Just gotta throw this out there- What do you think of Friends with Benefits?

[sk66rc]

I think sex is over-rated... It's been either glorified or demonized, one extreme or another... Yeah, some people, due to their past experiences, can't seem to get their head around the idea... Some don't see a problem with it... I've always looked at it as a whole package... Not to say it's right or wrong but it should be a personal decision... From my experiences, sex doesn't start with physical contact... It starts with the head (every possible pun intended)... Flirting, anticipation, the game itself, etc, etc... And I'm not talking about picking up a stranger from a bar either... My ex & I used to play the game all the time that lead into sex... Now that I'm single, I have mixed feelings about "friends with benefits"...

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Well I'll be damned.... I'd been pondering this proposal and not really sure if I'd pursue it or not (and I'll be honest, I was pretty much going to go for it) when the craziest thing happened- I clicked with someone from work. I've seen her around and never said more than hi until one day a little less than two months ago I had to sit down with her for a couple of hours to edit a report I had to submit. As we were working we had a really great chat about all sorts of stuff non-work related. I'll admit to an attraction to her but had no intention of 'going there' because I didn't want to come off as another guy at work hitting on her and I had no idea if she was in a relationship or not. Six weeks later I'm walking by her office, she sees me and invites me in. She's showing me pictures of a vacation she just had, we chat a bit and as I'm taking my leave she floors me by saying she'd like to continue the conversation over dinner. I happily gave her my number, we've spoke/exchanged messages for the last week or so, and tonight we sat in a park for five hours talking about everything- one of the best conversations I've had in years! She's made it pretty clear that she's got a healthy interest in me and would like to see where it might go.

I'm glad that I didn't pursue the neighbour now....

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I think sex is over-rated...

Like fresia it's over-rated!!!!

 

[VeganAtheist]

Well I'll be damned.... I'd been pondering this proposal and not really sure if I'd pursue it or not (and I'll be honest, I was pretty much going to go for it) when the craziest thing happened- I clicked with someone from work. I've seen her around and never said more than hi until one day a little less than two months ago I had to sit down with her for a couple of hours to edit a report I had to submit. As we were working we had a really great chat about all sorts of stuff non-work related. I'll admit to an attraction to her but had no intention of 'going there' because I didn't want to come off as another guy at work hitting on her and I had no idea if she was in a relationship or not. Six weeks later I'm walking by her office, she sees me and invites me in. She's showing me pictures of a vacation she just had, we chat a bit and as I'm taking my leave she floors me by saying she'd like to continue the conversation over dinner. I happily gave her my number, we've spoke/exchanged messages for the last week or so, and tonight we sat in a park for five hours talking about everything- one of the best conversations I've had in years! She's made it pretty clear that she's got a healthy interest in me and would like to see where it might go.

I'm glad that I didn't pursue the neighbour now....

Sounds pretty promising! Hope it works out.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Sounds pretty promising! Hope it works out.

Thanks- I found myself feeling something I haven't felt for a couple of years. Her looking me in the eye the way she did, telling me that there was an attraction physically and mentally gave me a deep thrill- she was amused by my shudder of excitement.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

Friends with benefits... So does that include medical and dental?

 

[Jazzbird]

I think sex is over-rated... It's been either glorified or demonized, one extreme or another... Yeah, some people, due to their past experiences, can't seem to get their head around the idea... Some don't see a problem with it... I've always looked at it as a whole package... Not to say it's right or wrong but it should be a personal decision... From my experiences, sex doesn't start with physical contact... It starts with the head (every possible pun intended)... Flirting, anticipation, the game itself, etc, etc... And I'm not talking about picking up a stranger from a bar either... My ex & I used to play the game all the time that lead into sex... Now that I'm single, I have mixed feelings about "friends with benefits"...

Agree with the sex is over-rated part.We humans need to stop making it a big deal already.I mean,we've been f--king for 200,000 years and people still get killed in today's world because of their sexuality.

Also agree with "sex starts with the head" - great point there.

I think FWBs are good.I mean I'd like to have one

 

[ladyforsaken]

Well I'll be damned.... I'd been pondering this proposal and not really sure if I'd pursue it or not (and I'll be honest, I was pretty much going to go for it) when the craziest thing happened- I clicked with someone from work. I've seen her around and never said more than hi until one day a little less than two months ago I had to sit down with her for a couple of hours to edit a report I had to submit. As we were working we had a really great chat about all sorts of stuff non-work related. I'll admit to an attraction to her but had no intention of 'going there' because I didn't want to come off as another guy at work hitting on her and I had no idea if she was in a relationship or not. Six weeks later I'm walking by her office, she sees me and invites me in. She's showing me pictures of a vacation she just had, we chat a bit and as I'm taking my leave she floors me by saying she'd like to continue the conversation over dinner. I happily gave her my number, we've spoke/exchanged messages for the last week or so, and tonight we sat in a park for five hours talking about everything- one of the best conversations I've had in years! She's made it pretty clear that she's got a healthy interest in me and would like to see where it might go.

I'm glad that I didn't pursue the neighbour now....

Omg that sounds awesome, WWC! Glad things are looking good with this lady. Hope it goes somewhere good for the both of you and that it'll work out. It must be really nice to feel what you're feeling now with her. Good luck.

 

[Ymir]

I think friendship with benefits is great. Friendships can be as fulfilling as romantic relationships, especially when there's some sex involved. The only problem I see with this is that people see friendship as something lesser -- and the friend with benefits becomes a last option. While I have my hang ups with commitment and rather be in a open and not romantic in nature relationship, I don't enjoy being treated as the last option, so... It doesn't work for me.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

I think friendship with benefits is great. Friendships can be as fulfilling as romantic relationships, especially when there's some sex involved. The only problem I see with this is that people see friendship as something lesser -- and the friend with benefits becomes a last option. While I have my hang ups with commitment and rather be in a open and not romantic in nature relationship, I don't enjoy being treated as the last option, so... It doesn't work for me.

Interesting point of view. Although it's suddenly become a moot point I don't think the suggestion from my neighbour was a "....treated as the last option...." kind of thing. I wasn't/haven't been looking for anything serious and she definitely doesn't come across as desperate, I think she simply desires occasional companionship without feeling the need to be invested in a relationship.

 

[Ymir]

I think friendship with benefits is great. Friendships can be as fulfilling as romantic relationships, especially when there's some sex involved. The only problem I see with this is that people see friendship as something lesser -- and the friend with benefits becomes a last option. While I have my hang ups with commitment and rather be in a open and not romantic in nature relationship, I don't enjoy being treated as the last option, so... It doesn't work for me.

Interesting point of view. Although it's suddenly become a moot point I don't think the suggestion from my neighbour was a "....treated as the last option...." kind of thing. I wasn't/haven't been looking for anything serious and she definitely doesn't come across as desperate, I think she simply desires occasional companionship without feeling the need to be invested in a relationship.

Ha, sorry, I forgot to put the disclaimer NOT ALWAYS. It's my general experience living where I live, where friendship with benefits basically means "last option".

Of course, it doesn't have to be the case 100% of the time.

 

[Batman55]

Ha, sorry, I forgot to put the disclaimer NOT ALWAYS. It's my general experience living where I live, where friendship with benefits basically means "last option".

Of course, it doesn't have to be the case 100% of the time.

That's interesting that such a stigma exists in your neck of the woods. It seems somewhat contradictory to what I know about South America. My friend knows someone who travels to Brazil for work and says the women down there are very forward and liberal in these matters. Well, the men too, of course. (I've read about this, too.)

 

[Ymir]

Ha, sorry, I forgot to put the disclaimer NOT ALWAYS. It's my general experience living where I live, where friendship with benefits basically means "last option".

Of course, it doesn't have to be the case 100% of the time.

That's interesting that such a stigma exists in your neck of the woods. It seems somewhat contradictory to what I know about South America. My friend knows someone who travels to Brazil for work and says the women down there are very forward and liberal in these matters. Well, the men too, of course. (I've read about this, too.)

Tell me where this person went because I'm going there.

 

[Batman55]

Tell me where this person went because I'm going there.

I've no idea specifically. The country is Brazil, that's as far as I know.

Anyway, if you weren't aware of it, the stereotype of Brazilians and other South American countries up here where I live... is that sensuality is less taboo down there, there's more freedom that way, the people are forward and less ashamed, etc. Not sure if it's accurate or not. But I've heard this and read about this many, many times.

 

[Ymir]

Tell me where this person went because I'm going there.

I've no idea specifically. The country is Brazil, that's as far as I know.

Anyway, if you weren't aware of it, the stereotype of Brazilians and other South American countries up here where I live... is that sensuality is less taboo down there, there's more freedom that way, the people are forward and less ashamed, etc. Not sure if it's accurate or not. But I've heard this and read about this many, many times.

I suppose it is true, but also somewhat false in my environment. Kissing, for example, always implies romantic feelings, unless you are in a party, and run away from the stones if you sleep with someone who isn't a romantic partner.

Eh. Can't say I know much. The only place I go to "socialize" is school, which isn't known to be the ideal place to look for open and non-romantic affairs.