I will do my best to keep this as short as possible. I have never gotten proper insight from anyone about this and hope to here.
I went to a small high school. My small group of close girlfriends shaped into very different women. Not all of us could have or should have maintained bonds. However, two of them I did stay close with.
Amber, Mandy and I stayed close. Mandy is a trust fund child. She never had to work and sails from creative project to creative project. Amber and I have children and have very average lives.
It was sometimes difficult to relate to Mandy as she has zero perspective on what it is like to have any sort of accountability. But since we all live in different areas (Mandy being the farthest away) we just enjoyed each other and Amber and I grew to appreciate (or tolerate?) Mandy's lifestyle.
A year ago, Mandy came here for a visit. We were in my kitchen enjoying drinks and something seemed very off about her. She oddly seemed to not be tolerating her liquor. She's a drinker and a large woman and I have been to Vegas with her...she is no lightweight drinker. I just thought she was getting drunk way too fast.
Well, we walked to a pub by my house and that ended in a crazy way. She was so messed up when I told her we should leave. I will spare details, but she fell, was bloody, thought the bartender stole her credit card and was crying and yelling. She fell outside the bar and I could not get her up.
I wasn't sure what to do. The pub ended up closing, patrons walking out past us with her bloody on the cement. Eventually, I got her to walking/stumbling/falling back to my home. I had her purse and pocketed her keys as soon as I got her purse as she was talking about driving home...she lives nearly 1,000 miles away. I had no clue where she would drive but offered to get her a cab and hotel room. She wanted no part of that and in a flash of adrenaline, she darted off running to my house so fast I could not keep up.
So, while I had my suspicions, I knew then she was certainly on a drug of some sort. I know her to be a pot smoker, but know she did not do pot at my house earlier, or I would have smelled it from the bathroom. It had to be something else.
Once at my house she went ballistic because I wouldn't give her the keys to her vehicle. She packed her vehicle with all her things from my home. Then she took to screaming in my front yard for her keys. A neighbor called police, they cuffed her once they could restrain her and ended up taking her away in an ambulance.
So, the next day I waited for word on where she was, assuming she was at the police station. I ended up calling all the hospitals and the jail the next night, trying to find her. She was at none of those places. So, on a whim, I tried the mental health center. Yep, she was there.
When she took my call she seemed very out of it. She said she had no clue what happened to her. We only spoke a short while.
(The day this all happened was late Friday/early Saturday, with the first communication Saturday night) So, I ended that phone call totally unsure what would happen. Her vehicle was still in my drive. Saturday night, we were hit with a huge snow storm. It continued into Sunday and she ended up calling me Sunday in early afternoon. She asked for a ride! She said she was facing a two hour wait for a cab due to the storm. She had me parked in, (the police took her keys from me) but I wouldn't go get her anyway.
So, she ended up getting here and rang the bell to get the rest of her things. She was not apologetic, so I basically told her to leave.
I was angry and hurt she did not offer up an apology. This is my neighborhood and she caused quite a stir. Thank Goodness my child was not home that Friday night as I would never want him to be privy to the ranting she was doing in the yard....believe me he would have heard, just like the rest of the block.
I resigned myself to being totally done with her. It took a week and I did soften a bit because I feared our mutual friend might be left in a tight spot should it be a holiday or one of her kid's birthday parties or something and she would have to choose between us. So, I sent the nut job an email to at least get the lines of communication going.
She replied with, "I was in need and you didn't help me. At least I found caring people to take care of me." WTF? Getting hauled off to the psychiatric center is not "finding" anyone. So then and there I was done. Nearly 25 years of friendship over.
Now, my issue (sorry the back story got so long) is our mutual friend and a couple other not as close high school friends in common look down on ME because of this.
The consensus is, "Geez Campbell, we have all been drunk together before..."
This hurts so much. They did not live the crazy like I did. This wasn't silly drunk, it was messed up to the point they didn't release her until Sunday afternoon when all this happened late Friday/early Saturday. She maintains they kept her until she had no alcohol in her system, but I know three people who work in ER and they have all said anyone with a dangerously high B.A.C. won't go to the psychiatric center without being hospitalized first. She had drugs in her.
I need to make peace with this because it drives me crazy I am looked down upon for all this.
How do I make peace with it sans apology and being served up judgement for my actions when she gets none?
I went to a small high school. My small group of close girlfriends shaped into very different women. Not all of us could have or should have maintained bonds. However, two of them I did stay close with.
Amber, Mandy and I stayed close. Mandy is a trust fund child. She never had to work and sails from creative project to creative project. Amber and I have children and have very average lives.
It was sometimes difficult to relate to Mandy as she has zero perspective on what it is like to have any sort of accountability. But since we all live in different areas (Mandy being the farthest away) we just enjoyed each other and Amber and I grew to appreciate (or tolerate?) Mandy's lifestyle.
A year ago, Mandy came here for a visit. We were in my kitchen enjoying drinks and something seemed very off about her. She oddly seemed to not be tolerating her liquor. She's a drinker and a large woman and I have been to Vegas with her...she is no lightweight drinker. I just thought she was getting drunk way too fast.
Well, we walked to a pub by my house and that ended in a crazy way. She was so messed up when I told her we should leave. I will spare details, but she fell, was bloody, thought the bartender stole her credit card and was crying and yelling. She fell outside the bar and I could not get her up.
I wasn't sure what to do. The pub ended up closing, patrons walking out past us with her bloody on the cement. Eventually, I got her to walking/stumbling/falling back to my home. I had her purse and pocketed her keys as soon as I got her purse as she was talking about driving home...she lives nearly 1,000 miles away. I had no clue where she would drive but offered to get her a cab and hotel room. She wanted no part of that and in a flash of adrenaline, she darted off running to my house so fast I could not keep up.
So, while I had my suspicions, I knew then she was certainly on a drug of some sort. I know her to be a pot smoker, but know she did not do pot at my house earlier, or I would have smelled it from the bathroom. It had to be something else.
Once at my house she went ballistic because I wouldn't give her the keys to her vehicle. She packed her vehicle with all her things from my home. Then she took to screaming in my front yard for her keys. A neighbor called police, they cuffed her once they could restrain her and ended up taking her away in an ambulance.
So, the next day I waited for word on where she was, assuming she was at the police station. I ended up calling all the hospitals and the jail the next night, trying to find her. She was at none of those places. So, on a whim, I tried the mental health center. Yep, she was there.
When she took my call she seemed very out of it. She said she had no clue what happened to her. We only spoke a short while.
(The day this all happened was late Friday/early Saturday, with the first communication Saturday night) So, I ended that phone call totally unsure what would happen. Her vehicle was still in my drive. Saturday night, we were hit with a huge snow storm. It continued into Sunday and she ended up calling me Sunday in early afternoon. She asked for a ride! She said she was facing a two hour wait for a cab due to the storm. She had me parked in, (the police took her keys from me) but I wouldn't go get her anyway.
So, she ended up getting here and rang the bell to get the rest of her things. She was not apologetic, so I basically told her to leave.
I was angry and hurt she did not offer up an apology. This is my neighborhood and she caused quite a stir. Thank Goodness my child was not home that Friday night as I would never want him to be privy to the ranting she was doing in the yard....believe me he would have heard, just like the rest of the block.
I resigned myself to being totally done with her. It took a week and I did soften a bit because I feared our mutual friend might be left in a tight spot should it be a holiday or one of her kid's birthday parties or something and she would have to choose between us. So, I sent the nut job an email to at least get the lines of communication going.
She replied with, "I was in need and you didn't help me. At least I found caring people to take care of me." WTF? Getting hauled off to the psychiatric center is not "finding" anyone. So then and there I was done. Nearly 25 years of friendship over.
Now, my issue (sorry the back story got so long) is our mutual friend and a couple other not as close high school friends in common look down on ME because of this.
The consensus is, "Geez Campbell, we have all been drunk together before..."
This hurts so much. They did not live the crazy like I did. This wasn't silly drunk, it was messed up to the point they didn't release her until Sunday afternoon when all this happened late Friday/early Saturday. She maintains they kept her until she had no alcohol in her system, but I know three people who work in ER and they have all said anyone with a dangerously high B.A.C. won't go to the psychiatric center without being hospitalized first. She had drugs in her.
I need to make peace with this because it drives me crazy I am looked down upon for all this.
How do I make peace with it sans apology and being served up judgement for my actions when she gets none?