ohemgeebees
Active member
I'm only 21 and I know that other people have such worse lives than me but....I can't see it sometimes.
I wake up somedays and just think Why aren't I like them? Not in looks or personality or anything like that, but why doesn't being alone bother them? I don't even mean a relationship (which I'm not in btw) but with people. I can't lock myself away in my room or my house all day and feel like I'm okay because I don't. I get paranoid that I'm missing things or people think I don't like them. So I stick my head out of my door only to be rebuffed or ignored. It's no that their bad people or don't like me, but that I;ve let it go so far that I see things that aren't there. I make things up in my head, conversations and scenarios that MIGHT happen and then I get so caught up in them that I feel worse. All it's done is make me realise how alone I really feel, how isolated I think I am. Today for example I'm lucky if I saw someone for more than 10 minutes. And that's at a push.
I just don't understand why I feel alone and no one else seems to, you know? And I hate to talk to them about it, or my parents, because I feel so dumb and pathetic that I think that way. Which makes me worse again.
I wake up somedays and just think Why aren't I like them? Not in looks or personality or anything like that, but why doesn't being alone bother them? I don't even mean a relationship (which I'm not in btw) but with people. I can't lock myself away in my room or my house all day and feel like I'm okay because I don't. I get paranoid that I'm missing things or people think I don't like them. So I stick my head out of my door only to be rebuffed or ignored. It's no that their bad people or don't like me, but that I;ve let it go so far that I see things that aren't there. I make things up in my head, conversations and scenarios that MIGHT happen and then I get so caught up in them that I feel worse. All it's done is make me realise how alone I really feel, how isolated I think I am. Today for example I'm lucky if I saw someone for more than 10 minutes. And that's at a push.
I just don't understand why I feel alone and no one else seems to, you know? And I hate to talk to them about it, or my parents, because I feel so dumb and pathetic that I think that way. Which makes me worse again.