Is it just me, or..?

[Zed]

Some of the posts I've been reading on the singles & dating boards over the last year or so give me the impression that the OLDSs are going despo because so many of their suckers---I mean, members---have been steadily defecting to join meetup groups instead.

I suspect it's gone beyong ghostwriting fake profiles, that the OLDSs are hiring shills under the table to crash the boards and say good things about online dating in a frantic effort to feed the pig and put lipstick on it.

Personally, I give online dating 5, maybe 10 years before it peters out... it will go the way of the printed personals, 1980s video dating, and 1960s computer dating.

 

[Groucho]

I suspect it's gone beyong ghostwriting fake profiles, that the OLDSs are hiring shills under the table to crash the boards and say good things about online dating in a frantic effort to feed the pig and put lipstick on it.

TV documentary covered this and noted paid websites hired people cheaply in other countries to show interest (you can only message after you sign up and paid cash) in order to get people to pay the cash to be able to respond, then they would disappear, and they got several people saying that is basically what their job entailed.

Astroturfing for a lot of things, including product reviews and government points of view is highly common these days.

 

[Dr. Strangelove]

OLDSs are going to fail because of their very nature. Consider the following.

1. Large percentage of members use them to only look for hook ups.
2. Large percentage of members are "broken" Meaning that these people have serious character flaws that prevent them from getting dates the "conventional" method. They could be stuck up bitches, douchebags, "losers" etc. and their profiles directly reflect their flaws.
3. Large percentage of members don't take it seriously. They use OLDSs as and extra social media outlet, they like to get attention, they simply keep a profile up and treat it like blog.
4. There is too large of a male to female ratio. Men who are serious about getting a relationship rarely get a chance to make a connection because the women's profile is spammed beyond belief from every other guy out there. Then women do not normally seek out men's profiles because they are bombarded with all these messages they have to go through.

Finally, you are left with the people who take it seriously but this constitutes such a small percentage of the overall membership that the chances of success is small regardless of how good of a date you might be.

 

[Batman55]

2. Large percentage of members are "broken" Meaning that these people have serious character flaws that prevent them from getting dates the "conventional" method. They could be stuck up bitches, douchebags, "losers" etc. and their profiles directly reflect their flaws.

Be careful with that. I know quite a few folks from Internet forums who have not had any dates the conventional way, and have only had relationships in real life after meeting someone online first. There is no "discard pile" in life, no "losers," only human beings who by and large crave affection, and they will use whatever tools they can to find it. If dating the conventional way is too nerve-wracking, then you need to find another method. Simple.

 

[Tiina63]

Hello Batman55, I am glad that you posted this as most of the dates I have had have been from online dating. Getting dates the conventional way gets harder as you get older (though it was very hard for me when I was young as well) as most people are taken. The sentence you quoted made me feel bad when I read it, and I am grateful that you picked up on it.

 

[Zed]

4. There is too large of a male to female ratio. Men who are serious about getting a relationship rarely get a chance to make a connection because the women's profile is spammed beyond belief from every other guy out there. Then women do not normally seek out men's profiles because they are bombarded with all these messages they have to go through.

Definitely agree with you there. Much of it has to do with that pre-1960s mentality that something bad or dangerous will happen if a woman picks her own man. It's been my experience that the woman makes the first move 10% of the time at most, and even when it does happen, she's not likely what the man is looking for.

Yeah, I've been hit on by women before... all of them were either rude and uncouth, or just wanted me to father their kid.

However, after having attended enough meetups, I can honestly tell you that women tend to outnumber men at non-alcohol events... while at asexual events, women tend to outnumber men by about 4 to 1.

 

[Dr. Strangelove]

2. Large percentage of members are "broken" Meaning that these people have serious character flaws that prevent them from getting dates the "conventional" method. They could be stuck up bitches, douchebags, "losers" etc. and their profiles directly reflect their flaws.

Be careful with that. I know quite a few folks from Internet forums who have not had any dates the conventional way, and have only had relationships in real life after meeting someone online first. There is no "discard pile" in life, no "losers," only human beings who by and large crave affection, and they will use whatever tools they can to find it. If dating the conventional way is too nerve-wracking, then you need to find another method. Simple.

You misunderstand. I'm not claiming that every person who use online dating is a "loser." What I am saying is that there are a number of people out there who are "un-dateable" because of serious attitude problems. To give an example, there are many women who have a "queen bee" attitude. The spoiled narcissistic type who turn to online dating because they already have gone through their immediate pool of men and have achieved a negative reputation. Online dating becomes a resource to look for people outside that circle. I'm not saying these type's shouldn't try to find a date online, I'm simply saying that it creates a larger pool of "less desirables" and thus becomes another fatal flaw in online dating as your chances of finding a date that looks promising are lessened.

 

[Batman55]

You misunderstand. I'm not claiming that every person who use online dating is a "loser." What I am saying is that there are a number of people out there who are "un-dateable" because of serious attitude problems. To give an example, there are many women who have a "queen bee" attitude. The spoiled narcissistic type who turn to online dating because they already have gone through their immediate pool of men and have achieved a negative reputation. Online dating becomes a resource to look for people outside that circle. I'm not saying these type's shouldn't try to find a date online, I'm simply saying that it creates a larger pool of "less desirables" and thus becomes another fatal flaw in online dating as your chances of finding a date that looks promising are lessened.

I tend to have knee-jerk reactions for certain things, maybe this was one of those times. What you write here does make some sense. I think it's fair to say that if someone has a serious flaw in their attitude, like with the above example.. it certainly doesn't benefit anyone trying to use a dating site.

It's just I saw the word "loser" and I felt the need to jump in and say something. A lot of folks that might fit into this "loser" category actually mean well, and have a good attitude. I wouldn't lump them in with the rest. For example, a guy with low status, shaky confidence, and low-to-no relationship experience might be seen as a "loser" by some people, but I just don't see it that way. Hence, my defense.

 

[Nicolelt]

I started online dating because I moved to a new area, and I don't know anybody. I'm not having much luck though

I don't know anything about meet-up groups though.