Intense alienation

[solkindersol]

I was wondering how much others of you here experience this. For myself, it has reached a point where I am feeling outright paranoia. A lot of bad things have happened to me, I mean, so much that it's uncanny. And over a long period of time. Does anyone else feel that social isolation/ anxiety/ shyness seems to predispose them to having a life of bad things happening to them? Can anyone relate?

 

[Badjedidude]

Someone with a negative attitude will see a problem as some sort of divine mark against their existence... whereas someone with a positive attitude may see that same problem as a challenge to be overcome, and used create character.

If you go through life always moaning about the worst, you'll never learn to recognize and appreciate the best. And guess what? Sometimes you just have to learn to also appreciate the worst.

I relish the depth of human experience; good and bad.

 

[AlbertaGuy]

I was wondering how much others of you here experience this. For myself, it has reached a point where I am feeling outright paranoia. A lot of bad things have happened to me, I mean, so much that it's uncanny. And over a long period of time. Does anyone else feel that social isolation/ anxiety/ shyness seems to predispose them to having a life of bad things happening to them? Can anyone relate?

Its possible. What bad things are we talking about here? I have had a life of bad luck as well, and I am a very shy person who has trouble relating to others and trusting others due to my low self esteem.

 

[solkindersol]

Someone with a negative attitude will see a problem as some sort of divine mark against their existence... whereas someone with a positive attitude may see that same problem as a challenge to be overcome, and used create character.

If you go through life always moaning about the worst, you'll never learn to recognize and appreciate the best. And guess what? Sometimes you just have to learn to also appreciate the worst.

I relish the depth of human experience; good and bad.

Despite how it must appear, I am not a moaner. The nightmares of which I speak are overwhelming me. How about brain cancer and homelessness for starters. Forgive me if I haven't quite learned to appreciate the worst.

 

[eris]

When I was 21-26 I had some ...issues...and i really hated humanity and had nothing to say to people. Absolutly nothing. I went on with my life, went to college. but I didn't even have a phone. I didn't want one. I talked to no one. I saw prostitutes but said nothing to them. When someone would talk to me I would answer them and then try to leave.

at 26 i fell in love with someone and generally became a happier person and now I sometimes socialize. I think intense isolation physically does something to your brain... i almost snapped. I really almost killed myself.

Please, if you don't WANT this. Try to join a support group or something. You dont want to snap

 

[sadface]

I don't know it could be a lot of things.

I guess one possibility is that since you're being pessimistic and depressed constantly, everything that happens to you seems worse than it is. Viewing the glass half-empty kind of situation

A lot of people also say that if you're putting bad vibes out there, that's what you're gonna get in return. It's amazing what a simple attitude change can do.

Another (more likely) possibility is that since you've been so much, you've become lonely. Not the other way around.

 

[Badjedidude]

Despite how it must appear, I am not a moaner. The nightmares of which I speak are overwhelming me. How about brain cancer and homelessness for starters. Forgive me if I haven't quite learned to appreciate the worst.

I've met several cancer victims, and they were some of the most optimistic, cheerful people I've ever met.

It's not your problems that define you...It's about how you respond to your problems that defines you.

 

[sadface]

It's not your problems that define you...It's about how you respond to your problems that defines you.

indeed.

 

[eris]

Sometimes problems are too big to handle...

 

[Badjedidude]

Sometimes problems are too big to handle. Like if your house burns down and you're mentally ill.

Who ever said anything about "handling" problems?

All you can do is realize that these things happen sometimes... that it's not a cosmic joke or divine strike against you personally. It's just random luck of the draw. honeysuckle happens.

All you can do is accept that shitty honeysuckle happens sometimes for no good reason. And then do your best to make the rest of your existence a little less shitty.

It's not about "handling" problems.

It's about fighting and never giving up.

 

[eris]

I have a hard time believing people that have been abused for a lifetime can just realize it's all just random luck.


EDIT: and I dont mean "handle the problem" as in fixing it. I mean not being able to mentally handle something without having a nervous breakdown.

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^It's just about how the person chooses to look at things, that's all.

Like I said, I've seen some people to whom tragedy has struck again and again... people living in some of the worst situations imaginable... and they're able to make a decent life for themselves.

And I've also seen people who had it all... every gift a man could have, but they're miserable and never enjoy life.

It has NOTHING to do with what the problem is. It's about perspective, attitude, and response to that problem.

Seriously.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Jedi, the problem is relevant, no matter what the attitude is. Although the attitude is important, the problem itself can be more serious than the attitude is. You never know what the problem really is, or what anyone is thinking.

 

[eris]

I am not going to argue with you, I like you. I just want to share something.

At 26 my personality disorder got much worse and it started having psychotic features ( hearing voices, paranoia ) and a few months later my apartment building burned to the ground. When I was taken to the hospital for smoke inhalation it was discovered that I had juvenile diabetes and hypertension. I worked at Mc donalds and had no health insurance. So I lived in my car for a few months with uncontrolled mental illnes and uncontrolled diabetes. I am honestly surprised that I am alive. I am now taking medication for both and am relativly healthy and I am not psychotic anymore.

While I was going though this, if someone told me to just have a better attitude about things I would probably spit in their face. I did get over it, and I'm not bitter anymore. Maybe these cancer paintents you speak of have good support systems and otherwise happy lives. Or maybe they are that 1% of people that are truely wise. Also, I don't think you know enough cancer paitents to make a good judgement about that. I'm sure that 90% of them are freaking out. I don't see many homeless people with AIDS singing in the streets.
EDIT: that kind of sounded like I said I have aids. I don't have aids.