I'm stuck, any ideas?

[TheSolitaryMan]

I really hope this works out for you - you seem like a decent nice person.

I think her friends liking you is a good sign

Thanks man.

Yeah, I don't know what to think again. I went to the party (see the "Simple Night Out" thread in Loneliness) and my shyness cut down my ability to chat with her slightly.

Even so, she's either really shy and likes me, or is simply completely indifferent to me. She's the only girl who didn't hug me, not quite sure what that means

I think I shall just try to be friends with everyone and keep going to parties. I'm starting to realise that any thought of romance typically ends with me feeling emotionally pained so it's best to avoid that avenue of desire altogether!

 

[Gravity]

I think I shall just try to be friends with everyone and keep going to parties. I'm starting to realise that any thought of romance typically ends with me feeling emotionally pained so it's best to avoid that avenue of desire altogether!

I'll check out the other thread but don't fall into that trap! If you don't want it in the first place that's one thing, but you sound like you'd want to be dating someone. Who knows, maybe things will work out with her eventually, and maybe you'll end up getting to know someone else.

Remember, romance only has to work once. It's not supposed to have a high success rate!

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

I think I shall just try to be friends with everyone and keep going to parties. I'm starting to realise that any thought of romance typically ends with me feeling emotionally pained so it's best to avoid that avenue of desire altogether!

I'll check out the other thread but don't fall into that trap! If you don't want it in the first place that's one thing, but you sound like you'd want to be dating someone. Who knows, maybe things will work out with her eventually, and maybe you'll end up getting to know someone else.

Remember, romance only has to work once. It's not supposed to have a high success rate!

Ah, I hope you're right Gravity. I just don't get it.

Every girl who's ever seemed to like me seems to go kind of crazy over me, then just stops being interested when I try to get to know her more.

I don't think I'm a dull person, so maybe they're just looking for flings? Or perhaps I'm not taking the initiative early enough.

I just checked this list (http://anamikas.hubpages.com/hub/How-to-tell-if-your-girl-friend-woman-likes-you), and she does a few of the things, but stuff like wanting to spend time with me...nah. She's only ever once asked me about myself, she doesn't really make any special effort to hang out with me.

I've probably been played for a fool again I suppose. I could be being too hasty, but I'm kind of sick of "the game" - I just like to know if someone wants me back, but it's never made clear

 

[Gravity]

Ah, I hope you're right Gravity. I just don't get it.

Every girl who's ever seemed to like me seems to go kind of crazy over me, then just stops being interested when I try to get to know her more.

I don't think I'm a dull person, so maybe they're just looking for flings? Or perhaps I'm not taking the initiative early enough.

I just checked this list (http://anamikas.hubpages.com/hub/How-to-tell-if-your-girl-friend-woman-likes-you), and she does a few of the things, but stuff like wanting to spend time with me...nah. She's only ever once asked me about myself, she doesn't really make any special effort to hang out with me.

I've probably been played for a fool again I suppose. I could be being too hasty, but I'm kind of sick of "the game" - I just like to know if someone wants me back, but it's never made clear

I wouldn't put too much stock in a list like that. Nobody will do all of those things, but then a lot of people will do at least one of them. So who's to say?

I hear you on the awkward "I like them but I don't know if they like me" phase. Have you tried anything overtly coupley" yet? Ask her out for coffee after class? Get her a (very small, not expensive) something that you think she'd like? Even an "I saw this and thought you might like it, here you go" can send a big message, without even having to broach the issue openly.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

I hear you on the awkward "I like them but I don't know if they like me" phase. Have you tried anything overtly coupley" yet? Ask her out for coffee after class? Get her a (very small, not expensive) something that you think she'd like? Even an "I saw this and thought you might like it, here you go" can send a big message, without even having to broach the issue openly.

The more I think about it, the uncertainty has got worse for two reasons:

1 - I didn't talk to her much at the party we went to. I wonder if she expected me to be more chatty - she was happy to see me at the start, but seemed sort of semi-happy when I said bye. I even said "We should chat more next time" or something and she seemed to light up a bit with that.

2 - I'm not being as "obvious" as I was last term perhaps. I was looking at her a lot back then and I gave her some really big smiles when I saw her. Now I'm kind of paranoid to do that unless she's not feeling the same.

Stupid, but perhaps this accounts a bit for her getting less sort of forward too.

Also, can't remember if I mentioned, but a few days ago when we last properly talked she started mentioning about cinema seats in comparison to our work seating.

I'm not sure if that was a sneaky sort of line of encouragement or what, seemed like a strange comment to make. Still open to interpretation.

I kinda wish she'd either just glare at me angrily or give me a big kiss. I'm betting angry glare is more likely

 

[Gravity]

So she's happy to see you when you show up, but less so when you leave, and she's talking about going to see a movie when you're in class together?

This is getting pretty unambiguous, man. Just ask her out! See if there's a movie she wants to see. Or ask if she wants to go see something you think she might like.

I wish I could be so lucky to get signals like this. :-D

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

So she's happy to see you when you show up, but less so when you leave, and she's talking about going to see a movie when you're in class together?

This is getting pretty unambiguous, man. Just ask her out! See if there's a movie she wants to see. Or ask if she wants to go see something you think she might like.

I wish I could be so lucky to get signals like this. :-D

She wasn't talking about a movie as such. It was just an off-the-cuff comment about cinema chairs.

Perhaps to the observer it's unambiguous, sadly I'm finding it anything but. I talked to her again today (first time in a week), and she did smile and stuff but she didn't laugh or engage with me as intimately anywhere near as much as she used to.

She didn't bother to say goodbye when I said it to her when leaving either.

I had a chance to be happy, I didn't take it, and it's going to go into my biggest regrets, of which I already have plenty.

I'm sorry I wasted people's time, I think this was a foregone conclusion right from the start. When I really want a girl, this always happens. It's not the first time, I expect it won't be the last. I don't have a definitive answer, but I'm sure she's not interested in me now. Sorry.

 

[Gravity]

I had a chance to be happy, I didn't take it, and it's going to go into my biggest regrets, of which I already have plenty.

Well, of course it's up to you, but it's only a lost chance if you don't take it.

You say you have several regrets already - if this one's destined not to work out, why not at least make it different from the others? If nothing else you can at least feel good about asking someone out or whatever.

And you didn't waste anyone's time. It's all part of a process.

 

[RJLJD]

at this point, unless you still feel really positive about her friends and think this would ruin that, i agree with Gravity.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Okay fellas!

I've had a while to cool off now. I apologise for my relentless "doom 'n' gloom" last post.

I'd had a day that could at best be described as shitty when I typed that up, so I think perhaps I went straight off into the deep end with my frustration there.

The more I think about it, things are still okay. I will keep quiet until something genuinely develops and try not to be so reactionary to every little daily event.

Thanks for the help, and hopefully I will have some positive news soon