I'm feeling particularly down at the moment. I don't seem to get these moments as much as I used to but they still come and go. Just one tiny little thing knocks the happiness out of me.
The situation is that I went out last Saturday with my brother and sister and the first thing I do is automatically is think of my friend - who I consider to be my best friend here - and text her to invite her out. We meet up and we have a good time but then she mentions that she had a 'brilliant weekend' last weekend because a mutual friend of ours who had moved abroad had come back for the weekend and they had this amazing night out. My first thought is 'oh, thanks for inviting me'. But I don't say it because I don't want to sound petty. But, it did upset me and it makes me analyze our friendship. This isn't the first, or even second time this has happened. I realise that in the six years we've known each other - we both moved to the Country I am in around the same time and didn't know anyone, so became friends at that time - I always, ALWAYS call her or text her to invite her out or suggest that we do something Friday/Saturday night but never, not one single time has she ever done the same. If I don't make contact, I don't go out because she'll never call/text. I'll find out afterwards when she tells me what a great time she's had.
I don't expect her to hang out with me 100%, I'm not some weird clingy friend that demands attention or am jealous of her other friends or anything but it just seems to me that she'll hang out with me (and we always have fun nights out) only if she hasn't got anything better to do. She will readily cancel on me if she got invited somewhere else. And has done many times. Even as late as me being dressed up, ready to go and she'll cancel because so-and-so has just invited her to such-and-such a place.
The problem is that I am really bad at making connections with people. In the place I live, I have her and one other person that I don't see very much at all because of work commitments on her part and I myself have no colleagues as I work remotely and all my colleagues are based in other Countries.
I don't know if I am being pathetic or stupid or being way too sensitive but she knows my situation and I am the first person she calls when she has a personal problem or a break up.
The worse thing is, I am on a trip next week to visit family in Ireland and SOMEHOW she has managed to wangle her way in and has booked a flight and is coming with me. I seriously have no idea how that happened but I really don't want her to come. The flight and other travel costs quite a bit so I can't really tell her that I don't want her to come as she'd lose all the money she's paid out. It's like she has to be part of everything I do and manages it but she actively excludes me.
I had a friend years ago that did the same thing and I am starting to think that these are the kinds of people that I attract. I can't seem to make friends with people that just want to have a laugh and have empathy and respect.
I just want to curl up under my bed covers for a week and not see another person and feel sorry for myself.
The situation is that I went out last Saturday with my brother and sister and the first thing I do is automatically is think of my friend - who I consider to be my best friend here - and text her to invite her out. We meet up and we have a good time but then she mentions that she had a 'brilliant weekend' last weekend because a mutual friend of ours who had moved abroad had come back for the weekend and they had this amazing night out. My first thought is 'oh, thanks for inviting me'. But I don't say it because I don't want to sound petty. But, it did upset me and it makes me analyze our friendship. This isn't the first, or even second time this has happened. I realise that in the six years we've known each other - we both moved to the Country I am in around the same time and didn't know anyone, so became friends at that time - I always, ALWAYS call her or text her to invite her out or suggest that we do something Friday/Saturday night but never, not one single time has she ever done the same. If I don't make contact, I don't go out because she'll never call/text. I'll find out afterwards when she tells me what a great time she's had.
I don't expect her to hang out with me 100%, I'm not some weird clingy friend that demands attention or am jealous of her other friends or anything but it just seems to me that she'll hang out with me (and we always have fun nights out) only if she hasn't got anything better to do. She will readily cancel on me if she got invited somewhere else. And has done many times. Even as late as me being dressed up, ready to go and she'll cancel because so-and-so has just invited her to such-and-such a place.
The problem is that I am really bad at making connections with people. In the place I live, I have her and one other person that I don't see very much at all because of work commitments on her part and I myself have no colleagues as I work remotely and all my colleagues are based in other Countries.
I don't know if I am being pathetic or stupid or being way too sensitive but she knows my situation and I am the first person she calls when she has a personal problem or a break up.
The worse thing is, I am on a trip next week to visit family in Ireland and SOMEHOW she has managed to wangle her way in and has booked a flight and is coming with me. I seriously have no idea how that happened but I really don't want her to come. The flight and other travel costs quite a bit so I can't really tell her that I don't want her to come as she'd lose all the money she's paid out. It's like she has to be part of everything I do and manages it but she actively excludes me.
I had a friend years ago that did the same thing and I am starting to think that these are the kinds of people that I attract. I can't seem to make friends with people that just want to have a laugh and have empathy and respect.
I just want to curl up under my bed covers for a week and not see another person and feel sorry for myself.