It's normal right?

[ohemgeebees]

I'm only 21 and I know that other people have such worse lives than me but....I can't see it sometimes.

I wake up somedays and just think Why aren't I like them? Not in looks or personality or anything like that, but why doesn't being alone bother them? I don't even mean a relationship (which I'm not in btw) but with people. I can't lock myself away in my room or my house all day and feel like I'm okay because I don't. I get paranoid that I'm missing things or people think I don't like them. So I stick my head out of my door only to be rebuffed or ignored. It's no that their bad people or don't like me, but that I;ve let it go so far that I see things that aren't there. I make things up in my head, conversations and scenarios that MIGHT happen and then I get so caught up in them that I feel worse. All it's done is make me realise how alone I really feel, how isolated I think I am. Today for example I'm lucky if I saw someone for more than 10 minutes. And that's at a push.

I just don't understand why I feel alone and no one else seems to, you know? And I hate to talk to them about it, or my parents, because I feel so dumb and pathetic that I think that way. Which makes me worse again.

 

[Ak5]

First of all, welcome to the Forums.

Yeah it's completely normal. My life is very good actually, I shouldn't be lonely but I am.

Your 21, in college right? Open up to people there?

 

[ohemgeebees]

I'm a Uni student yeh, my very last year. I try to chat to them but I feel very different from them in alot of way. I think alot of it is that I was from a very close family and group of friends so when I moved away and out of that comfort zone it was culture shock.

I agre with the whole good life thing though, I DO have a good life, but like you say, doesn't really stop it does it? WHich is a pain in the backside really.

 

[Ak5]

It's your last year, try adapting. You'll have to re-adapt as well when you get a job and have coworkers.

 

[ohemgeebees]

You;re right, I know it lol. I think what makes it worse is that it IS my last year. My head tells me I've not been able to fix it for two years why start now? And that with only about 5 months till I graduate, is it easier to cope than to deal with it? I know it's wiser to deal with it but when you feel like you're terrified they'll judge you or mock you coping is the nicer choice. I think when I work it'll be eaiser for me. I do well with routine and boundaries. I know that only so much can occur around me without my knowing and that's something I think will help how I think and react.

 

[Anten]

I make up scenarios in my head all the time and i even make up lofty adventures as some super cool guy that is a racer car driver or master inventor. I don't know why I can't stop this but I guess it is normal, i just try not to dwell to much on it and focus on my life.

 

[Ak5]

I make up scenarios in my head as well. It's sort of a way of coping.

 

[In a lonely place]

I'm a Uni student yeh, my very last year. I try to chat to them but I feel very different from them in alot of way. I think alot of it is that I was from a very close family and group of friends so when I moved away and out of that comfort zone it was culture shock.

I agre with the whole good life thing though, I DO have a good life, but like you say, doesn't really stop it does it? WHich is a pain in the backside really.

Hi, (Hugs),
you know when I started uni I had a lot of the same feelings as you describe. I think it's really hard for some people, who like their routines (this includes me, I don't deal with change very well).

I gave up - I quit the course and things were bad for a loooong time. But for me I think things were bad before then.

I say well done on making it this far. Don't be too hard on yourself. It may take time, but you will find yourself in the end.

 

[ohemgeebees]

*basks in her hug* Thanks. I think I've been waiting for it too end since around the second half of my first year. Like you say, it's just not for some people. But now I'm so close to the end (5 months or so) I just can't even think leaving would be worth it, it'd be a waste of 3 years. But then at the same time, I would literally wanna be anywhere but here now.

I think I'm cut out for a 9 to 5 job. I WANT one lol. I just keep reminding myself that I'll have one soon. Phew

 

[Sci-Fi]

It's no that their bad people or don't like me, but that I;ve let it go so far that I see things that aren't there. I make things up in my head, conversations and scenarios that MIGHT happen and then I get so caught up in them that I feel worse.

You've got to train yourself to stop doing this. Trust me if you don't you'll never stop. I still do that and it keeps me in at night. You can't dwell on what might happen and just let the chips fall where they may. Sometimes what we think might happen are just our own fears creating scenarios that we believe, which aren't always true.

 

[Tiina63]

Hi ohemgeebees-maybe a lot, or at least some, of the people around you, hate being alone too, but are too afraid to admit it. There is still a stigma attached to loneliness, which makes it even harder to admit to and to cope with. I know that certain people have been amazed when I have told them how lonely I am. Before, they probably assumed, if they thought about me at all, that I was ok with being alone.