Insulting Tutor

[ShybutHi]

I was just wondering if this, or something similar, has happened to any others on this forum.

I am a very shy and social anxious person, always have been, im 23 now but when i was about 15 at school i would get picked on by my maths teacher, kinda randomly but consistantly, sometimes every lesson for say a week or so and this went on for atleast a year, i would dread going to the lesson and i think it really affected my eventual grade. He would ask me a question infront of the class knowing full well that i would not be able to answer it... i would just lock up and get a mental block once i was the center of attention.

He obviously did it on purpose and it was really quite hurtful.

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^I doubt that he did it specifically to insult or degrade you. He may have been trying to tease you as a friend would, and give you extra focus in front of the rest of the class, hoping that it would spur you into answering correctly. In my experience, teachers are mostly good people and genuinely want their students to succeed academically as well as psychologically.

Are you sure that you didn't simply misinterpret the teacher's actions?

 

[ShybutHi]

^^^I doubt that he did it specifically to insult or degrade you. He may have been trying to tease you as a friend would, and give you extra focus in front of the rest of the class, hoping that it would spur you into answering correctly. In my experience, teachers are mostly good people and genuinely want their students to succeed academically as well as psychologically.

Are you sure that you didn't simply misinterpret the teacher's actions?

No he did it on purpose because he even had a "(my name) question of the week". But he knew i could never ever respond correctly under the pressure of a whole class looking at me, he probably doesnt even understand what social anxiety is. I could just hardly ever get it right, i dont even know if i ever got any right at all because i would get such a mental block. Honestly it was like he just thought it was funny or something and he would laugh with the class at MY expense every single time!

I would never put a kid under that kind of pressure if they had a social problem. Its absolutely terrible when a situation like that arrises.... do you know what its like to have a whole class laugh directly at you and i really mean at you, not with you. When your a shy person it is so **** degrading.

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^Maybe it depends on where you live. Because where I am, when a teacher "picks" on you, it means they're teasing you and being playful with you, even if you're unable to answer the question. Being the class "dummy" sometimes means that the teacher has a fondness for you... but not in a bad way. *shrug*

Anyway, I'm sorry that it was so traumatic for you.

 

[ShybutHi]

^^^Maybe it depends on where you live. Because where I am, when a teacher "picks" on you, it means they're teasing you and being playful with you, even if you're unable to answer the question. Being the class "dummy" sometimes means that the teacher has a fondness for you... but not in a bad way. *shrug*

Anyway, I'm sorry that it was so traumatic for you.

Yeah i see what your saying and normally im sure that would be the case, but i didnt get on with anyone in my class at all, its a different situation when hes just making you the laughing stock of the class. It wasnt like it was just now and then that he would ask me a question... he did it consistently to me on purpose like i said and actually he was not a teacher that kids liked because he was irrational and moody, but he would try and get laughs from the kids by picking on specific people, and i happened to be his main subject.

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^Hmmm... did you complain to anyone? Family? The principal or others in authority? You should have told someone about this when it was happening, because if he was doing it out of malice then he should have been looked at more carefully by his higher-ups.

 

[rayousha]

Bullies can be anybody... even a teacher can be a bully. My cousin stopped schooling because he was bullied by the teacher and got embarassed in front of the class. I personally have no problems with the teachers but I've seen some of them make fun and deliberately embarass students and the class laughing (I guess the laughing was expected, no?)

In SBH situation I don't think he would be in a position to complain because of his shyness... It would only bring more attention to him.

I somehow identify with you because of your shyness. When I was in school my knees goes weak & I shake like a leaf whenever I have to speak in front of people. When the teacher has a question I would tell/coach the person next to me on the right answer so he/she ends up with the credit
I psyched myself out of it and put myself in front of people... I have a people-oriented career now. I still get intimidated by the smart alecks and have bouts of social anxiety when I am in unfamiliar territory but then I've learned to zero in on another shy person and initiate the conversation. Sometimes you just need another person at your side to spur you on.

Anyhow, your ordeal is over now and has made you considerate of other people's feelings so that is a positive

 

[tehdreamer]

Teachers can be mean or down right cruel. Some people are just mean and bitter and they seem to get through life by picking on smaller people. I once had a teacher yell at me in front of the class because I used the wrong type of pencil to complete my homework. I guess that's the biggest thing that has stuck in my mind that was personally against me by a teacher when I was a kid.

But, in fourth grade, I had a teacher who physically beat up on kids during class. Granted they were the worst kids in the class with horrible behavior issues, but hitting them didn't make it any better. I learned nothing through that entire school year because I was so afraid that I was going to be hit, even though I was quiet and never did anything wrong. It just seemed like everyone else around me was getting a beating, so I was next. I finally got up the nerve to tell my mom about it, she tried to report it to the school but they said he was a good teacher so they weren't going to fire him. Luckily it was time for me to move on to the next grade and a new school by then.

 

[Yukhi]

Seriously, the board of the school or whoever is deciding on whether to hire a new teacher should also test for the teacher's maturity level. ShyButHi, that teacher was a bully.

The kind of teacher ShyButHi aren't the worst of the lot yet though. Like tehdreamer mentioned there are teachers with anger issues and will physically beat children. I am perfectly fine if a teacher decides to walk out though if it's a super noisy high school class.

 

[Minus]

.... has happened to any others on this forum.

Nothing specifically like that. In class when i was called on, even when i knew the answer, i would tell them that i didn't. They would usually leave me alone after doing that a few times.

In grade school i did have a teacher that i had a difficult time with. Just one example. One day she flew into one of her rages and flung everyone's homework on the floor, then made me come to the front of the class and pick up all the papers off the floor and put them back onto her desk. It seems that when i had placed my homework onto her desk, i had placed it in a manner that she had somehow found to be unacceptable, so flinging all the homework on the floor and making me pick it all up was my punishment.

It was a difficult year because it seems that she was always upset with me.

 

[Electric_Fusilier]

Maybe the teacher was just a wanker. As the poet said: "There sure are a lot of bastards out there..."

Try not to let it bug you. We meet wankers all the time. They're bloody everywhere. Most of the time, we just ignore them, and hope we can find a few, fairly not-wankerish pals in the meantime.

My least favourite wanker: the chavvy ones that shout out of open car windows informing you that you've dropped something. Curse me, I fell for one of those the other day, and looked round. "Nnnnneuuurrrr muppet!" bellowed the wanker.

Still, he was a wimpy wanker all the same, cos I got no comeback from the v-sign I flicked at him. So I got the bigger balls!

 

[ShybutHi]

Maybe the teacher was just a wanker. As the poet said: "There sure are a lot of bastards out there..."

Try not to let it bug you. We meet wankers all the time. They're bloody everywhere. Most of the time, we just ignore them, and hope we can find a few, fairly not-wankerish pals in the meantime.

My least favourite wanker: the chavvy ones that shout out of open car windows informing you that you've dropped something. Curse me, I fell for one of those the other day, and looked round. "Nnnnneuuurrrr muppet!" bellowed the wanker.

Still, he was a wimpy wanker all the same, cos I got no comeback from the v-sign I flicked at him. So I got the bigger balls!

Yeah it doesnt bug me. Its just reflecting back on it now after all these years.... What an ass that guy was. lol