Not sure where to begin. You always hear the saying 'at the beginning', but it's not always the best starting point. I suppose I should start by saying that my life is really a mess at this point. I feel like I no longer have control over anything. I have no friends, no support system in the family (and no family I speak to except husband and child) and I only go outside when I have to (for fear of people speaking to me).
I suppose I should just lay it all out at this point, since it doesn't really matter. I mean, no matter how terrible things are, people will always say their troubles are the worst or that things will get better. It has been my unpleasant experience to know that even when they do get better, it all goes right back down the toilet again in just a few months.
I am an almost 40 year old grandmother. I am in my second marriage to a man who is 5 years my junior and has help raise all 3 children from my first marriage. All we do now is yell at each other and call each other names. All he does is drink , if he can, but apparently he is not an alcoholic. I no longer speak to my parents (whom, after 32 years of hate and divorce, have decided to remarry this year). My last and only friend of ten years had become such an alcoholic, that she did not care who she slept with. I had to end the friendship 10 years ago, it could not be repaired.
Currently, I had to leave my job due to SEVERE allergies at work. My husband quit his job, because if I wasn't working he wasn't going to either. I have no money to go anywhere to try to get food and we just ran out today. And, suprise, it's my job to figure it out. When all I want to do is hide under a rock and crawl deeper into my shell and loneliness. To wipe out people and my life. I've seen so many therapists and been on so many Anti-depressants, only to be disappointed.
There has been tons of advice handed out with no results. I have been told to just leave my husband, over and over again. Simply, short of sleeping in my vehicle with my son there is no place to go anymore (we used all of our stays at shelters in our community already).
I am so lonely and detached from everything. My only joys are my cigarettes and ice cream. If I gain back any more weight it's only going to add to my feelings of despair. I so need a major life overhaul, but have absolutely no way to get it started.
Well, thanks for the unload. I hope that was a good overview and forgive me for the bitterness, but when you've tried to make friends and be nice to people and still get burned...you tend not to care anymore to some degree. I hope everyone has a nice day and I hope to make friends here
I suppose I should just lay it all out at this point, since it doesn't really matter. I mean, no matter how terrible things are, people will always say their troubles are the worst or that things will get better. It has been my unpleasant experience to know that even when they do get better, it all goes right back down the toilet again in just a few months.
I am an almost 40 year old grandmother. I am in my second marriage to a man who is 5 years my junior and has help raise all 3 children from my first marriage. All we do now is yell at each other and call each other names. All he does is drink , if he can, but apparently he is not an alcoholic. I no longer speak to my parents (whom, after 32 years of hate and divorce, have decided to remarry this year). My last and only friend of ten years had become such an alcoholic, that she did not care who she slept with. I had to end the friendship 10 years ago, it could not be repaired.
Currently, I had to leave my job due to SEVERE allergies at work. My husband quit his job, because if I wasn't working he wasn't going to either. I have no money to go anywhere to try to get food and we just ran out today. And, suprise, it's my job to figure it out. When all I want to do is hide under a rock and crawl deeper into my shell and loneliness. To wipe out people and my life. I've seen so many therapists and been on so many Anti-depressants, only to be disappointed.
There has been tons of advice handed out with no results. I have been told to just leave my husband, over and over again. Simply, short of sleeping in my vehicle with my son there is no place to go anymore (we used all of our stays at shelters in our community already).
I am so lonely and detached from everything. My only joys are my cigarettes and ice cream. If I gain back any more weight it's only going to add to my feelings of despair. I so need a major life overhaul, but have absolutely no way to get it started.
Well, thanks for the unload. I hope that was a good overview and forgive me for the bitterness, but when you've tried to make friends and be nice to people and still get burned...you tend not to care anymore to some degree. I hope everyone has a nice day and I hope to make friends here
