Why does it have to be a constant struggle for me to go out, meet people laugh with them, do stuff with them? Since a kid I am always like this, shy never went out to play, always the loser when forced to play. I am getting depressed because I lost friends, all I have is my education.. and to succeed I need connections.. i am so depressed right now, and I am too afraid to fail because of the expectations given on me.. My main hobby by the way is to sleep, I feel like I want to be alone forever.