but if I told that to about 90% of the girls they would think I didn't know how to count.

Treetop trekking is amazing. I tried it for the first time in Switzerland and the following summer they opened one close to me. Here's a link with photos so you can see what it's about. I find it's better to work out doing something new and fun than to sit in a sweaty gym watching tv. http://treetoptrekking.com/en/index.php?option=com_zoom&Itemid=110&catid=1

My husband is a complete computer genius and yes we do a lot of geek things together but I mean how much time can you spend with one person? We both run businesses out of our home and so we see eachother 24/7 and other than him I have no one else except my mom to spend time with...he has his guild on his computer games...but I like to sometimes go out and do sports and he doesn't...I like to dance and I'd love to take dancing lessons but that is even worse! LOL...

You sound like you really miss that guy...why did you guys break up...if it's not too personal.

And thanks, it's nice to know there are other girls who are interested in the geeky stuff. Do you consider yourself a geek? I tell you...when people call me a geek, I get upset but only on the outside because on the inside I'm actually proud of it. You?

 

[evanescencefan91]

ya i do consider myself a geek, i just kinda smilie and say ya, i know when people ask me that.

we idunno, we both decided to be just friends, i wasn't really knowledgable about relationships, though sometimes in the summer i kinda wanted to get out, and do some outdoorsy stuff, but he was more into just doing videogames in the basement all day long. And and although i do love time doing that stuff, i don't like doing it all the time, so it got kinda boring but then we really didn't hang out anymore. So thinking back on it maybe i probably wouldn't have decided to be just friends cause then i'd have someone to hang out with and you know have someone be there you. So i feel kinda bad about that.

oh wow so is that like extreme tree climbing i would love too do that sometime.

ooooh i love dancing, though i'm not very good about it, i love ddr and i;m all about dancing in pajamas late at night, when i'm home by myself. i'd love how to learn to like breakdance or something that would just be fun.

I also love to rave, though i've like only done it once. I have sandstorm on my ipod and sometimes when i'm listening to my ipod on shuffle and it comes on i just loose it and just bust out dancing, though it's not really the same without all the colored lights

 

[Dragon]

I'm a girl, I do webdesign, I watch Star Trek and I laugh at the IT Crowd, I prefer going rock climbing and treetop trekking to an elliptical machine. I HATE GYMS! Guys consider me a geek and find me cool but I find nothing in common with girls. I'm married so having close guy friends now is out of the question and I find girls just don't get me and find me weird. Am I weird just because I find guy stuff more fun and interesting? How do i make friends now??

The only thing that sounds weird to me is that being married means that you can't have close guy friends now.
I'm a geek. I'm married to a geek. I have close female friends and she has close guy friends. We trust each other and love each other and know that good friends are rare and special and their gender should never be an issue. Talk to your husband. Learn to trust each other and explain that you need friends like you, be them male or female or other.

 

[WHY]

I think a wedding ring kind of turns guys off and I didn't say guy friends over all but I don't think it would be right to get close enough to a guyfriend to tell him all my deepest feelings and count that he will listen without developing feelings. I honestly don't believe a guy and girl can be REALLY close friends without at least one developing feelings for the other. A guy will not spend the time listening to some poor girl complaining about how lonely she is without expecting something back...am I right?

 

[Punisher]

A guy will not spend the time listening to some poor girl complaining about how lonely she is without expecting something back...am I right?

I did exactly that, but it wasnt me that wanted something back.
We dont speak anymore because of it, its quite sad really

 

[Dragon]

I think a wedding ring kind of turns guys off and I didn't say guy friends over all but I don't think it would be right to get close enough to a guyfriend to tell him all my deepest feelings and count that he will listen without developing feelings. I honestly don't believe a guy and girl can be REALLY close friends without at least one developing feelings for the other. A guy will not spend the time listening to some poor girl complaining about how lonely she is without expecting something back...am I right?

I don't think so... I have really close female friends. we love each other but not romantically. we don't want our relationship to change. Some of them are married too, and their husbands are close friends as well. It's true that sharing your inner most feelings is going to create feelings - but they're not necessarily romantic feelings. There are many guys and girls who know and want to be a good friend without expecting anything back except that you be a good friend too.
If you want - then you can talk to.... me?
I am both far away and married. As safe as ice-cream...

 

[WHY]

LOL thanks...To most girls ice cream is never safe and how do you know you're far away...for all I know you could be my neighbor.

So why are you on here Dragon? You seem to have some nice friends which I think you're very lucky cause it's hard to find friends like that.

 

[Silvernight]

You sound like a lot of fun to me. Yes, I suppose, by conventional standards you would be considered "weird", which means simply different. But what's wrong with that? "Normal" girls who care about girly stuff are boring like hell anyway, so I don't think you're missing out on much. Why is having guy friends out of question? Marriage shouldn't be like prison sentence for life, and marriage partners aren't each other's exclusive property.

 

[Dragon]

LOL thanks...To most girls ice cream is never safe and how do you know you're far away...for all I know you could be my neighbor.

So why are you on here Dragon? You seem to have some nice friends which I think you're very lucky cause it's hard to find friends like that.

That's exactly it. For all we know... which makes us further away then a person who lives across the globe but you DO know
Distance is not merely the number of miles...

Why am I here? Loneliness has many faces. While I have some nice friends I find it near impossible to open myself up to them. I'm reserved, closed. I'm here to teach myself openness and trust, and hopefully to help.

Friends are very hard to create. I don't think they're hard to find. Good people are everywhere I think. But making yourself a friend to them and making them yours is very hard. That's part of why I'm here. There are other parts but they'll have to wait. I'm still working on opening up...

 

[WHY]

my problem is that I was too open and trusting. To me, when I met a friend I opened up to them and many times people opened up to me but I knew how to keep what they said to myself and I never ever used that against them. BUT they did...friends that I thought were my best friends turned out to be spilling everything I would tell them and the worst part was that they would take things out of context and add stuff to it. In the end it all just came crashing down on me and my reputation that I ended up just cutting myself off from all my friends thinking I'd make a new start. It never happened because now I look at every person as a potential trader. To me it's like this ... the less I tell them about me, the less a chance to have them hurt me. no? I guess we suffer from the same symptoms eh?

The nice thing about the forum is that no one knows me and I can say whatever I feel and I know no one will be able to use that against me.

 

[Dragon]

my problem is that I was too open and trusting. To me, when I met a friend I opened up to them and many times people opened up to me but I knew how to keep what they said to myself and I never ever used that against them. BUT they did...friends that I thought were my best friends turned out to be spilling everything I would tell them and the worst part was that they would take things out of context and add stuff to it. In the end it all just came crashing down on me and my reputation that I ended up just cutting myself off from all my friends thinking I'd make a new start. It never happened because now I look at every person as a potential trader. To me it's like this ... the less I tell them about me, the less a chance to have them hurt me. no? I guess we suffer from the same symptoms eh?

The nice thing about the forum is that no one knows me and I can say whatever I feel and I know no one will be able to use that against me.

similar ones at least. There were a few people I tried opening up to, but only two have not misused it. one is my wife and the other is my best friend (yes - she's a girl ). the others have betrayed my trust and I closed up even further. So I know what you're talking about. "The less I tell them, the less a chance to have them hurt me" is added to "If they don't know me then it's not the real me they reject" and others like it and together they create a nice little wall to keep you alone. A wall which I'm working very hard to break.
Anonymity helps a bit when you need to have a few things off your chest or advice. This forum is great in that respect.
If you want to talk in IM though - I'm here too.

 

[Sylver]

Hope you don't mind my stepping into the conversation..

Why, you sound like a great person who is a *lot* of fun to hang around!

As a girl geek myself, I know that sometimes it can be really hard to fit in.. And my protective streak wants to find all of these old friends of yours and teach them *exactly* what they did wrong..

I, too, tend to be overly trusting of people, though while this has on occasion gotten me in trouble, it hasn't changed how I behave.. (Maybe I just take longer to learn from things, who knows?)

I recently had a very amusing conversation with my aunt.. When I told her that I'm hanging out at a friend's place and my fiance decided he wanted to stay at home, she told me I should patent my relationship ideas and teach them to the world. Basically, he and I love and trust one another, but we also understand that we cannot be the entire world for the other. He has friends and so do I and sometimes we'll want to see them alone. Or sometimes we'll want to do something that the other is less interested in. Since we trust each other, there's no problem!

Amusingly, most of my friends are guys - and this neither gets in the way of the friendship nor worries my Man.. Being close to someone doesn't mean you're promising anything, so there shouldn't be any problem with being close to a guy and not wanting anything but closeness from the relationship. And if the guy gets the wrong idea - tell him it's the wrong idea. Usually they can get over it pretty easily, especially if it's obvious you love your husband. (Which it is, by the way! )

Hugs!

 

[Skorian]

I am curious about the home buisnesses. You run web pages or something and make money with advertising?

Not being a huge fan of heights. Rock climbing and tree treking SCARES me. I would latch onto something and stop moving.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I'm a girl, I do webdesign, I watch Star Trek and I laugh at the IT Crowd, I prefer going rock climbing and treetop trekking to an elliptical machine. I HATE GYMS! Guys consider me a geek and find me cool but I find nothing in common with girls. I'm married so having close guy friends now is out of the question and I find girls just don't get me and find me weird. Am I weird just because I find guy stuff more fun and interesting? How do i make friends now??

The only thing that sounds weird to me is that being married means that you can't have close guy friends now.
I'm a geek. I'm married to a geek. I have close female friends and she has close guy friends. We trust each other and love each other and know that good friends are rare and special and their gender should never be an issue. Talk to your husband. Learn to trust each other and explain that you need friends like you, be them male or female or other.

I was wondering the same thing... Marriage means that you can't have any close guy friends? But, overall, you seem pretty cool to me. I'd rather play video games. There are lots of us girls who rather do guy stuff than girly stuff. Plenty of girls you could make friends with.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I think a wedding ring kind of turns guys off and I didn't say guy friends over all but I don't think it would be right to get close enough to a guyfriend to tell him all my deepest feelings and count that he will listen without developing feelings. I honestly don't believe a guy and girl can be REALLY close friends without at least one developing feelings for the other. A guy will not spend the time listening to some poor girl complaining about how lonely she is without expecting something back...am I right?

I thought the same... But then a friend of mine who was a girl started to like me, and I realized there really was no difference. It all depends on the person. And I felt bad, but she knew I didn't date girls. :<

Not only that, I've been close to a guy before, and neither one of us liked each other in that way. And we never expected anything in return of being a good friend for each other. We haven't talked in a long time... He became busy with school and work. The last time I talked to him was about his wedding, and I have spoken to his wife before. She's a cool person.

 

[SilentThinker]

It is quite the opposite thing for me.I am a guy and geeky but I find it hard to make friends with guy than girl.

For me,I first studied about the person and tried to understand him or her then make friends.
What is the person like?
What do he or she do normally?
Is he or she the type of person who can be trusted?