I'm Thinking of Telling

[Lonesome Crow]

Just a suggestions Jesses.
I belived being able to share and talking about whatever my most inner most fears
in front of a group of people or on a one on one ...helped me get well.
It's no longer a secrets. No more living with the elephant in the living room and pretending it's not there.

You probably read about my ex-gf..and might sound like a broken record..
She became very abussive in so many freaken ways...it turamatized the hell out of me.
Being in an abussive relationship as a male...I kept it to myself even more..
It felt like someone sholved a freaken knife into my brain and just left it in.
I had a constant headache and couldn't focus on anything.
My **** emotions got dragged through the mud and putted into a blender.
Yet I love her much. I went back to her or let her into my life over and over again.
I bascailly did the samething what battered women do...
You only hear about battered or abuse women...
I had no resourses as a male and no one belived me. Which dove me even more into isolations.

I felt torn up from head to toes. Everything became a struggle for me.
Simple 5 mins task became a major hurdle

What help me get through was...I had glimps of how I was before I met her.
It was still a struggle becuase I was in a total fog.
I didn't want people to feel sorry for me.

But here's the kicker...She treated me just like my father used to treat me.

I wanted to get well...I knew I wasn't well and I needed help.
I also had to stop playing the victim. A lot of times it's difficult for me to stand up for myself.
Everytime I want to take myself out of that role..it's like a test of will that'll run into people that wants to put me back it.
It's fustrating sometimes and all of the anger comes up and I want to lash out..."Enough".

I went through a very bad experince with my father not too long ago...
The first couple of days I was in total termoil.
I couldn't even focus or process anything.
All I could do was write " I love myself" in my journal a couple thousands times for a couple of days.

 

[Jesse]

Lonesome, I can't shake the nightmares I had a really bad one today and I'm just feeling so anxious right now- it's really hard to cope here at work. I wanted to call off because i just didn't think I could handle it, but I don't have any days left to call off with. I'm just sitting here feeling paralyzed with anxiety and fear and I can't do anything. It's killing me man


I looked for some local ptsd groups today but couldnt find any online, but there must be some. I have to find support, I have to get better before I lose my mind :'(

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Jesse, you can go to this website and find out information on support groups in your area: NAMI.org

Also, About.com has some excellent articles on coping with the various symptoms. I used the resources on About.com when I was dealing with the death of my son. It eventually led me to support forums, which were invaluable to me in my recovery.

PTSD Coping

About has a forum devoted to PTSD as well. The link is on this page: Connecting with others

Good luck, and I'm pulling for you on this.

 

[epileptic]

The APA disagrees with your assessment and PTSD is included in the DSM-IV.

I can only conclude from your post that you think that people suffering from PTSD are "easily distressed" and that psychiatrists who are in cahoots with Big Pharma are just in it to dope people up?

You're very dismissive of a wide swath of professionals who are trying to heal.

I apologize for seeming ignorant about this particular topic. Based on my experiences dealing with psychiatrists I have come to the conclusion that they are not right for me. I am the one that knows my condition, inside and out. I am the one that is a professional about knowing myself. I do everything in my power to take care of myself mentally and physically, even if I struggle at times. But I do believe in positive thinking, which I believe can help a person handle any condition easier.

 

[Jesse]

Jesse, you can go to this website and find out information on support groups in your area: NAMI.org

Also, About.com has some excellent articles on coping with the various symptoms. I used the resources on About.com when I was dealing with the death of my son. It eventually led me to support forums, which were invaluable to me in my recovery.

PTSD Coping

About has a forum devoted to PTSD as well. The link is on this page: Connecting with others

Good luck, and I'm pulling for you on this.

Thank you so much for that info! I will definately be looking this stuff up.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

I apologize for seeming ignorant about this particular topic. Based on my experiences dealing with psychiatrists I have come to the conclusion that they are not right for me. I am the one that knows my condition, inside and out. I am the one that is a professional about knowing myself. I do everything in my power to take care of myself mentally and physically, even if I struggle at times. But I do believe in positive thinking, which I believe can help a person handle any condition easier.

No problem. I admit I can be sensitive about this, because of my history of severe depression. Without medical help, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have made it through my suicidal phase. When people spout off things like: "Depressed? Just cheer up," it totally enrages me.

I do agree that a positive outlook can help, but there are some cases where, alone, it can only do so much. There are some conditions that are really beyond the touch of just thinking happy thoughts.

Now, ironically, I think that depression meds are over-prescribed for moderate blues, and I know of several doctors who think that as well. Psychiatrists are like any other specialist: there will always be some that are not a good fit for you. Unfortunately, with the insurance industry and HMO guidelines, it's not always easy to pick and choose until we find one that suits us.

---

Thank you so much for that info! I will definately be looking this stuff up.

I'm very happy to help if I can.

 

[androidhippy]

If you say to someone that you have PTSD, the first question they will ask is "PTSD from what?", which will then oblige you to go into detail. The only potential problem is that most people don't really understand the awful things that people sometimes have to experience and the sudden knowledge will disturb and even frighten them.

To give you an example, my cousin is a retired Forest Service ranger whose had years of experience dealing with all sorts of accidents that occur on forest land. In casual conversation with her one time I asked her about what kinds of accidents she's had to deal with, she then described in vivid detail an account of a family car broken down on the side of the road, and the couple's young son running across the street just as a car was passing by. The description of the scene shocked me pretty deeply, but I sensed that her candor was a subconscious way of reaching out for catharsis, so I forced myself to just listen quietly and show solemn compassion. I have the utmost respect for her strength and professionalism for managing a situation like that, and I'm relieved that I didn't make her feel worse by letting slip some thoughtless word or gesture.

I guess my advice is to choose carefully who you confide in. If they're naive you could end up feeling worse.

 

[Estreen]

The APA disagrees with your assessment and PTSD is included in the DSM-IV.

I can only conclude from your post that you think that people suffering from PTSD are "easily distressed" and that psychiatrists who are in cahoots with Big Pharma are just in it to dope people up?

You're very dismissive of a wide swath of professionals who are trying to heal.

I apologize for seeming ignorant about this particular topic. Based on my experiences dealing with psychiatrists I have come to the conclusion that they are not right for me. I am the one that knows my condition, inside and out. I am the one that is a professional about knowing myself. I do everything in my power to take care of myself mentally and physically, even if I struggle at times. But I do believe in positive thinking, which I believe can help a person handle any condition easier.

This is why I only wanted to see a therapist who did not prescribe meds, just a cognitive behavior psychiatrist. I just recently started to see one and so far it's working out well. I've been to 3 sessions now, and I've already had a small break through.

I don't ever want to have to go back on to meds, unless I am completely out of my mind or it's a life and death (or uber serious) thing. While depression and anxiety often crush me, I do manage to survive, even if I'm just incredibly sad and lonely, and I always manage to somehow get by. I feel that, since I've already grown so much and am so observant of myself, that I can learn to curb certain thoughts/emotions that hinder me, and learn to think more positively, without the help of meds.

But yes, I know there are definitely docs out there that just like to prescribe away; you're talking to a former childhood guinea pig. It wound me up in the children's mental hospital for about a month. They would just pile med on top of med, "thinking" that was what was best for me (the doc, not my parents; they didn't know any better), until I finally snapped and threatened suicide around the age of 9 or 10. Ah, good times...not.

However, there are some good ones out there, you just gotta look for them.