Intimacy.

[Alex]

I just want to keep her on msn...I don't want to actually meet her. I just want to have her in my head...where I can control her etc. She suggested coming to my hometown tommorow. I had to give loads of half-hearted replies like "if you want to". Now she does not want to. I just think theres something inside of me I can't bear showing her...my shame or something. I have so many ways of behaving/thinkng etc that I have picked up from years of solitude that I would have to hide from her. Its so hard I can't be honest and intimate because I don't want to talk about how lame I believe I am, as I believe this would be unattractive. The idea of her coming to my town and us going to a bar just filled me with a kind of dread. I just imagined bumping into some guys from school who i hated...or even bullied me, I can imagine them patting my back slightly too hard...even patting my head. Me having to look into her eyes and giving a shamefully embarrassed smile. Me not having any control over the situation at all.

 

[Van Hooligan X]

you no your not forced to go out and go to pubs, you can tell her that you'd rather stay inside and stuff, and hoping she can understand that.

honestly i don't no what advice i personally could give u since i don't no your or her personality :S

but if this is worrying you maybe taking some anxiety pills to calm you down alittle, you don't want to do anything implusive and stupid just cause 1 of you emotions isn't making u think straight

and i hope it works out for u bud :3

 

[Spare]

There are several instances in my past that are similar to what you describe, and because of my inaction they are now among the biggest regrets I have; they'll haunt me forever.

I say give it a shot, consequences be damned. Regrets centered around inaction do nothing but weigh down your soul, and should be avoided at all costs.

Good luck!

 

[Steel]

Take a chance.

 

[Minus]

I agree with Spare on the possibility of later regret. As Van said, you don't have to go to a bar. For a lot of people that isn't the best place. You are probably judging yourself more critically then she would.

 

[Haven]

Try arranging a date in a location you find secure where you have control but you cant do things half heartily the person will just give up on you because you make it seem like you don't desire their presence
so like steele said take a chance

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Regret is really, really, really, really messed up. It'll drive a person up the fucken wall crazy and then some.
Becuase you'll play that fucken tape over and over and over again of the what if compounded with guilt and shame.

I had alot of fears...and a lot of it was becuase I didn't think I deserved of being loved..truely loved.
Her love really scared the honeysuckle out of me..It's was beyound her looks, personalties or sex.
She was a very beautiful woman inside and out. She was there ... open herself, heart, soul
and all her love to me.
I wouldn't let go of my fears. I thought my fears were big then..My regrets is an entirely different beast.
She simply ask me a simple direct question from the heart..."Do you love me?"
In my heart and in my soul I really, really felt I love her and wanted her so, so much.
Her hopes and dreams were just like mine...All she ever wanted out of life was for someone to love her back.

She's not coming back...no matter what I say or do. No matter how much I cry, pray or go insane.
I took her for granted. I took life for granted.
Love was there right in front of me the entire time all I had to do was let go.....

I gotten rejected by serveral women with in the past couple of months. It dose not compair to regrets.
Remose, rejections...is not the same as regrets.

She's dead and I hate myself.
Her ghost dosn't huant me.
Regrets huant me.

 

[Jesse]

Yeah..regret. Man it just makes me want to take a chance with this girl I'm hanging out with. She's on vacation this week, but I was texting her and suggested hanging out and possibly getting inebriated when she returns. She said that sounds like fun and that we should get completely trashed. I'm considering it. I don't want to regret missing out on something because I just couldn't bring myself to do it. You've got to figure out a way to overcome man. This could be it, you never know.

 

[SimizAkri]

I understand what you mean. I was in the same situation a year ago...but I regret not letting him come visit me.
I should have overcome my insecurities; If I have, I'm sure things would be much different right now...we'd probably still be talking.
I agree man, take a shot.
It doesnt matter what you're like. She is supposed to like you for who you are so even if it doesn't work out, it's just not meant to be.
Good luck with whatever you do.=]

 

[Jack Kerouac]

Why don't you ask her if you can pick her up and go somewhere out by her house? Just make sure you show interest in the near future because it sounds like you're making her feel bad by acting uninterested. You're probably going to need to take the initiative to set something up this time around though.

I know you're scared but you should at least try. If you never take chances nothing is ever going to happen in your life.

 

[Blue Sky]

I say go for it, try not to think of all the negatives and what if this or that happens, because they probably won't happen at all. As some of the other members mentioned, go somewhere you feel at ease and comfortable. Be positive and think about all the good things that can happen from meeting this person.