Alonewith2cats
Well-known member
I'm going to tell you about a situation I'm in that may appear on the surface as if I don't have the right to feel lonely and sad, that I should just be grateful for what I have and stop feeling lonely. But it really is true that no one person can satisfy all your needs for feeling connected and some people can make you want space, specifically from those types of people while you long to connect with others. You see, as lonely as I am, I'm also independent and I don't want to suck any energy from anyone and I don't want anyone to do that to me. I have no problem going places and doing things alone and I believe the way to love people is to set them free, be there for them, see them regularly but don't suffocate them with too much of your company. I don't do BFF type friendships, I find them suffocating. Another thing is I don't like to talk on the phone for too long, after 30 minutes of listening to yakety yak, I gotta go. I like to see people more than I like to talk on the phone.
I have a friend, I'll call her Rose (and I hope she never reads this). I like her. I really do. I value her friendship and will keep it but I have a limit of how much of her I can handle before I require distance from her. She calls me A LOT!. She likes to talk on the phone A LOT! She makes plans to go to the movies with me on many Sundays which is cool but I don't want to go to the movies with her every Sunday. She has been upset with me on some occasions when after having lunch with her and seeing a movie with her I wanted to go home and didn't want to accompany her to Target or hang out with her at Wallmart while she gets a pedicure. I don't understand this. I would rather go somewhere I want to go or do something I want to do alone than have someone go somewhere with me they don't want to go or do something with me they don't want to do. And it doesn't upset me at all to part ways when I want to go here and they want to go there. It's fine. Another thing I will do is make plans to go somewhere I really want to go on a Saturday or whenever and be perfectly fine with it if someone doesn't want to go with me. I have my freedom and let others have theirs. I'm just independent like that (I'm lonley and independent, does that make sense?) I sometimes don't answer my phone when she calls because I don't want to talk to her all the time. I always call her back later. I find it too much when after I've just spent a day hanging out with her she calls me again that night. I find her to be somewhat needy. And I don't consider her the solution to my loneliness because she is just one person and I feel this need to find other people to connect with besides her. I understand quality over quantity when it comes to friendships, you don't need many friends, just a few quality friendships. But she is not enough for me and sometimes she is too much.
I have a friend, I'll call her Rose (and I hope she never reads this). I like her. I really do. I value her friendship and will keep it but I have a limit of how much of her I can handle before I require distance from her. She calls me A LOT!. She likes to talk on the phone A LOT! She makes plans to go to the movies with me on many Sundays which is cool but I don't want to go to the movies with her every Sunday. She has been upset with me on some occasions when after having lunch with her and seeing a movie with her I wanted to go home and didn't want to accompany her to Target or hang out with her at Wallmart while she gets a pedicure. I don't understand this. I would rather go somewhere I want to go or do something I want to do alone than have someone go somewhere with me they don't want to go or do something with me they don't want to do. And it doesn't upset me at all to part ways when I want to go here and they want to go there. It's fine. Another thing I will do is make plans to go somewhere I really want to go on a Saturday or whenever and be perfectly fine with it if someone doesn't want to go with me. I have my freedom and let others have theirs. I'm just independent like that (I'm lonley and independent, does that make sense?) I sometimes don't answer my phone when she calls because I don't want to talk to her all the time. I always call her back later. I find it too much when after I've just spent a day hanging out with her she calls me again that night. I find her to be somewhat needy. And I don't consider her the solution to my loneliness because she is just one person and I feel this need to find other people to connect with besides her. I understand quality over quantity when it comes to friendships, you don't need many friends, just a few quality friendships. But she is not enough for me and sometimes she is too much.