angel_in_view
Well-known member
- Joined
- Aug 31, 2011
- Messages
- 45
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Hi Everyone. I am hoping to get some helpful info from this site. I just happened to stumble upon it. I look forward to talking w/others on here. 
-I'm posting this message bc I feel as if I just cannot find my purpose in life. I feel like somewhere along the way I lost my bearings and I just don't know how to get to a happy place all around. Let me explain:
- I am 39 yrs old & have a very sweet & understanding husband. About a year ago, I lost my job bc the small business I was working for had to close. They couldn't survive in the economy crisis. A couple of months after my job ended, my husband had a job transfer to another State. Luckily, it was a State we had previously lived in before. So we weren't total strangers to it. We've settled in and things in that sense are okay. I am trying to look for a job (like thousands of others), but can't get anything. Its been hard for me because I am used to working outside of the home. I've been babysitting to help out a family member, but the more time that goes by, the more worthless/sad/depressed I feel. I've talked to my husband about it and he just keeps telling me we have to have faith that things will work out eventually (jobwise) and if it doesn't, we are fine financially. He says this because we are very careful w/our money. We don't throw away every $ that comes in. Before I lost my job, we basically lived off of his check and my check was for savings, debt snowball (Dave Ramsey) & occasional fun (movies, dining out, etc). That allowed us to be in a position now where we have no car payments and no student loans. So I'm thankful we lived like that. I have told him that I understand what he is saying, but I'm talking about how I feel as a person. I was raised by two parents that worked and they instilled that in me. I never had the mindset/goal that I was going to "grow up and be a housewife." I'm not saying there's anything wrong w/that, but that's not what I experienced growing up.
I just feel "less important" than our friends. We have friends that work and I just feel unimportant when we are around them. They sit around talking about job related things and I have nothing in that area to contribute. They are great friends and don't purposely try to exclude me, but I just feel like I am the "slacker wife" of the bunch. My husband tells me that our friends don't think that of me but its just hard to get that thought out of my mind. I told my husband I wouldn't feel bad or ashamed if I was the type of person who purposely wanted to just sit at home and not work.
I also feel like my parents are disappointed in how my life has turned out. I went to college, got a degree and thought that I was going to be a working, contributing person in society. Now, I feel like they are looking at me thinking, "wow, we never thought in a million years she'd end up like this...almost 40 yrs old and basically doing nothing." That upsets me to the core whenever I think about it...which is practically all the time.
I have thought about going back to school, however, after researching things, the cost is just so much. I wouldn't be able to get financial aid bc of my husband's income. I told my husband that I feel very "lost" and just don't know what to do. And honestly, some people don't make you feel any better. My husband and I have met other people around town associated w/his job & I have come to dread that. Most have been nice, but there have been some who, when they find out i'm out of work, have given me that "oh, so are you are a lazy wife who does nothing all day" look. The look is usually followed by "oh, so you don't work?" It just makes me feel even lower. It just makes me want to scream from a roof top that I do NOT sit around all day watching tv & stuffing my face; nor do I run around town all day getting my hair, nails and feet done while others are slaving at work.
Please help...I just never would have thought i'd be in a situation like this. I'm grateful to have good friends and a good husband. However, I want self fulfillment. Anyone else going through this and understand?
-I'm posting this message bc I feel as if I just cannot find my purpose in life. I feel like somewhere along the way I lost my bearings and I just don't know how to get to a happy place all around. Let me explain:
- I am 39 yrs old & have a very sweet & understanding husband. About a year ago, I lost my job bc the small business I was working for had to close. They couldn't survive in the economy crisis. A couple of months after my job ended, my husband had a job transfer to another State. Luckily, it was a State we had previously lived in before. So we weren't total strangers to it. We've settled in and things in that sense are okay. I am trying to look for a job (like thousands of others), but can't get anything. Its been hard for me because I am used to working outside of the home. I've been babysitting to help out a family member, but the more time that goes by, the more worthless/sad/depressed I feel. I've talked to my husband about it and he just keeps telling me we have to have faith that things will work out eventually (jobwise) and if it doesn't, we are fine financially. He says this because we are very careful w/our money. We don't throw away every $ that comes in. Before I lost my job, we basically lived off of his check and my check was for savings, debt snowball (Dave Ramsey) & occasional fun (movies, dining out, etc). That allowed us to be in a position now where we have no car payments and no student loans. So I'm thankful we lived like that. I have told him that I understand what he is saying, but I'm talking about how I feel as a person. I was raised by two parents that worked and they instilled that in me. I never had the mindset/goal that I was going to "grow up and be a housewife." I'm not saying there's anything wrong w/that, but that's not what I experienced growing up.
I just feel "less important" than our friends. We have friends that work and I just feel unimportant when we are around them. They sit around talking about job related things and I have nothing in that area to contribute. They are great friends and don't purposely try to exclude me, but I just feel like I am the "slacker wife" of the bunch. My husband tells me that our friends don't think that of me but its just hard to get that thought out of my mind. I told my husband I wouldn't feel bad or ashamed if I was the type of person who purposely wanted to just sit at home and not work.
I also feel like my parents are disappointed in how my life has turned out. I went to college, got a degree and thought that I was going to be a working, contributing person in society. Now, I feel like they are looking at me thinking, "wow, we never thought in a million years she'd end up like this...almost 40 yrs old and basically doing nothing." That upsets me to the core whenever I think about it...which is practically all the time.
I have thought about going back to school, however, after researching things, the cost is just so much. I wouldn't be able to get financial aid bc of my husband's income. I told my husband that I feel very "lost" and just don't know what to do. And honestly, some people don't make you feel any better. My husband and I have met other people around town associated w/his job & I have come to dread that. Most have been nice, but there have been some who, when they find out i'm out of work, have given me that "oh, so are you are a lazy wife who does nothing all day" look. The look is usually followed by "oh, so you don't work?" It just makes me feel even lower. It just makes me want to scream from a roof top that I do NOT sit around all day watching tv & stuffing my face; nor do I run around town all day getting my hair, nails and feet done while others are slaving at work.
Please help...I just never would have thought i'd be in a situation like this. I'm grateful to have good friends and a good husband. However, I want self fulfillment. Anyone else going through this and understand?
