Pyrfancier
Member
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2014
- Messages
- 16
- Reaction score
- 1
Hi everybody - not sure if I qualify to be here really as I'm actually married (so if I should sod off, just say - I'm used to that!). However, both myself & wife are basically introverted loners: no friends & no kids. Both these criteria seem to preclude you from being accepted as an acceptable part of social society these days. I am 52 & from the southwest of the UK. I suspect a lot of 'our' problems (without wishing to generalise or stereotype) stem from introversion: once a valued trait of the deep-thinker, but in this modern world run by the confident, gregarious, loud, narcissistic, extrovert - we are seen as, at best, a subject of pity, at worst: weirdos outwith normal society!
As I'm sure is shared with many of my fellow lonely people here I have built a nice collection of mental Disorders: BPD, SAD (social, that is), OCD, etc, that are either causal of resultant (or both). Throughout my (long - & it's dam well felt long) life I have been an outcast, a loser, a scapegoat. I was bullied mercilessly at school & then at work, the latter to the point of taking redundancy to get away from bloody people - period!. Since then I have (as others here have said) retreated for protection from the horrors of the world & human nature into ever more deep reclusiveness. Apart obviously from my wife (& we basically live separate lives) I go for weeks on end without speaking to a living soul - I have even found myself phoning insurance companies for quotes or house sales agents, just to speak to someone - sorry state isn't it! I too (as per others) have in the past pretty much tried & exhausted potential avenues to connect to other people: volunteering for pet rescue sanctuaries, night classes, walking groups, other hobby groups - I think `normal' people (by which I mean the vast majority) smell out the fact that you're not confident & in complete panic mode when in a social environment & avoid you like the plague! I suffer that perennial dichotomy I'm sure so many of us face: I feel I am only really happy & can only cope when I'm alone, whilst at the same time suffering crippling loneliness & the knowledge that life is passing me by, Anyway thanks to anyone brave enough to read through this drivel - I tried not to write a diatribe & it's taken 3 days plucking up the courage to post at all: but having started it's sort of opened the flood gates. Don't know what the real answer is for all of us - but I hope someday we all find it!
As I'm sure is shared with many of my fellow lonely people here I have built a nice collection of mental Disorders: BPD, SAD (social, that is), OCD, etc, that are either causal of resultant (or both). Throughout my (long - & it's dam well felt long) life I have been an outcast, a loser, a scapegoat. I was bullied mercilessly at school & then at work, the latter to the point of taking redundancy to get away from bloody people - period!. Since then I have (as others here have said) retreated for protection from the horrors of the world & human nature into ever more deep reclusiveness. Apart obviously from my wife (& we basically live separate lives) I go for weeks on end without speaking to a living soul - I have even found myself phoning insurance companies for quotes or house sales agents, just to speak to someone - sorry state isn't it! I too (as per others) have in the past pretty much tried & exhausted potential avenues to connect to other people: volunteering for pet rescue sanctuaries, night classes, walking groups, other hobby groups - I think `normal' people (by which I mean the vast majority) smell out the fact that you're not confident & in complete panic mode when in a social environment & avoid you like the plague! I suffer that perennial dichotomy I'm sure so many of us face: I feel I am only really happy & can only cope when I'm alone, whilst at the same time suffering crippling loneliness & the knowledge that life is passing me by, Anyway thanks to anyone brave enough to read through this drivel - I tried not to write a diatribe & it's taken 3 days plucking up the courage to post at all: but having started it's sort of opened the flood gates. Don't know what the real answer is for all of us - but I hope someday we all find it!
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